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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off he's still in bed

118 replies

Thegoodthere · 16/02/2019 07:32

Went to bed last night with a horrendous toothache from a botched root canal. Have been awake at various points of the night taking co-codamol and looking after our DD, who still occasionally wakes in the night. Last night told DH I'd be going to minor injuries today.

DD came into my bed at half 6 this morning. We cuddled / played for a while then got up and went downstairs. DH still in bed, leaving me to to look over DD. For context, I've done 99 percent of night waking / early morning wake ups since DD was very little (she's now 3).

So selfish.

OP posts:
toastonbean · 16/02/2019 07:38

Well unless he's set an alarm or you go in there to wake him up why on earth would he wake up? I assume as it's the weekend he's not got to go to work?!

Just wake him up!

adaline · 16/02/2019 07:39

Just wake him up.

Whisky2014 · 16/02/2019 07:41

Did he realise you meant first thing? I dont know why you dont just go in and wake him up Confused

Weebitawks · 16/02/2019 07:45

Just wake him up and tell him. Yes you shouldn't necessarily have to but martyism doesn't get you anywhere

Whisky2014 · 16/02/2019 07:52

I can just envision op stomping about, being passive aggressive and putting everypne in a bad mood all day.
When she could have just said "Please get up now so I can go to dentist."

YouLikeTheBadOnesToo · 16/02/2019 07:53

Things like this can be so easily avoided if you just communicate. Go in to the bedroom and wake him up.

He might have fallen by back asleep by mistake, he might not realise you meant first thing, it might have just slipped his mind.

It’s pointless sitting downstairs getting more and more upset. Tell him what you need. It doesn’t have to turn into a big deal.

PodgeBod · 16/02/2019 07:53

Send your DD up to jump on the bed

Stormwhale · 16/02/2019 08:00

I just don't get these posts. If I was in this situation I would go in, tell dh that he needed to get up as I was in pain and exhausted/needed to seek medical attention, and he would. What is the point of getting upset because he hasn't immediately read your mind and knows exactly what to do. It's not like he is still in bed at 12pm. Did you ask him to take over in the night? Have you asked him to get up this morning?

BirthdayKake · 16/02/2019 08:04

Maybe OP's partner isn't like that. If I'd tried to wake my ex up at half 9 - let alone half 7 - he'd either have completely ignored me or I'd be met with a load of abuse, occasionally physical. Of course if that's the case then OP has much bigger problems...

Whisky2014 · 16/02/2019 08:04

Its because op is a drama lama

lostfrequencies · 16/02/2019 08:06

YABU.

roisinagusniamh · 16/02/2019 08:07

In the time it took you to write this post you could have woken your DH. He can't be that selfish or you wouldn't be with him, right?
Hope you get your tooth sorted .

Mysterycat23 · 16/02/2019 08:07

Send DD up to jump on him!

LadyintheRadiator · 16/02/2019 08:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocatoo · 16/02/2019 08:08

I think the problem is that you have allowed it for 3 years so he doesn’t think about it. Send DD up to him and get yourself ready to go.

NCjustforthisthread · 16/02/2019 08:09

Just wake him up for gods sake.

Pinkbells · 16/02/2019 08:09

If you wake him up and explain I bet he'd helpful and take over? Mine would, most would, surely?

Original poster
Thegoodthere · 16/02/2019 08:10

Wow. Thanks guys. This site has really gone downhill.

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 16/02/2019 08:11

So we're right and you caused ww3 over nothing. Very good.

toastonbean · 16/02/2019 08:12

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

Because we don't all agree with you? Because we're not telling you LTB?

Hope you get your tooth sorted soon, toothache is a different kind of evil but really...... just wake the guy up.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/02/2019 08:12

😀

RogueV · 16/02/2019 08:13

Just wake him up

TheInvestigator · 16/02/2019 08:14

If you've been doing all the night care and morning routine then your daughter is used to only waking you up. She won't go wake him. He should have woken up with the commotion, but you've gotten into a routine of him not doing that.

Change it today. Send her into bed to wake him, turn the lights on or open the curtains and just start getting ready. Say causally over your shoulder that you're going out so he needs to get up and look after her.

Twotinydictators · 16/02/2019 08:14

I know what you mean OP. If either me or DH was ill or in pain, we'd go to bed with it in mind that you get up with the DC so the other can have a lie in. DH is usually good like this but if he didn't wake up straight away I'd give him a nudge and he'd get up.

Sounds like your DH never gets up though so you're probably resentful about more than just this morning Flowers

YetAnotherSpartacus · 16/02/2019 08:15

Yes OP because it is apparently up to you to wake DP up and makes sure he parents his own child and shows you, his partner, some care and compassion. I get it. It's up to you because really it's your job, not DP's and thus reminding DP of his obligations or even how to be a caring human being is part of your emotional load. Beyond this if he did wake up and was a grouchy bear then that would be on your head too.

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