To ask who else has destroyed their fanjo having dc?

[Utterlymortified]

Name changed for obvious reasons but just that really - I'm 38 years old with one baby and I've just been told I have a prolapse that will need surgery once I 'finish my family' but in the meantime, here have this giant piece of rubber to shove up your bits every day to hold everything in place.

Yay! I can totally see me getting preggers again with all that going on!

Pretty gutted really. Anyone got any happy stories of how this happened to you but it all got magically fixed/you woke up and it was just a dream?? Or failing that I'll take gallows humour to cheer me up.

I had an epidural, episiotomy and ventose delivery with my first. I've after 4 years of a sore scar during sex I've been left with no sensation at all in my perianum which they can't fix.

Nearly 24 years ago now.

My advice would be to go and ask for help when it's obvious there's an issue rather than putting up with it.

I had a CS, so not me, but my best friend is a mess. If she doesn't get to the toilet when she needs it within a minute then she has accidents of both types. She tore badly, was stitched badly and now still has discomfort and loss of feeling 5 years later. She's pregnant again now and if the doctors don't agree to a CS this time then her and her DH will use all savings and borrow to go private.

Well that's all very cheering!

I've had 5 baby's. 4 natural delivery's one cs. I think I have a pre lapse but I can't bring myself to look down there 🙈

I have had 4 big babies + 1 late miscarriage where I had to give birth.
I haven't got major problems like yours but I have to brace myself before I cough or sneeze to avoid an accident. Let us not even mention jumping jacks when I try to exercise.

If it can make you feel any better my pregnancies have cost me my hair and my teeth (I will probably have to wear dentures in a not so distant future)

I would be pushing for a second referral to a gynae surgeon who specialises in prolapse / related surgery AND women’s physio to help make sure you know the right pelvic floor exercise routine to follow. If you need to complain go through PALS and keep repeating this is affecting your quality of life.

Personally I would only consider CS for any further births to try to avoid further / worsening prolapse issues.

So many women are left with post birth injuries and fobbed off, it’s shocking.

Sorry OP, hope you get some better supper for this, much hugs xxx

I've had two babies by vag delivery and was very upset after number 2 at how things had changed. No where near what you're going through but reckon it could be a mild prolapse. You have my sympathies, it's very upsetting and undermined my confidence in the bedroom for a long time. Things have improved after a lot of pelvic floor exercises and whilst it will never be what it was its become a new normal and I am not so nervous of intimacy anymore. It's weird how this is so common and so little talked about. it's not something I feel comfortable discussing with my friends at all. Keep kegeling and I hope things improve for you xx

I had a 3c tear after forceps delivery and 10lb baby.

I had nine months of physio afterwards. But I still had a recotcele and an enteroele. Fucking horrible. My physiotherapist was lovely and said that I should have an ELCS next time. She said that all the gynaecologist’s wives in the department had ELCSs because post birth injuries were so common.

I got pregnant again and had an ELCS (which took a couple of weeks to recover from as opposed to nine months!), then when DC2 was 6 months old I had my rectocele and enterocoele repaired privately because I had BUPA with work.

Everything is fine now. But I’m so glad I had the surgery. Fuck living with that forever.

Kick up a fuss OP. No way would a man just suck unit up and keep bunging his prolapsing organs win plastic.

It is never the same, i had to have some stiches.

I agree, push, push and push to be referred and taken seriously. And complain loudly if you're not happy with your treatment. Sadly, it isn't taken as seriously as it should be and some doctors seem to think it's not a problem to just 'put up with it' until you've finished having children (and even then you have to push to be helped).

I imagine that if men had to live with birth injuries, there's be a hell of a lot more funding and they'd be taken seriously much more quickly! All the money that goes into treating impotence, as if its a life threatening condition - surely birth injuries have a far bigger daily impact?

I have friends who have suffered birth injuries, with varying degrees of success in getting the treatment they need. Those who have been taken seriously and dealt wirh quickly have fated much, much better than those who were fobbed off repeatedly - physically and mentally.

I had an episiotomy with my first, she came out sideways with her fist up by her head CHEERS LOVE. My second flew out no problems. My fanjo looks like a right mess though, there's all sorts of flaps and bits of skin I'm sure weren't there before and everything is definitely not as tucked away as it once was.

Do you do pelvic floor exercises? I don't of course, even though I know I need to.

Also tmi but my orgasms are not as intense as they were pre children.

I had a CS and I'm glad I did. Honestly speaking every single person I know who had a VD has a horrendous story to tell. Two of my friends actually regret even going this route because of what they went through.

3rd degree tear and botched surgery afterwards.

Aesthetically I look different but it hasn’t caused any physical problems so I couldn’t care less!

Is it worth the trauma of having a second baby vaginally? Insist on a caesarian.
I'd strongly urge you to see a private gynae for a consultation, one who can refer you for scans and treatment on the NHS.
You need more information about your condition and treatment options.

I had a 3rd degree tear w first one and a 2nd degree tear w no. 2. So quite a lot of scar tissue and, for a long time, v little sensation down there (once it had stopped bloody hurting). Ongoing bladder probs too.

So thats the bad stuff. Over time Ive regained a lot of sensation so sex is good again. There is sone lasting nerve danage to my peritinium so I cant feel if Im doing my kegels properly but Im now learning to do them properly and that's helping w the stress incontinence. So things are a hell of a lot better than they were (and would have got better sooner if I hadnt waited 10 years to see GP).

My SiL had some scar revision work done 8 years after giving birth and that really helped her. So I really do think it is worth while persisting in seeking treatment rather than just letting them dismiss you and suffering at home.

I had a 3rd degree tear 5 1/2 years ago. Recovery was terrible and I had ongoing pain and issues afterwards.
I went back and forth to the GP and physio at hospital and eventually I saw someone who took the matter seriously and I had a referral to a surgeon who confirmed I needed corrective surgery and it was no wonder I was suffering.
This was 14 months after the birth and that period of time was incredibly hard and had me feeling very low.
I'm now pregnant again after finally feeling ready and will definitely be having an elective C Section. I cannot risk going through that again.
My advice would be to push to get your issues resolved sooner rather than later and don't be fobbed off.

My Fanjo was torn to shreds after dc1...literally had severe internal tearing. Didn't get to see him for the first 2 hours because I needed surgery right away and was haemorrhaging badly. Then got asked why I hadn't had sex yet at my 6 week check up by the (male) doctor.

"Nothing gets me in the mood more doc than dick on my stitches" idiot.

I'm also facing the possibility of bowel incontinence due to nerve damage... woo.

One positive is a planned c section for dc2 was amazing in comparison. I know your pelvic floor is still damaged by pregnancy but it's nice to have the damage in another place plus it was just a fantastic experience overall.

I must add he asked how my husband felt about it (referring to the lack of sex in 6 weeks)... utterly speechless

Fanjo is fine but pelvic floor is totally fucked. It's been over 10 years since I've been able to cough with confidence.

no success story here either. 8 years on and bits fall out of me when I go to the loo.

100% wish I'd had a C-section...to be fair I did beg for one...I just got ignored.

doory How did you not lamp him?

I am sorry to hijack. Just realised what I thought was normal may not be. Re: defecation - how long should one be able to hold on when the urge arises? I can barely hold on but had no tears or cuts, other than an external labial tear.

And I did feel like my insides were coming out for a while. I just pelvic floored it up and hoped for the best.