Inheritance problem

[Brian9600]

My FIL died at the end of last year. He left quite a substantial estate, inc two houses, to be shared equally between his three children (MIL died some years ago).

The original plan was to sell the houses and split everything (post IHT) equally in cash. However, DH is now wondering whether he might prefer to keep one of the houses and have a smaller amount of cash (so that everyone still gets the same, IYSWIM). It's a cottage in the Lake District which FIL used to use for holidays and which he would also let DH and his other two children (SIL and BIL) borrow for holidays and weekends.

DH's plan is that we could use the cottage for holidays and also continue to let SIL and BIL use it when we weren't. This would obviously be nice for them as well as beneficial for us (as the house wouldn't be standing empty so much).

However, he's now getting cold feet about the idea as, when he mentioned it to SIL, she reacted as if it would be communal- talking about making up rotas for sharing, which bedroom would be hers, changes she would like to make etc etc. DH didn't really know how to react so didn't say anything but I think he was quite annoyed- SIL will be getting exactly the same share of the estate and doesn't have any interest in owning the house herself.

I wondered whether anyone had any views on this or experience to share? It may be just that she spoke thoughtlessly and actually there's no problem. But DH is worried that, even once he's been clearer that it would be our house not SIL's, it wouldn't feel properly like ours.

I have been trying to keep out of it as it's his family and his inheritance. But I feel slightly worried about it too.

Is it possible that your SIL thought you wanted to retain the cottage in joint ownership between the three siblings and then they would each get a share of the remainder? If not I would just sell it and use the cash to buy a holiday house elsewhere because it won’t go well at this rate.

Another option is for the 3 children to keep the house and share it (if they want to) and then share the proceeds of the other house sale.

If you go down this route first you need valuations on both properties to see exactly what the estate is worth in total. Then sell the second property to be sure of the total cash. Have it written up that the property for example worth 150 plus say 20 as your husbands and 170 to each other sibling. Make it clear the property would be his and up to him to let them use when he wishes other wise you could suggest if she wants a rota then the house is kept rest of estate split equally and share the time. She can not expect a third of the estate and to dictate how your husband uses his so to speak.

Don’t do either, if you want a holiday property I would go for something different.

My family decided to share and own my paternal grandparents place after all putting in a lot of money each to do it up. Queue new questions and issues now that the siblings are all retiring. Two uncles had lived abroad so now my dad hates going up as they are both permeability there. Ultimately If you go with co owning then one will invariably own it more than the other(s) which tends to lead to resentment

It will never be viewed by his siblings as being solely "your" property. I would absolutely sell it and buy a new house with your share of the proceeds.

We had exactly this situation several years ago. Partner kept hold of the 'family' holiday cottage... i.e. it it legally his, because he wanted to keep it in the family, and it had sentimental value. What this has meant in reality is that he pays all the bills, maintenance, etc, and the rest of his extended family stay there for free, when they like, don't clean it afterwards, etc. It is a complete nightmare. He has tried to resolve the situation so many times and it always ends really badly, with everyone taking offence... so he now wants to sell it, even though it's a place we love to go to. Oh, and very difficult for me, being on the periphery too, since it's not my family, so I can't be as stroppy about it as I want to be.

Again changing the locks is a must and an arrangement to prepay for a cleaner I think.

Sell up and buy somewhere else if you really want a holiday home... His sister has already shown you that this will end up a nightmare if you don't!

We had a cottage in the family which was left to all of the next generation, but an older relation was left the responsibility of managing it. There are generations of us with a history of hols there.

We did have to pay a nominal rent, and there were calculations to cover electricity and phone use (pre mobiles.) Had to bring your own sheets and leave everything clean and tidy. Bookings were first come, first served, but sometimes some juggling over the summer.

It mostly worked well - until the elderly relation died...

• Have a clear, well-worded will, which has no ambiguous clauses.
• It's not worth falling out over, but it is easy to cause family rifts over this stuff.
• A single owner is definitely easier to manage.

I go with those saying sell it, split the profits, buy another.

(Ours was bought by a single family member - we can still book it. I prefer to stay with other family in the area, so haven't. It was not an easy time, though, and there were some fallings out which are unresolved over a decade on.)

Either he takes sole ownership of it after agreement from the 2 siblings (in lieu of inheritance, or however it will work out with the totals divided by the 3 siblings) or sell both properties and buy a different holiday home.

I think either way you'll be looking at the SIL sticking her neck in one way or another, but probably even worse if you went with the first option of keeping the house.

It costs more to sell and buy a new house though, as stamp duty would be payable on a ‘new’ cottage, and at a high rate because it is a second home, whereas no stamp duty if the house is inherited.

In the end you have to decide whether you want a cottage in tne Lakes, and whether you would get your money’s worth.

How many times a year, realistically, would you use it? Would you feel you ‘had’ to take hold there and miss out variety elsewhere? Kids are less keen to go aaay for weekends once friendships become central. Can you afford the ongoing overheads and maintenance?

How different would your lives be if you used the proceeds to pay off your mortgage?

Is your DH being sentimental about the house? Which is totally understandable but you need hard thinking too.

If it was me i would sell it. If you want to keep it you need to have a proper sit down indepth conversation with sil.