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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not get the big deal about Michelle Obama?

363 replies

wellhellothereall · 12/02/2019 07:04

She married a bloke who became president...so why is she so revered, because she married well? I just don't get it.

OP posts:
Tinkety · 12/02/2019 08:55

@wellhellothereall you think Anna Wintour made her own way?

I suggest you do a bit of research into her father & all the older, well connected boyfriends she had as a teenager who allowed her to break into the industry & get the publication experience needed to be who she is today. It’s definitely an advantage if your father can pull a few strings for you & if the man you’re sleeping with hires you to work at is publication so you can get a foot on the ladder.

Lweji · 12/02/2019 08:56

Would we would ever have heard of her if she hadn't chanced to marry a future US President though ?

We don't know.
I don't think she would want to.
Barack wrote a book about himself that sold very well before running for President. Michelle didn't want him to run...

In don't think she ever wanted to be a public figure, so I wouldn't call it a chance.

She's doing the best she can and dealing with public interest the best she can. I don't think she's courting it or even really interested. But rather, intervening when she sees the need for it.

PengAly · 12/02/2019 08:57

She is a singular figure as a female role model and to not understand that is just a mark of your own foolishness

This 1000000% ^^ OP, you are a fool for being proud of your ignorance. You clearly have no interest in reading what people have said about her, you just want to be bitter and "play stupid". If you feel that a woman isn't worthy of her achievements because of who she is married to than you do not have the intellectual capacity to even be able to hold a decent conversation. I'm out and have another Biscuit

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 12/02/2019 08:57

arsefeatures who knows whether we would have heard of her, doesn’t mean she wouldn’t have been any less fabulous had she not married Obama.

LilaJude · 12/02/2019 08:58

Pretty sure he was the one who married well. Have you read anything about her legal career and her life before Obama was elected president?

I highly recommend her book.

Downtroddenhousingass · 12/02/2019 08:59

She's done well, but I've got friends that have just as many achievements.

Obama didn't really accomplish much.

CockleburIck · 12/02/2019 09:16

Obama didn't really accomplish much

Yes, most people become the most powerful man in the world at some point. Hmm

arsefeatures · 12/02/2019 09:19

But her marriage gave her a prominent public role without having to earn it for herself.

fabulous Plenty of people come from modest backgrounds and do well, why all the gushing ?

Katterinaballerina · 12/02/2019 09:19

*She's done well, but I've got friends that have just as many achievements.

Obama didn't really accomplish much.*

You must be utterly amazing. I shrink from the glow of your magnificence.

derxa · 12/02/2019 09:20

She's an extremely intelligent woman who's achieved a lot in her life despite the prejudice she must have encountered. However I do find the language used to describe her a little bit cloying.

thecatsthecats · 12/02/2019 09:20

Well, Malala only got a book deal because she was shot in the head, but it doesn't mean she was uninteresting before that. Well, you could say she was shot in the head because she was interesting, and that Michelle Obama married the future president because of who she was... etc

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/02/2019 09:21

Obama didn't really accomplish much

He got a Nobel Prize, didn't he ... ? Wink

arsefeatures · 12/02/2019 09:21

CockleburIck. You didn't mention the fact that he bombed 7 different countries. Ramped up a brutal drone campaign that killed dozens at wedding parties and hospitals. Empowered the Iranian theocracy and signed a terrible trade deal with China.

BishopBrennansArse · 12/02/2019 09:22

Well if you bother to read her book she's done a lot more with her life than just be married to Barack.
Even before he had the presidency she had worked with charities making a real difference to the lives of disadvantaged people, she had held down extremely senior positions in a University too....

It's not just that, even now she's not FLOTUS she's continuing to use the springboard she was given with that position to try and better the lives of others.

databreachname · 12/02/2019 09:25

what has she done that deserves standing ovations

What motivates a person to single out another woman to unpick on a Mumsnet forum, and of all people she chooses it's a woman who has overcome very real barriers of misogyny and racism, has a real social conscience and has been an excellent role model.

Look up misogynoir OP.

Also, too many MN users do not understand the concept of racism. They think that racism must only look like outright abuse or name calling. Structural racism and white privilege are rife and embedded in our society, and responsible for example, for a disproportionate number of people questioning MO's credentials, compared to another (white) woman with similar level of achievements.

I really hope you can read her book OP, and analyse what prompted you to start this thread in the first place.

CookingGood · 12/02/2019 09:28

I like Michelle, but I get what OP means.

If it wasn’t for the fact she is married to Barrack, would we even know who she is? Would she still be this influential person who is admired by so many people?

It’s Obamas status that brought her into the limelight and that’s a huge shame because I doubt she’d be known of and so well thought of if it wasn’t for him, even thought she is just as great as him on her own merit.

CookingGood · 12/02/2019 09:30

^and that is a feminism and race issue

arsefeatures · 12/02/2019 09:30

analyse what prompted you to start this thread in the first place.

Why are you trying to stigmatise discussion about Michelle Obama that isn't gushing and fawning over her ?

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 12/02/2019 09:31

I find her fascinating. She has massive charisma that I haven’t seen in any of the other First Ladies of my lifetime.

At4oclockthenormalworld · 12/02/2019 09:32

OP you posted in AIBU and the majority say yes you are. So there's your answer Smile.

Maybe you could start another thread encouraging others to pick apart a different woman?

CockleburIck · 12/02/2019 09:32

arsefeatures and you fail to recognise that Obama, apart from the massive achievement of becoming, not only POTUS, but the first black POTUS:

1 – Rescued the country from the Great Recession, cutting the unemployment rate from 10% to 4.7% over six years

2 – Signed the Affordable Care Act which provided health insurance to over 20 million uninsured Americans

3 – Ended the war in Iraq

4 – Ordered for the capture and killing of Osama Bin Laden

5 – Passed the $787 billion America Recovery and Reinvestment Act to spur economic growth during the Great Recession

6 – Supported the LGBT community’s fight for marriage equality

7 – Commuted the sentences of nearly 1200 drug offenders to reverse “unjust and outdated prison sentences”

8 – Saved the U.S. auto industry

9 – Helped put the U.S. ontrack for energy independence by 2020

10 – Began the drawdown of troops in Afghanistan

11 – Signed the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals allowing as many as 5 million people living in the U.S. illegally to avoid deportation and receive work permits

12 –Signed the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act to re-regulate the financial sector

13 – Dropped the veteran homeless rate by 50 percent

14 – Reversed Bush-era torture policies

15 – Began the process of normalizing relations with Cuba

16 – Increased Department of Veteran Affairs funding

17 – Signed the Credit Card Accountability, Responsibility, and Disclosure Act

18 – Boosted fuel efficiency standards for cars

19 – Improved school nutrition with the Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act

20 – Repealed the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy

21 – Signed the Hate Crimes Prevention Act, making it a federal crime to assault anyone based on sexual or gender identification

22 – Helped negotiate the landmark Iran Nuclear Deal

23 – He signed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act to combat pay discrimination against women

24 – Nominated Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court, making her the first Hispanic ever to serve as a justice

25 – Supported veterans through a $78 billion tuition assistance GI bill

26 – Won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2009 “for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples”

27 – Launched My Brother’s Keeper, a White House initiative designed to help young minorities achieve their full potential

28 – Expanded embryonic stem cell research leading to groundbreaking work in areas including spinal injury treatment and cancer

LilaJude · 12/02/2019 09:33

Would we would ever have heard of her if she hadn't chanced to marry a future US President though?

An equally valid question would be ‘Would Obama have become President if he hadnt married Michelle Obama’. It’s impossible to say how much of a role her ideas and support and assistance played in his ultimately being elected. My view is that she was an instrumental part of his success.

She's done well, but I've got friends that have just as many achievements.

The only way this could be true would be if you had friends who had held one of the most powerful and influential positions in the world, written a bestseller, pioneered initiatives in literacy, female empowerment through education and public health, obtained 2 degrees from Ivy League universities, raised two kids and achieved icon status as the first black FLOTUS. So I guess you have some pretty amazing friends...

Obama didn't really accomplish much.

What a stupid thing to say.

grumiosmum · 12/02/2019 09:34

It’s Obamas status that brought her into the limelight

I think one could make a very credible argument that, if Barack hadn't married Michelle, he may not have become President.

Read the book. She supported and advised him, she made speeches at his rallies that attracted thousands because of who she was, not just her association with him.

LilaJude · 12/02/2019 09:35

@CockleburIck you don’t know what you’re talking about. I did all of that before breakfast this morning AND found a cure for cancer. I expect that by lunch I’ll have world peace and global inequality wrapped up too.

IAmNotAWitch · 12/02/2019 09:37

Michelle Obama appears to have her shit together.

This is my highest accolade as I am constantly surrounded and apparently governed by people who do not have their shit together.

Obama
Ardern
Keifel

All women who have their shit together.

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