To not get the big deal about Michelle Obama?

[wellhellothereall]

She married a bloke who became president...so why is she so revered, because she married well? I just don't get it.

Erm where did I say I hadn't read the rest of the thread
Can someone give a definition of mumsy? I'd be delighted to hear it.

It is a fair question. MO is an amazing achiever, charismatic and a good communicator. Crucially she has chosen to use that to make the world a better place.

However on Mumsnet it is de rigueur to gush over MO while showing utter contempt for similar figures - for example Cherie Blair. Another woman of humble origins who made her way to the top of the legal profession and then married someone who went to become president / PM.

Comparisons with Melania Trump are unfair - the two women have a different character and different intellectual ability. One was able to make the most of the best education and is confident in the limelight. The other one looks out of her depth and is regularly mocked for her efforts in a language she learnt as an adult and she has to live with Trump I will not join in.

Apart from that I am uncomfortable with the idea that being "warm" and "graceful" are reasons for women in the public eye to be admired. I am trying to remember if Mr Thatcher or Mr May have been described in those terms. Off to Google...

I actually think she overcame far more obstacles than Barack - a black woman from the south side of Chicago - ended up at Princeton and Harvard Law School and in a top flight commercial law firm

You could well be right - and massive credit to her for all of those things

A pity, though, that after growing up in an America which afforded her the opportunity for that success, she waited for her husband's election to say it was the first time in her adult life she'd been proud of her country

She didn't "marry a president". She married a man who became the president. There's a huge difference.

Puzzled why? I can imagine a lot of black Americans might struggle to feel proud of their country, given it's history, some of it recent and indeed current.

To see that a majority of the voting public vote for a black president has got to give you hope were previously you might have had little or none. Shame they followed him up with Trump, of course - back to reality, I guess.

stressed agreed.

A pity, though, that after growing up in an America which afforded her the opportunity for that success, she waited for her husband's election to say it was the first time in her adult life she'd been proud of her country

Are you for real? That old trope of white, racist republicanism?? Do you wonder sometimes about Obama's birth cert too?

She achieved what she did despite of American society - not because of it. Do you really think white middle class american was rooting for her success. When her white roommate requested a change of dorm - was that because american was "affording her the opportunity for success". Anyway she has explained that remark. But seriously, do you think the descendent of slaves - someone who would be a slave herself if she had been born 100 years before, someone whose people were discriminated against, lynched and treated like second class citizens should be wittering on about how proud she is of white america. You remind me of those people in the US who say well ALL lives matter you know. There is no fool like a fool who doesn't face history.

@AndhowcouldIeverrefuse

Totally get your point but when I think about it, I think Barack Obama can be described as warm. To me it suggest strong empathy and an ability to make other people feel comfortable and relaxed when engaging with them. Cool, calm, measured by emotionally engaged.

I agree though interesting that the general public tends to chastise female public figures for not being "warm" but never think to do the same about men.

I happen to think that a lot of he time, it's a a combination of non-arrogant confidence, warmth and charisma that sets some extraordinary people apart from the rest of us. If only someone could bottle that shit!

Great post by Pallisers

*measured but emotionally engaged

pallisers I'm well aware of America's racial problems, both historical and current, thanks all the same - though being white I don't claim to appreciate their full effect

I also know that, sadly, there'll always be filthy racists, though in all the time spent there I've only ever met two (plus one more I'm not sure about)

But while I can only speak from my own experience, every other American I've known has had nothing but admiration for Michelle and what she's achieved ... and it's perhaps interesting that the loudest complaints I've heard about the remark mentioned has come from black Americans themselves

Comparisons with Melania Trump are unfair

I don't think so. One is to be admired, the other less so.
One inflates her own successes (apparently she doesn't speak 1000s of languages) and the other comes across as your next door neighbour leading some people to think she's accomplished less than she has.

I will read the book and I am sure I will find her life interesting and admirable. I am not denying that her achievements as a woman of colour from a poor back ground make her educational achievements commendable. That said, I am not sure though that I will still understand the LEVELS of adoration accorded to a woman who whilst undoubtedly helpied her husband achieve his success is lauded more than women who achieve this for themselves. None of the PP have explained this to me. Or perhaps they have and I am just too thick, racist, unsuccessful and ugly to understand (probably have missed some of the other insults thrown at me). At the end of the day I hadn't heard much about her until after her husband finished his term. I wonder if some of the adoration is driven by her being symbolises as an anti-thesis to Trump? Still will read the book and perhaps I will be enlightened

I am confident you will be op

I went from overwhelming indifference to fawning over her

Would recommend the audio. She reads it beautifully

I like her, I just wish she was a mum to boys as well as girls, I'd love to hear her views on bringing up boys

OP you need to go and educate yourself on the things she has achieved and worked hard to support before you criticise.

She's an incredibly intelligent woman who has used that intelligence and her position to bring attention to important issues and to make a positive impact to people's lives and causes.

@TheRiverIsAComfort
I wish you could walk in the shoes of black women.
Melania Trump and Kim Kardashian sell their bodies but M Obama is a successful lawyer whose compared to “chimp In heels”
also a drag queen.
You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with this fucking shit plus explain to your very small bright and incredibly beautiful black 11 year old girl that despite it being 2019 and having professional parents she going to be judged.
I’m angry and will be judged for that also.

Still will read the book and perhaps I will be enlightened

Perhaps?

How could you possibly any less enlightened?

Comparisons with Melania Trump are unfair - the two women have a different character and different intellectual ability.

I can't think of anyone who'd want to be FLOTUS after Michelle. I agree that the comparisons are extremely unfair especially as Melania seems to be a very reluctant FLOTUS who would have probably been happier in her old life. However Melania is an ex-model with an extraordinary clothing budget so comments about her fashion is justified- especially if she uses it for political reasons. (Thinking of the "I don't care coat " here)

What is your opinion on Hillary Clinton OP?

Golden not sure that's relevant - never saw the same amount of gushing over Hilary Clinton so not sure it's comparable

Stupo I don't know I guess all I can wish for is that one day I am as utterly amazing as you clearly are

@wellhellothereall
That said, I am not sure though that I will still understand the LEVELS of adoration accorded to a woman who whilst undoubtedly helped her husband achieve his success is lauded more than women who achieve this for themselves.

bu M.Obama achieved success in her own right! She isn't "just" a wife of somebody!

Mmmm thanks will download that sounds good

I find it interesting that you praise a successful woman and it’s “gushing”.

I’m in a number of groups surrounding women in the workplace, and MO often comes up as a role model. I’m yet to see “gushing”.

@arsefeatures
Have you read her book most likely not.
If it’s too difficult just google her and you can look and learn.
I know it’s painful when a beautiful incredibly intelligent black women is on top but get over it!!