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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who was U here? Not my neighbour.

242 replies

AuntieCJ · 11/02/2019 14:29

On my way back down the lane earlier I found my neighbour of a few doors up involved in a nasty sounding argument with a man. She has a large front garden with high fences and gates. A man had been trying to push a large barking dog into her garden. He'd opened the gate to do so. She'd seen him and rushed out to see what he was doing.

The dog had been running up to people and barking and running into the road, narrowly avoiding being run over. The man had caught it by the collar and was trying to put it into neighbour's garden. It's not her dog and she didn't want it in her garden, it was very big and barky and I don't blame her.

The man tried to insist saying the dog could cause an accident or attack someone because it was panicking. She said to take it to his own house and keep it there. He said his garden wasn't secure like hers. She said that if he left the dog there she'd let it out the moment he'd gone. He doesn't live near us but had stopped his car to try to help and didn't want to put it in his car.

All the time he was trying to push the gate and force the dog into the garden. By this time it was snarling and growling and it tried to bite him. He let it go and it ran off. Imagine if it had been trapped in neighbour's garden in that mood. It was U of him to try to do that, wasn't it? If I'd have found that big angry dog in my garden I'd have been frightened as was my neighbour.

OP posts:
EatShitBoswell · 12/02/2019 19:07

"You and your neighbour were being unreasonable and I sincerely hope I don't have people like you in my community. "It's not my problem" is such a rotten attitude to have. It wasn't the mans problem either but he was trying to help. "
Not really the 'not my problem' was the man trying to force the dog into an elderly woman's garden.

EatShitBoswell · 12/02/2019 19:14

"He obvs didn't want a strange dog loose in his car. "
@macblank

😂yes, just like this woman didn't want a strange dog loose on her property lol.
He should've just phoned the dog warden!

EverybodyLovesRaymond · 12/02/2019 19:27

I am a massive dog lover so I would have put the dog in my garden. Not everyone is a dog lover though and she might have been frightened. I have dogs so I would have nipped inside and got a lead and tried to help. Knowing my luck though the man and woman would have gone and I'd have been left on my own trying to sort the dog out. I couldn't have left it though.

Aridane · 12/02/2019 19:27

Er, a bit different having Cujo unsecured in a car to Cujo confined in a garden

BloodyHellBeryl · 12/02/2019 19:30

@Aridane. I don't think I'd want a cujo in my garden either 😮

Goes off to Google cujo's.

macblank · 12/02/2019 19:35

Massive difference between a confined car, and an open garden.

flowergrrl77 · 12/02/2019 19:40

Dogs absolutely terrify me! Especially the kind you describe! I’d have been on the phone to the police if someone has done that to my garden!

I also have young children who are often in the garden (but can’t be SEEN from the path as the fence is 6ft plus 2ft trellis!

I’m sorry your neighbour still feels rattled :(

I do hope the dog found it’s way home... but I’m glad it wasn’t my garden involved!

Maneandfeathers · 12/02/2019 19:47

IMO the man was trying to do the most logical thing.

Suggesting dragging an aggressive terrified dog god knows how far to his house or worse trying to lift it into his car is madness Hmm
He was clearly trying to stop others getting hurt and may not have done a runner at all.
I would rather it was confined somewhere (anywhere!) until the police or dog warden came rather than running around attacking people. The police would come pretty quickly for an out of control dangerous dog.

I don’t think people who are suggesting take it home know how hard wrestling aggressive massive dogs actually is, and before anyone mentions it...yes it is my job.

Aridane · 12/02/2019 19:50

bloody - Cujo is a horror novel about a rabid dog written by Stephen King!

Aridane · 12/02/2019 19:52

Cujo

BloodyHellBeryl · 12/02/2019 20:00

Christ, I wouldn't want that within miles of me, let alone in my garden @Aridane 😯

EatShitBoswell · 12/02/2019 20:30

"Massive difference between a confined car, and an open garden."

My point was that the woman didn't want the dog on her properly. I don't think he should've put an aggressive dog in his car 🙄 like I said, he should've phoned the dog warden instead of trying force a situation on this woman

XingMing · 12/02/2019 20:35

Have not RTFT in any detail, but I think he was probably trying to avoid accidents, and her (in the country) if he had come to my door and told me what was happening, I would have been fine to wait for the dog warden to claim the dog. As a dog owner, I would also have provided water and food for the dog.

But then, I'm the person who has rounded up a loose horse off a road and popped it into a safe field with other livestock, and just trusted that the finder would eventually reunite it with its owner, to make sure the horse didn't cause a road accident.

In a city, maybe a little more caution.

EatShitBoswell · 12/02/2019 20:35

Also it doesn't really matter whether you or he thought it was logical or what anyone here thinks this woman should've done. She said no and he carried on trying to force his way into a woman's garden with an aggressive dog. That's wrong no matter what you would've done. He was out of order.

XingMing · 12/02/2019 20:40

Most dogs would calm down if placed in a quiet secure location, even an unfamiliar one. Which would be safer all round.

Worsethingshappen · 12/02/2019 20:56

I think it sounds like this man was actually trying to help.
On balance he was trying to protect the public and other drivers, and also the dog. He had to make a quick decision, under immense pressure, and it’s dounds reasonable enough to me under the circumstances.
He didn’t have to get out of his car and handle an aggressive dog. But he did. He was safe in his car. He was obviously trying his best to help.
I think you are over reacting OP.

Maneandfeathers · 12/02/2019 21:00

Well yes, he was unreasonable to try and force his way in but have you ever held onto an aggressive dog with presumably no equipment or training, bloody scary and not exactly the time for rational thought.

Better an empty secure garden than allowing it on the streets where there are potentially vulnerable people/children/pets/where it could seriously hurt someone or cause an accident.

I would have thought more people would want to help keep other people safe but clearly there are a lot of selfish people out there.

EatShitBoswell · 12/02/2019 21:08

But at the point where he was trying to force the dog in, the garden wasn't empty. He wasn't just forcing the gate, he was trying to let an aggressive dog loose in the garden with the woman!
The man was silly to do what he did and completely out of order for the way he treated the woman.
Yes he was probably scared but I expect she was scared at that point too.

Dutchesss · 12/02/2019 21:19

Sorry but I'd have let it in my garden and I'm not even a big fan of dogs.
It could do £100's of damage locked in a car, it would be stressed out as well. I'm imagining after going through the effort of stopping his journey and catching the dog that the man would have informed the garden owner and dog warden of what he'd done. If he was someone who didn't care enough to follow it up he's unlikely to have stopped in the first place.

CrimpBrunette · 12/02/2019 21:21

People who haven't read Cujo, should definitely read Cujo
misses point

Ihaveabloodyheadache · 12/02/2019 21:21

empty secure garden

He didn't know that it was empty or secure because he didn't ask, just opened the gate and tried to shove the dog through and continued to do so even when told not to.
So potentially vulnerable people/children/pets/ could have been present, he didn't bother to check.

winniestone37 · 12/02/2019 22:28

but was it really the end of the world if it was in her garden and the rspca called? I would have let him.

SaturdayNext · 12/02/2019 22:36

He removed the dog from harming itself or harming others and tried to keep it in a safe secure environment.

Except that isn't what happened. He wanted to put the dog into a front garden which had access to a back garden that he couldn't see. If there were children playing in the back, he would be putting them in serious danger.

I would rather it was confined somewhere (anywhere!) until the police or dog warden came rather than running around attacking people

But this man couldn't have known it was confined. For all he knew there was a way out at the back which was accessible via the passageway at the side.

dragonsfire · 12/02/2019 22:44

I am a dog lover I personally would have done anything required to help the dog.

Saying that he was being unreasonable and your neighbour had the right to say no.

Did anyone call the local police or dog warden to keep an eye out for the dog after it ran off? Could be a danger to children or could potentially cause car accident - I think you or your neighbour should have at least called 101 or the dog warden to report it.

dragonsfire · 12/02/2019 22:45

Of the man of course!