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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who was U here? Not my neighbour.

242 replies

AuntieCJ · 11/02/2019 14:29

On my way back down the lane earlier I found my neighbour of a few doors up involved in a nasty sounding argument with a man. She has a large front garden with high fences and gates. A man had been trying to push a large barking dog into her garden. He'd opened the gate to do so. She'd seen him and rushed out to see what he was doing.

The dog had been running up to people and barking and running into the road, narrowly avoiding being run over. The man had caught it by the collar and was trying to put it into neighbour's garden. It's not her dog and she didn't want it in her garden, it was very big and barky and I don't blame her.

The man tried to insist saying the dog could cause an accident or attack someone because it was panicking. She said to take it to his own house and keep it there. He said his garden wasn't secure like hers. She said that if he left the dog there she'd let it out the moment he'd gone. He doesn't live near us but had stopped his car to try to help and didn't want to put it in his car.

All the time he was trying to push the gate and force the dog into the garden. By this time it was snarling and growling and it tried to bite him. He let it go and it ran off. Imagine if it had been trapped in neighbour's garden in that mood. It was U of him to try to do that, wasn't it? If I'd have found that big angry dog in my garden I'd have been frightened as was my neighbour.

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 12/02/2019 10:25

and she wasn't so elderly she couldn't go out and cause merry hell

Hmm
Bluntness100 · 12/02/2019 10:29

You can't put a large dog in thr boot. 😱

Original poster
AuntieCJ · 12/02/2019 10:30

She could easily have let the dog into her garden and called to have the dog rescued.

No she couldn't for reasons already given. Just accept you are wrong and stop digging.

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 12/02/2019 10:32

You can't put a large dog in thr boot

But you can put an out of control aggressive dog in an old ladies garden? Ok then Hmm

If it wasn't a great Dane or an Irish wold hound I think it would have been fine in the boot for 10-15mins until he reached the nearest animal rescue/police station.

AryaStarkWolf · 12/02/2019 10:33

wolf*

RainbowWaffles · 12/02/2019 10:34

The image of this dog being painted seems to be a rabid junk yard dog that would have roamed her front garden waiting to pounce. The OP says he was running around people and cars and getting panicked. He tried to bite the man when he tried to contain him and wrestle him into the garden. Realistically, once there, the dog would have calmed down. Most dogs just don’t run out of the blue and attack without warning. Even in the saddest of cases where children have been mauled by dogs, it’s usually because they can’t read the dog’s warning behaviours that they are unhappy and need to be given space. It is very rare to just have a crazy dog that runs to attack. I get that some people are just scared of dogs and that is fair enough, but I doubt this dog represented genuine threat in her garden.

Ihaveabloodyheadache · 12/02/2019 10:34

How can you not know what's batshit aboutnit? How can you secure a large aggressive dog in a car? It could hurt itself. What was he supposed to do with it tied to a lead? Walk it to the nearest rescue centre?

Could have just as easily hurt itself in the garden seeing as he didn't know what was in there.

Deadringer · 12/02/2019 10:42

Yanbu op, and there are some crazy people on this thread.

Bloomini · 12/02/2019 10:47
honeylane · 12/02/2019 10:50

"What is wrong with you people? Shame on you for caring more about a growling dog with big teeth than a small, frightened elderly human."

Why are you ignoring the other consequences such as road traffic accidents or multiple people being attacked. Presumably she wouldn't be locked in her garden WITH the dog she would be safe inside her house.

peachsquish · 12/02/2019 11:06

Your neighbour wasn't being unreasonable.

Original poster
AuntieCJ · 12/02/2019 11:42

Consensus among them as know such things is it was a deer hound or lurcher, according to Sue in the post office. Quite a few people saw it around yesterday but it's disappeared now. It isn't a local dog (for local people) as no one recognised it.

It's thought it may have escaped from kennels a couple of miles away or it belongs to some Irish travellers who are camped illegally on the outskirts of the next village along.

Neighbour is still rattled at the cheek of the GF.

OP posts:
SaturdayNext · 12/02/2019 14:01

Dog in garden is more of a known risk - don’t go into garden till it’s gone

So how does that work in circumstances where, as was the case here, there is a passageway round to the back garden? How does the man know that there aren't children playing in the back, or maybe someone's cat or other pets? How the hell dare he decide that potentially putting small children in danger is a more acceptable risk?

What was he supposed to do with it tied to a lead? Walk it to the nearest rescue centre?

How about securing the other end so the dog couldn't escape till the RSPCA or a dog warden turned up?

2019Dancerz · 12/02/2019 15:05

I’m trying to picture the logistics of tying a dog up to something using a belt. A washing line maybe, but a belt? I would be nervous about tying anything not designed for that around the throat of an animal who might pull on it and choke. Hopefully one of the good Samaritans had been a scout/brownie and knew a few knots safe to use with a belt.

JocastaElastic · 12/02/2019 18:16

I think he was trying to do a public service, and you probably should have helped by letting him put the dog in your secure garden until someone could be found to take the dog away.

macblank · 12/02/2019 18:17

All these saying... No, she was right.

I hope your dog never gets out, and is running around scared. Bunch of cowards and NIMBYs

Pure case of, I don't give a fuck, not my dog, don't care. I bet you still insist you're an animal lover.

You put it in your car, he stopped so his fault. He obvs didn't want a strange dog loose in his car. I hope that dog never got run over.

I do t have a garden, as I live in a block of flats. However, if I did I'd definitely let a dog stay til the owner got there.

JocastaElastic · 12/02/2019 18:18

That is assuming your front garden is secure.....

Leapfrog44 · 12/02/2019 18:22

She sounds panicky, cruel and selfish. I'd have taken the dog in and then called a charity with SENSIBLE and caring people in to take it away. The dog was no doubt terrified by all the idiots flapping about. Some food and kind treatment would have calmed it down enough to deal with the situation rationally.

wLuytgNx · 12/02/2019 18:38

He is clearly trying to do the right thing and calm down the situation that was on the street. He removed the dog from harming itself or harming others and tried to keep it in a safe secure environment.

Neighbour should have gone into her house to keep herself safe whilst the dog was safe and secure in her garden until dog warden could arrive.

If your child was on the street and the dog was running wild and scared and might have attacked your child I'm sure you'd be pleading with this woman to just let the dog be secure in her garden!

HolesinTheSoles · 12/02/2019 18:44

I would have let the dog stay in my garden until the dog warden came (I just wouldn't go out there). It's a shame she couldn't allow the dog to stay there as he will probably now be injured and might cause a road traffic accident. Obviously the guy had no right to force her to keep the dog but it oukd have been the sensible and nice thing to do.

Ihaveabloodyheadache · 12/02/2019 18:47

I hope your dog never gets out, and is running around scared. Bunch of cowards and NIMBYs

I'd be out looking for my dog, or have them under control to start with. Accidents happen, of course they do but I'd be in touch with dog warden/local rescues/101 to ask if loose dog reported and give my details if not. Of course the owner may have done that. I certainly wouldn't expect someone who was unwilling or unable for whatever reason to take my dog in.

Pure case of, I don't give a fuck, not my dog, don't care. I bet you still insist you're an animal lover.

I am an animal lover, and I do care, that's why I'd report it to the right people instead of shoving it in a random garden and driving off again, putting the dog and unknown people at risk. If it was safe and I could I'd get hold of it, but I'm not risking myself, my DC and my dogs by tackling an unknown dog that's showing aggression. I'd report it to someone who knows what they're doing.

You put it in your car, he stopped so his fault. He obvs didn't want a strange dog loose in his car. I hope that dog never got run over.

I do t have a garden, as I live in a block of flats. However, if I did I'd definitely let a dog stay til the owner got there.

Yes, but that's with your knowledge. The whole point here is that he didn't ask the woman, she saw him trying to put the dog in her garden - without her knowledge or permission. What if she hasn't seen him? Then an elderly lady has an unknown and panicking dog in her garden, and she doesn't know about it! She can't avoid the garden, warn anyone or even ring anyone appropriate because she doesn't even know it's there! What if she'd had her own dog, or a cat? Could have been very nasty. Of course we don't know any of this but the whole point is neither did he - and that's why it's unreasonable because he had no idea of what repercussions there could have been, and as OP said he was going to drive off again, apparently didn't care either.

Anyone that can't see how that's unreasonable needs to get a grip really.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 12/02/2019 18:52

I would have been absolutely fuming if anyone had tried to take a strange dog and shove it in my garden. They absolutely have no right to do that without my permission. She was not being unreasonable at all. Not everyone loves animals, especially not huge, snarly, strange dogs.

EatShitBoswell · 12/02/2019 18:57

he tried to do a nice thing
Eh no, he was trying to force this woman's gate open and place a large dangerous dog in her garden.
He was continuing to try and force the gate despite being told no!
That is not a nice man. He should've just phoned the dog warden instead of frightening a strange woman.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 12/02/2019 19:02

Why ask AYBU and then add Not my neighbour ? You already made up your mind on that one .

BloodyHellBeryl · 12/02/2019 19:04

@Macblanc. I'm not an animal lover and I have never owned or desired to own a dog or any other animal.
And certainly NIMBY or front yard either.
As I said up thread if I wanted a dog pissing, shitting and generally wrecking my garden then I'd get a bloody dog of my own.
Get over it.