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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who was U here? Not my neighbour.

242 replies

AuntieCJ · 11/02/2019 14:29

On my way back down the lane earlier I found my neighbour of a few doors up involved in a nasty sounding argument with a man. She has a large front garden with high fences and gates. A man had been trying to push a large barking dog into her garden. He'd opened the gate to do so. She'd seen him and rushed out to see what he was doing.

The dog had been running up to people and barking and running into the road, narrowly avoiding being run over. The man had caught it by the collar and was trying to put it into neighbour's garden. It's not her dog and she didn't want it in her garden, it was very big and barky and I don't blame her.

The man tried to insist saying the dog could cause an accident or attack someone because it was panicking. She said to take it to his own house and keep it there. He said his garden wasn't secure like hers. She said that if he left the dog there she'd let it out the moment he'd gone. He doesn't live near us but had stopped his car to try to help and didn't want to put it in his car.

All the time he was trying to push the gate and force the dog into the garden. By this time it was snarling and growling and it tried to bite him. He let it go and it ran off. Imagine if it had been trapped in neighbour's garden in that mood. It was U of him to try to do that, wasn't it? If I'd have found that big angry dog in my garden I'd have been frightened as was my neighbour.

OP posts:
Jaxhog · 11/02/2019 20:05

He may have wanted to put it in the garden so that he could ring the dog warden and then wait for them to arrive. It's not as though he could put a snaring dog in his car or hold it the whole time. Lots of heartless people on this thread.

He couldn't put a snarling dog in his car, but it was ok to put it into an elderly ladies garden against her wishes? Really?

honeylane · 11/02/2019 20:07

If there were children or animals in the garden she would have said so. So there weren't.

You and your neighbour were being unreasonable and I sincerely hope I don't have people like you in my community. "It's not my problem" is such a rotten attitude to have. It wasn't the mans problem either but he was trying to help.

Poor dog may have been lashing out because it was lost and scared. Now it's probably gone for good and won't make it through the night. Or could attack someone else.

Jaxhog · 11/02/2019 20:09

To those people who think its acceptable to shove a large, possibly dangerous and violent dog into someone else's garden, where would you draw the line then? Suppose there were no gardens. Would you be happy for a stranger to shove it inside your house? Of course you wouldn't!

Original poster
AuntieCJ · 11/02/2019 20:17

The man wasn't trying to help. He was trying to dump the problem on an elderly lady. To say she was unreasonable not to want a possibly dangerous dog loose in her garden for an indefinite period is just stupid.

Only on Mumsnet. Grin

OP posts:
Walkaround · 11/02/2019 20:18

@Dragongirl10 - I seriously doubt the dog was agressive and angry until a stranger grabbed hold of it and tried to shove it into a strange garden - and if it was, then someone who could deal with it should have been contacted. Only an utter idiot would grab a violent dog they could not deal with properly themselves and then try to force it into an unknown, enclosed space containing they knew not what. A dog that is free to run where it wants is far safer than a dog that thinks it is trapped and has to attack to escape the situation.

Walkaround · 11/02/2019 20:20

(Which is why fuckwit man didn't want the dog in his car... no problem if it tears up a stranger's garden, of course...)

Booboostwo · 11/02/2019 20:23

I once found a loose horse, should I have stuck him in someone’s garden and walked away?

(I walked the horse back the lane until we found the rider who, luckily, was Ok.)

BloodyHellBeryl · 11/02/2019 20:32

I wouldn't have let him put it in my garden either.
If i wanted a dog wrecking my garden while it's pissing and shitting all over it I would get one of my own!
As for upset families, well, they should have taken more care of it. If that dog caused an accident, then I hope they come down on the owner's like a ton of bricks.
I'm with the neighbour on this one.

Aridane · 11/02/2019 20:38

He tried to do a good, brave and logical thing and contain Cujo

AnyFarrahFowler · 11/02/2019 20:41

I would have done the same as your neighbour - refuse the dog entry, and/or threaten to let it out once the guy left.

Walkaround · 11/02/2019 20:42

He was not logical at all - he knew nothing about the situation he was trying to throw the dog into. He was reckless and thoughtless. If you cannot deal with an animal appropriately, then don't rile the animal and then shove it at someone else, because you entirely wrongly think you are being "brave", not a thoughtless, reckless idiot.

Belenus · 11/02/2019 20:46

He said his garden wasn't secure like hers. She said that if he left the dog there she'd let it out the moment he'd gone. He doesn't live near us but had stopped his car to try to help and didn't want to put it in his car.

Neither of them is covering themselves in glory, although you've already made your mind up, OP. A large, frightened dog confined in the small space of a car is potentially dangerous. In a garden it will be less so. A large dog loose on the road is definitely dangerous - so much so that police officers have told me that it is actually worthy of a 999 call because people will swerve to avoid larger animals and can cause accidents.

He was unreasonable to palm the problem off but he was right to try to get the dog off the road.

The thing is, unless someone steps up and says "OK, I'll deal with this" we all sit around like numpties. Any stray animals, I try to help them out, for their safety and that of others. And that includes helping farmers round up stray cattle, which are not my favourite things, especially when they stampede.

needmorespace · 11/02/2019 20:48

The man wasn't trying to help. He was trying to dump the problem on an elderly lady. To say she was unreasonable not to want a possibly dangerous dog loose in her garden for an indefinite period is just stupid

So what exactly is your AIBU? You are convinced your neighbour wnbu so I don't understand the point of the question

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 11/02/2019 20:58

There is no way in hell I would've let that dog in my garden. I have found two lost dogs previously,and after risk assessing myself that they were ok,brought them in,gave them water and then had them reunited with their owners.
A snarling,biting,aggressive dog that was just being shoved in by some random stranger ? No way.

hastingsmua1 · 11/02/2019 21:05

He stopped being helpful when he continued to force the dog into her garden after your neighbour refused.

Wedgiecar58 · 11/02/2019 21:06

Your neighbour is unreasonable.

Man saw a loose dog almost getting hit by cars and tried to get it into a secure place, out of harms way.

Neighbour got on the defence because she didn’t want to wait 30 mins for a dog warden to come and collect it.

I tell you what, as a dog owner myself, I would be grateful to the man for helping, NOT your neighbour threatening to let it back out as soon as he was gone. If the dog was involved in a collision and harm was caused to the animal or people in the vehicle(s), that would be her fault!

Wedgiecar58 · 11/02/2019 21:06

vicious beast

😂😂 Classic MN dog haters!

Ofalltheginjoints · 11/02/2019 21:13

I don’t suppose your in the North East OP? A local dog has gone missing and he’s quite big but terrified of strange people so may have acted in that way?

He should’ve have tried to dump the dog in your neighbours garden, if he truely wanted to help he could’ve took dog to local vets

SoupDragon · 11/02/2019 21:21

Neighbour got on the defence because she didn’t want to wait 30 mins for a dog warden to come and collect it.

The man wasn't going to call the dog warden, he was just shoving it in her garden and the OP says their dog warden is "not know for her speed".

You'd be happy to have "a massive dog that was snarling and growling and tried to bite a grown man" loose in your garden for an unspecified length of time? I wouldn't and I am a dog owner. Especially as it would mean being unable to leave the house.

As for your ridicule of the term "vicious beast", what would you call a huge snarling dog? I think vicious beast pretty much covers it.

crazycatgal · 11/02/2019 22:06

@Wedgiecar58 I wouldn't have had the dog in my garden and I have a dog myself. This isn't 'classic MN dog haters.'

PinaColada1 · 12/02/2019 00:16

But you all act as if it was the man’s problem!

It wasn’t his dog. The dog could have caused an accident. I assume it was pretty clear it was a near, secure, empty garden.

At least he did act.

Which is a hell of a lot more than your neighbour.

HeathRobinson · 12/02/2019 03:15

I think the neighbour acted, PinaColada. She acted in a timely manner to stop some loon dumping a big, snarly dog in her garden.

mediumbrownmug · 12/02/2019 04:00

I've been an animal lover all my life, but this man WBU. I am young, but have hip replacements, joint issues, various health issues, a small dog with access to the garden and a toddler. While generally I love to help out, I'm also fully aware of my own physical limitations and would flat-out refuse to allow this to happen in my garden for safety and liability reasons. Nor would I feel impelled to explain the whole of my medical history to a stranger as justification.

For all those saying the dog "needed" to be restrained and therefore this woman HAD to be the one to do it - there are many things in life that need doing that I don't take personal responsibility for. And, I suspect, the same is true for these posters as well.

TheSerenDipitY · 12/02/2019 04:19

i agree she was not unreasonable
he was passing the buck in the guise of being a "do gooder"
leaving an elderly woman with a possibly aggressive and agitated large dog is a disaster waiting to happen

Bellasorellaa · 12/02/2019 04:21

If it was in her garden she simply call the rspca to come get it.
Hardly rocket science