AIBU to tell it to my DD as it is?

[mioko]

DD is 15, and is applying for sixth form. She wants to be a surgeon, and has for a long time. She wants to do biology, chemistry and maths. The only problem is that I don't believe she's smart enough to go down this route. I've gently tried to push her more towards nursing, but she's adamant. She only got a 3 in her science mocks, and a 4 in maths. In my head, this just doesn't seem enough. My son is currently in uni doing veterinary medicine, and he got all A's in his GCSES. I don't want to be absolutely awful and tell my daughter she 'isn't good enough' to achieve her dreams, but I really don't want her to be let down. Should I just tell her?

If she's getting 3s, is she even going to sit the higher paper? Does she enjoy maths and science?

Do you know any older kids who can earn her that 3/4 months seems ages away but it's really not very long at all? Ds started revising for GCSEs in March 🤦🏻‍♀️ and regrets underestimating things massively. He's pretty lazy at A level work but even he started working at Xmas for exams this summer.

I would personally focus on the next step. You need a 7 for A level biology sort of talk. It sounds unlikely that she'll go to medical school and become a surgeon but if she's keen there's loads of other medical related careers that she could consider.

If she's keen on the industry then she needs to start organising summer holiday work for this summer. Has she done this yet?

Please don't see nursing as a lesser option. It's a career on its own right and not for people who weren't good enough to be doctors. It's the best job ever!

Nursing is very much a vocation and has to be done out of love for the job. Else you just can't do it's

As I think a couple of people have already mentioned, she needs really good GCSE grades to get called for interview for most medical courses. So I'd use that in the first instance - ideally via school careers advisors if available, but just say to her, if you want to do medicine your GCSE results will actually matter, up to you now ...

Good luck, sounds stressful.

Maybe get her to do a vision board for the year. So by the end of 2019 she wants her grades to be ..., she wants to have had a summer job..., just fun things she wants to do. Break down her long time goals into short term ones and work backwards. She wants to be a surgeon? Great. You need these grades. How do you get them? Revise and plan. Get her to watch ted talks on motivation, revision and by surgeons. For the next week (that’s a rabbit hole you can fall down) then get her to write a revision plan and enable her to stick to it. So provide her with the books and quiet space she needs. Then it’s on her.