To ask to much you drink when in charge of your child?

[meow1989]

Just wondered as to what everyone's idea of a sensible limit is?

If DH is drinking a couple of beers I'll tend not to, but tonight fancied a glass of prosecco (home measure so about 200ml). Had poured myself another but then put it back as I didn't have dinner (big lunch) and we have a 7 month old DS.

My thinking is if I need to I'll be able drive if I absolutely needed to and I'll wake easily if DS does (still in our room, sleeps through except for dummy wakes, only cosleep in morning after 6.30 bottle).

DH doesn't necessarily think like this and didn't see anything wrong with us both having a second (absolutely amicable brief conversation as to why I put mine back) so I'm just curious as to what everyone else sets as their limit?

I drank alcohol solely because I was in charge of young children

This "oh but you might need to drive in an emergency" is such a red herring.

I have three kids - 16, 14 and 9. That's almost a combined 40 years of them being on this earth. Not once have we needed to make a last minute, unpredicted dash to hospital. The youngest was admitted a few times with breathing issues as a toddler but it didn't happen in five seconds flat, you could see he was going downhill and would potentially need admitted.

We're not drinking every night - last time I had a drink was Hogmanay. But it's ridiculous to state that at least one parent must remain sober at all times just in case.

I have a pair of friends who are regularly drunk around their young kids, the 5 year old has told me he finds it scary when mummy and daddy 'act funny'. There have been accidents involving guests needing medical attention, weeknight sessions that get so loud that the kids are woken up multiple times and hangovers so bad that the older child has had to persuade his parents to take him to school as the school run seems too arduous.

Clearly that's an extreme example, but it doesn't seem frowned upon which strikes me as so odd.

Honestly why are people talking drunkenness and hangovers?! Get a grip! I haven't been drunk for years, couldn't even say when. You do realise it is perfectly possible to have a glass of wine on the weekend without getting drunk, someone mentioned age, surely at your mature age you realise drink doesn't have to mean getting drunk.

Thinking about it, I have spent a night in A&E with my two dc on about five occasions (teens now.) Probably about normal?

I drive to the pub next to the hospital and leave the kids asleep in the car while I go in and get off my face. Then if anything happens we're right next to the hospital. Win-win.

Jeez, feeling like a bad mother here! DP and I will have a beer/glass of wine and a few gin and tonics most nights (not great for health I know!) But, we never go out in the evenings. We think it's more important that DS (9mo) has his routine, and we take it in turns to go out with friends occasionally. Neither of us get shit faced when we go out on these occasions. I'm massively paranoid about being able to recognise if DS is not well and respond appropriately. If I start to feel a bit tipsy I stop drinking.

On two occasions we've had DP Mum stay over whilst we've gone for a night out, and we have gotten drunk, because his DM is in charge of him.

Imo, as long as you can recognise and handle an emergency safely, and can call a taxi or friends/family for a lift to hospital if needed then I see no issue. When DS has been very poorly and we're not sure whether we might need to go out of hours/a and e then we don't drink.

Not sure if that makes me insanely irresponsible, or just a bad mother who doesn't put her child first because alcohol is obviously more important!

When I started having a drink again after stopping BF I didn't stop quickly enough on one or two occasions and felt a bit funny and just told DP if he woke in the night he would have to deal with him. Hasn't happened since, now I'm not a ridiculous lightweight.

OP, I wouldn't beat yourself up or worry about having a drink in the evening. Being a parent is bloody hard work, and it's a weird adjustment not being able to just go out in the evenings (at least it is for us). I personally think a few drinks in the evening is not an issue, so long as you're able to deal with an emergency safely.

Saying all that, I'm looking forward to longer evenings and nicer weather when we can hopefully go for walks of an evening when DS is a bit older. 9 months of Netflix is getting a bit boring!

I have three kids - 16, 14 and 9. That's almost a combined 40 years of them being on this earth. Not once have we needed to make a last minute, unpredicted dash to hospital.

I don't see anything wrong with parents having a drink, but what on earth does almost 40 years have to do with anything?

The only relevant figure is, at most, 16 years.

Ah, I see, you mean 40 years of a kid's life of not needing to be rushed to hospital. Not years of your martyring yourself.

Apologies. I'm the wrong side of a few Asahi Super Dry beers.

Repeating others but genuinely believe lots of replies on here are utter lies.

When children were very young very little. Now they are older/teens much more relaxed. We never ever drink to excess though. I would never want dc to see either parent drunk for instance. Odd glass of wine and odd G&T every now and then seems fine.

Absolutely nothing. I haven't drunk since the day I found out I was pregnant 12 years ago. I will never drink again - life is so much better without it.

The only other people to look after my children are my parents who both don't drink and my DH who does have a beer every now and then but wouldn't if he was the sole parent at home with the DC.

None. Stopped drinking years ago when I became a LP. And since I have had to deal with middle of the night emergencies on 3 separate occasions I'm very glad I was stone cold sober on those nights as 2 of those were breathing difficulties/obstructions which required quick decisive action that couldn't have waited on an ambulance, and I'm not sure I would even have woken if I'd had a few drinks. Nothing to do with having to drive.

One small glass wine.

Having had to do hospital runs with my ex’s daughter when he was too drunk to focus, I’m pretty careful.

I don't drink these days - I went teetotal last year, but before then I'd usually have a bottle of wine on a Friday night and probably another bottle and a few rum and cokes most Saturdays. Then a couple of glasses of red with Sunday lunch. My kids are now 8 and 11.

I thought it was fine and I would go so far as I say that I was probably a better (or more relaxed) parent when I'd had a drink. Pretty sure I would have been able to cope with any proper emergencies, had they arisen. There was one time my partner and I forgot our Easter bunny duties because we'd had friends round for drinks. I woke bolt upright at 4am in a panic, made my partner get up, and spent what felt like an eternity miserably shambling around the house in the dark, hiding several dozen small chocolate eggs and weeping. That was probably the most stressful alcohol related parenting emergency. Though there was another time when I had to assemble a Sylvanian Families house and accoutrements the night before Christmas, after a bottle of cava and a joint.

But as I say, I don't drink now. My partner has maybe 2-3 beers a night Friday through Sunday, and he seems no different after those then at any other time.

If DH is out then I might have one glass of wine or a gin and lemonade. That's it.

If we are both in, then we might occasionally share a bottle of fizz.

But then neither of us are big drinkers since DD was born. We can both go weeks without booze.

But then again, if we are out out ( either solo with friends or when DD is at her grandparents' for the odd weekend) then we can happily get sozzled bit tbh we tend to still not to bother because we are so knackered

Argh. Strike through failure.

I have never been able to drive (visual impairnment) so that consideration doesn't come in to it. Nothing could be more unsafe than travelling in a car driven by me. So taxis have to be called.

My line has always been:

not to an extent where it might impair my judgment and make me unable to cope with an emergency

not to an extent where it might frighten or embarrass the child (and mine have always been light sleepers so very high chance they would notice)

Dh and I would share a bottle of wine, but often over 2 nights.

I drive to the pub next to the hospital and leave the kids asleep in the car while I go in and get off my face. Then if anything happens we're right next to the hospital. Win-win.

Brilliant 🤣🤣

I drink wine at the weekends. Probably a bottle over two nights. I’m never drunk and if there was an emergency I’d call a taxi! Plenty of people don’t drive or own a car!
We had family over for New Year’s Eve and all the children stayed up (all under 12). We were drinking but no one was shitfaced.

Have just read a book called ‘why mummy drinks’ and love ‘time for gin’ on Facebook. There’s obviously a kinship in having a drink! All my friends enjoy a drink at the weekends. I think the people on this thread who never drink are at the extreme end of the spectrum or lying!

And to the PP who tried to scaremonger with SS. If you turned up to hospital on a Saturday night and smelt of alcohol and explained u had had a couple of glasses of wine SS would not be remotely interested!

I think the people on this thread who never drink are at the extreme end of the spectrum or lying

Seriously? Read that comment and ask yourself whether it’s really reasonable.

I have no reason to lie. I just very, very rarely drink. I think I had a glass of wine at Christmas, time before that was a glass at an event in July. Why would not drinking be an indicator one is on the spectrum?

There’s a bizarre reaction to people who don’t drink from people who try and force you to those who are aghast that you don’t.

I’ve never been a drinker, I don’t think I have missed out in any way!

The only people I allow to look after my kids are drunk babysitters.

Usually about a bottle of wine, maybe a bottle and a half on a Friday & Saturday. DH is the same. Never to the point where we couldn't function in an emergency.

To be fair, I fall asleep at about 8:30 pm regardless of alcohol intake thanks to a week of ridiculously stupid early rises, and I'm impossible to wake up even when stone cold sober, so even in a middle of the night emergency I'd probably call a cab because I don't trust myself to drive when tired/at night.

When DS broke his leg when he was 2 (DH wasn't home) I took a cab to the hospital because I was shaking too much to drive from nerves and I wanted to be next to him. This whole, in case of emergency, thing is a bit strange and something I've only encountered on MN.

I think the people on this thread who never drink are at the extreme end of the spectrum or lying

Erm. Wtf?