To ask to much you drink when in charge of your child?

[meow1989]

Just wondered as to what everyone's idea of a sensible limit is?

If DH is drinking a couple of beers I'll tend not to, but tonight fancied a glass of prosecco (home measure so about 200ml). Had poured myself another but then put it back as I didn't have dinner (big lunch) and we have a 7 month old DS.

My thinking is if I need to I'll be able drive if I absolutely needed to and I'll wake easily if DS does (still in our room, sleeps through except for dummy wakes, only cosleep in morning after 6.30 bottle).

DH doesn't necessarily think like this and didn't see anything wrong with us both having a second (absolutely amicable brief conversation as to why I put mine back) so I'm just curious as to what everyone else sets as their limit?

To be honest I've never even thought about it. It's not like I sit around my house getting pissed out of my head. A few glasses of wine is fine and if for some reason I needed to get somewhere I would get an Uber. Seems very over the top to me to make such a big deal about it.

1 glass of wine
1 330ml cider
1 jd and coke

Either of these.

My kids were little a long time ago. But I was a young mum and single parent. I didn’t drink at home but once a month I’d get a baby sitter and go clubbing. And yes, I would usually end up hammered! (The friend I used to go with was also a single mum). The only issue I ever faced was dealing with two toddlers at 7am with a raging hangover! Had one of them been ill the evening before then I simply wouldn’t have gone out.

I do think sometimes on MN that some parents are raising their kids in this sort of bubble, where no one drinks or does anything “unhealthy”. Sugar is equivalent to crack cocaine. Water is everyone’s drink of choice. I’ve never met anyone in RL that acts that way and I’ve been on this earth for nearly half a century! I’ve also met people from many different walks of life, both through my job and moving around a lot. So it’s not that I’ve just lived in one town and only ever known one group of people. Even my auntie and uncle who were always super healthy and refused to have a TV in their home when their kids were small, enjoyed a cannabis beer from time to time (legal in their country). I think there’s a lot of virtue signalling on MN.

I think there’s a lot of virtue signalling on MN

Is not drinking really seen as virtue signalling?

How odd!

Honestly? I don’t think about it. Sometimes me and DH will share a bottle of wine or two.

If there is a real emergency- there’s Uber or a taxi. If it was a genuine health emergency I would be ringing an ambulance regardless of being sober or not!

*Is not drinking really seen as virtue signalling?

How odd*

It's not the "not drinking" though is it, it's the reasons people have given for not drinking. And the fact they seem pretty out of step or reality for most people.

Are people this strict on holiday? At Christmas? At weddings? I mean, maybe they are but if someone said "oh I'd love a drink but I've got kids" I would think they were pretty odd.

To clarify if it hasn’t, I believe when the poster stated that the other was on the lower end of the spectrum she meant on the lower end of the drinking spectrum. Nothing to do with Autism, but between the drinking spectrum of drinking until blotto and teetotal. Spectrum can be used in multiple ways although these days most people associate it solely with Autism.

My drinking, when I was with my ex I would drink more. Some wine or a cider here or there with him or with dinner. Not excessively but to tipsy and occasionally more. One of us would usually be able to drive as although we live in the city the hospital is 20 minutes drive. Transit here is not feasible to take, Taxie price is unreasonable and they would laugh at us if we called an Amy because we couldn’t drive our child due to being intoxicated. SS would be definitely called. We are Canadian and alcohol consumption is looked at differently!

It is way more uptight here for sure. If someone talked about drinking as much as some on the thread there may he talks of interventions etc. It is a way different mentality. It is what it is.

I am a single mom and have been since my boys were 2 & 4. Due to medication and health issues I am not a heavy drinker. If I know they are healthy and well I will drink in front of them. A glass of wine, a cider or so. If I have a designated driver maybe a bit more. I don’t enjoy it as much as I used to as I am almost guaranteed a migraine after:(

I do go out with friends on occasion when they are with their dad and have a blow out.

I think it’s up to whatever you are comfortable with. Drink if you want, go teetotal. Just make sure you have a plan should something happen so when and if it does you know what to do. It’s more the panic that sets in wether you are impaired or not when there is an emergency. Knowing what to do and having a semi-plan prior is important.

In the past few months I have had to go to the hospital with my youngest many times. Due to this I won’t drink. My parents come pick up my oldest. If I had a drink, I wouldn’t do anything different. It’s a call to 911 for us and then my parents.

I admit, here they may look at you if you show up with alcohol on your breath depending on the circumstances. Or if you are impaired by drugs. It’s just a different social culture.

Nothing! I can't Just incase. I couldn't live with myself if something happened and I couldn't drive for help due to me Drinking!
Each to they're own though!

I wish I knew you people in real life!

Me too. Handy for when I’m too pissed to drive to hospital.

'None, because i like to have all my faculties intact when looking after what is essentially the most important thing in the world to me' - is most definitely virtue signalling - it implies the ones who drink are bad parents

We are Canadian and alcohol consumption is looked at differently! It is way more uptight here for sure. If someone talked about drinking as much as some on the thread there may he talks of interventions etc. It is a way different mentality. It is what it is.

I'm Canadian and have to disagree with you completely. If anything the attitude on Mumsnet about drinking is FAAARRRRRR more uptight than anything I've come across in Canada. The idea that anyone would give up their Friday night happy hours because of a possible emergency trip to the hospital is beyond laughable.

SS would be definitely called.

My parents were foster parents for 2 decades when I was growing up and a young adult. Believe me, SS would not be called in Canada because someone had a few drinks and took their kid to the hospital in a cab/ambulance.

None, because i like to have all my faculties intact when looking after what is essentially the most important thing in the world to me

I prefer to have my faculties as blurry as possible when taking care of my kids so that I can get through the whole experience without losing my sanity. ;)

Nothing. If DH is drinking, I don’t and vice versa. After having 5 DDs in relatively quick succession I’m used to no alcohol and don’t mind at all so usually it’s me not having a glass of wine etc.

Kokeshi, I hear you I find I’m a better evening mum with a glass of wine in me. I’m sure that makes me a scumbag mum to some on here but alcohol does take the edge off the exhaustion and frustration of dealing with a pack of feral babies.

Just to follow up on that, I only have that glass of wine once every 3-4 weeks so it’s not a nightly thing, though it probably should be!