To ask to much you drink when in charge of your child?

[meow1989]

Just wondered as to what everyone's idea of a sensible limit is?

If DH is drinking a couple of beers I'll tend not to, but tonight fancied a glass of prosecco (home measure so about 200ml). Had poured myself another but then put it back as I didn't have dinner (big lunch) and we have a 7 month old DS.

My thinking is if I need to I'll be able drive if I absolutely needed to and I'll wake easily if DS does (still in our room, sleeps through except for dummy wakes, only cosleep in morning after 6.30 bottle).

DH doesn't necessarily think like this and didn't see anything wrong with us both having a second (absolutely amicable brief conversation as to why I put mine back) so I'm just curious as to what everyone else sets as their limit?

And yes we've also had friends over and got quite drunk while the kids are in bed. Tbh that has never seemed taboo in my family or friendship group.

I drink moderately, like everyone else I know.

Such a hoity toity teetotal answer.

Sounds like someone’s touched a nerve!

Someone said it was unrealistic to avoid drinking unless your kids are at a sleepover - it’s really not. You just don’t drink. Alcohol isn’t a necessity. I’m not teetotal, I have a drink occasionally but it’s not a requirement.

200ml is a massive amount to drive after. You would be well over the limit.

Tbf I have never told anyone in real life that I don’t drink at home any more.

Counting down the days …. youngest is 18 next month …… I can drink again

What a strange thread! We've always got together with friends at weekends and had a few drinks whilst the kids played together, didn't enter our heads that one of them might need to go to A&E and if they did we'd call a cab. You can't put your life on hold for 'what ifs'

When my little one was same age as yours I probably thought the same, was paranoid about her being poorly etc. Now 7 years on I will happily knock back a bottle of wine and have done for a fair few years. If the kids are poorly I wouldn't but you can't live your life thinking "what if".

I’m not really a big drinker anyway so none most of the time. I will have a couple of drinks at Christmas or my birthday. Occasionally DP and I have a date night where we’ll both have a few drinks but DC are being looked after by GP’s.

New year's eve I serve lemonade to my guests. Alcohol shall not be consumed under my roof until each and every one of my kids turns 18.

As much as possible....I find it helps.

And I thought I was catastrophiser.....

Never drunk at home when the kids little.
All adult now.
Few years back. My daughter said to me :
'Mum, thank-you for not drinking when we were little'

Don't really know where this came from.
All she would say was that for some of her adult friends that was not the case

I will have a maximum of two bottles of cider, so four units. I'm a lightweight though and burned myself filling hot water bottles after said cider. From now on if I've been drinking then that's my 12 year old's job. I wouldn't want more than that as I'd want to be able to at least pass as sober in an emergency. A bottle of wine is about 10 units isn't it?!

I haven't read the full thread. I am a nanny and over the years I've done plenty of ad hoc babysitting. 9 times out of 10, the parents are going out and take a taxi because they are drinking. Sometimes they come back quite merry, other times they don't. It's completely normal in my circle!

I've been really drunk in the past on a night out and then managed to reign it in and sober up really quickly when a man got knocked over from walking in front of a car. Your brain just allows you to focus.

Maybe these people who don't drink don't get that but plenty of us do!

Such a hoity toity teetotal answer

Such a knee jerk answer from someone who didn’t read the rest of my post.

Touched a nerve maybe?

Haven't read full thread but ... I can't believe people live like this. Surely it's like living in wait of an emergency?

If my DD is even remotely unwell I wouldn't drink a drop, incase I'm needed to drive. Etc

Otherwise my DH and I have no babysitters and haven't been out in 6 years! Yes we share a bottle of wine on a Saturday! DD in bed settled..... (I'm pregnant right now so obv this doesn't apply to right now)

Robin I think the trick is never letting your kids see you drunk. As you say, that’s not the case in many families. But that’s the aim in ours.

How do all of you who never drink in case of the need for an a&e trip live with that level of fear and catastrophising?! I honestly can't understand it.

Obviously, both me and dh being completely shitfaced isn't a great idea, but i don't live my life preparing constantly for the absolute worst case scenario that is also most unlikely. I know lots and lots of people who have had to take dc to a&e at night, myself included, but in every case I am aware of it's been much earlier and/Or following some warning. E.g. dc temperature is high. Give Calpol etc but parents monitor very carefully as concerned. Vomiting starts at 1030 and odd you go to a&e (Ie you wouldn't have been drinking because you knew the dc was sick). Or, an accident before bed. Etc.

Also, you have to be very drunk to be unable to make decisions about your child's care.

If course, this mindset clearly reflects nothing of my reality. Discussions 're the need for a glass of wine or invites to dinner , with wine, are plentiful in my social circle.

I drink whatever. I very, very rarely get drunk as I hate that feeling but I would regularly be over the driving limit - when I say regularly, I mean at the weekend. I don't drink on work nights as a general rule. For several years when DD was small, DH didn't drive. Should I never gave had a drink? If urgent thing happened, I would get a taxi or a neighbour. If emergency happened, ambulance. Unless there are other concerns about your parenting, SS have better things to be worried about than parents who've had a bottle of Malbec with a takeaway watching X factor on a Saturday night.

Also, laughing at the idea of couples taking it in turns to have a drink. Sounds so dull I see absolutely no point. I wouldn’t want to enjoy a nice glass of something with my dinner whilst watching poor dh have a cup of tea. FFS.

sinkgirl I didn’t say that at all. Read my post properly.

I don't like being drunk around kids, it's unsettling and just a bit odd.

Neither of us really drink, we may have one g&t or wine at the weekend but that's about it.

I don’t get this thread at all.

I don’t not drink alcohol solely because I’m in charge of two young children, I’m just not that arsed about drinking at home.

If I go out I drink. My children sleepover at their grandparents. If I drink at home I fall asleep in front of the TV, have a shit nights sleep and wake up with a headache at 6am when my kids get up. Honestly, I don’t need a glass of wine that much.

@slcol who said anything about being drunk? I totally agree, but having a glass of wine or 2 won't make (the majority of people) drunk

It’s not living in dread and fear of something happening. For me it’s thinking, I won’t bother, it’s not worth it. Partly not wanting to be in charge of children on my own drunk and partly not coping with the hangovers. It’s not such a strange idea if so many posters say the same.

For me it is also part of getting older I think. I used to lose whole weekends to alcohol pre-dc and think it was funny. I can’t do that now nor would I want to.