To ask to much you drink when in charge of your child?

[meow1989]

Just wondered as to what everyone's idea of a sensible limit is?

If DH is drinking a couple of beers I'll tend not to, but tonight fancied a glass of prosecco (home measure so about 200ml). Had poured myself another but then put it back as I didn't have dinner (big lunch) and we have a 7 month old DS.

My thinking is if I need to I'll be able drive if I absolutely needed to and I'll wake easily if DS does (still in our room, sleeps through except for dummy wakes, only cosleep in morning after 6.30 bottle).

DH doesn't necessarily think like this and didn't see anything wrong with us both having a second (absolutely amicable brief conversation as to why I put mine back) so I'm just curious as to what everyone else sets as their limit?

We'll have one or two but we would not drive in case of emergency we'd get a black cab.

Also I agree the main thing is not to do with driving but the fact we remain in a fit state to properly care for our children.

Nothing.

For those saying just get a taxi - we are rural, It is near on impossible for us to get a taxi without an hour wait on a normal day, we would never get one on a Friday or Saturday night.

I changed my drinking habits after children. I barely drink at all these days. I was more aware of having to be sensible when I became a single parent. Plus my dc hated the smell of wine if there was ever a family birthday or something.

By the time I put them to bed I am not interested. Also I feel fresher and clearer headed in the morning these days.

I think it depends on the age of your children!

If you have babies in the house then yes I can understand, I think I was like that too.

But teens/pre teens?

that stage of parenting without a couple of glasses of wine of an evening.....

I sometimes have one whisky after my son has gone to bed. I suppose I could have more but he's still a bad sleeper and I don't want to mess with my sleep too much. I can't drive anyway so don't have that to worry about. 😅

These threads never reflect my reality. All the couples I know drink occasionally at home. We sometimes spend NYE at the house of another couple. All four of us have (quite) a few drinks to see in the new year once the children are in bed. One of the other couple is a paediatric consultant.

I can sleep very heavily after even 1 beer so I usually avoid if I'm on my own

I don’t particulalry drink full stop, never have done.

Not from any thoughts about what might go wrong, just because I’m not interested in doing so.

What do people do if they have a night out?

Pubs/clubs have this amazing capacity to serve a soft drink.

There seems to be some confusion over having a glass or 2 of wine or a couple of beers being different to being totally shitfaced that you can't function properly. In the first instance i would imagine 99% of parents would be able to look after their children quite efficiently and adequately, and get them to hospital safely in the very unlikely event of an emergency. Scenario 2 is different. Like i said in a pp, this has never crossed my mind until i read parenting forums. I don't drink during the week, DH does, i might have wine at weekend, i havent the faintest idea if there are ubers where i live or how much it would cost to get to tje hospital.

I agree with FrameyMcFrame, & think it depends on the age of the children. Mine are 8 & 11.

The replies are also not reflective of my life.

I & my group of friends will drink at the weekend. My husband & I will share a bottle of wine on a Friday & another one on a Saturday. I don’t want to drink during the week anyway.

My husband did want to open another bottle last night, but my daughter had a friend over so I felt one of us should stop there. It felt worse drinking whilst looking after another child somehow.

My friends drink similar amounts.

As much as I want to be honest. I’ve naturally cut out nearly all drinking due to tiredness and learning how desperate it is to have a hangover looking after 3-4 preschoolers but there’s been occasions I’ve come home drunk, DH too, and taken over from the babysitter. Nothing sobers you up like having to get up 20mins after going to sleep pretty drunk to mind a baby for an hour! If there was an emergency we’d get a taxi or lots of family live nearby. And weirdly even with drink on me I wake with every noise unlike DH, though even on a normal night he wouldn’t hear everything. But it’s naturally very very rare these days.

I have literally no shame whatsoever about it. I only know if one person who doesn’t drink because she’s in charge of a now 9 year old. Everyone else o know drinks what they like, to tipsy and beyond. Though again, nobody around me is much of a big drinker so it’s rare to see anyone having more than a few glasses of wine/champagne etc.

Oh and to the poster above, I’d not drink much at all if we had someone elses child stay. As I think you really need your wits about you to deal with a potentially homesick 5 yr old.

Yes of course! I'm not talking about vodka shots or getting sh*tfaced, but yes dh and i will on the weekend have a couple of beers each or a bottle of wine over dinner (not beers and wine together!) This does not impair our ability to look after our child! But we live in London and don't have a car, so drinking or no drinking we wouldn't be required to drive anywhere.

We don't get drunk but neither my husband or I have a 'limit' because children are there. Generally one or two glasses of wine but we've hosted dinner parties when the children have been asleep and drunk a lot more. Even if they're not there I don't drink so much I can't deal with an emergency as I don't like the feeling (either at the time or the next day!).

If there was an emergency I'd call an ambulance/taxi/friend to help depending on the circumstances. The only time we've ever been caught out was well before children when our dog needed an emergency vet appointment and we'd both had a drink.

I don’t drink at home - I don’t drive so that’s not a factor. Getting up in the night to take care of my twins is considerably more difficult if I’ve been drinking so I don’t do it.

It also crosses my mind that something could happen to me if I drank too much at home (single parent.) A friend of mine fell down the stairs and broke her wrist when her children were in bed. Plus I am always prone to falling over on a rare night out.

Not sure I could have got through my many years of child rearing without a drink!

I’ve just been at a 40th where a lot of school mum and dad friends were there, all drinking and their kids all at home with a babysitter. Including me and dh. I’ve never really met people who refrain from drinking completely because of the kids. Does this mean you only ever have a drink when the kids are on a sleepover? Seems unreal to me
And I’m not a huge drinker, I just don’t think it’s realistic

We share a bottle of wine at the weekend. So I'll have 3 glasses. DH has more, a few beers etc. I don't have more, so I'm the responsible adult.

I wouldn't drive after drinking at all, so like pp said it'd be a taxi, or ambulance in a genuine emergency.

It depends on your alcohol tolerance. Some people have a couple of glasses of wine and become rather drunk, others can drink a lot more.

With a newborn, I have always been cautious and would never have more than one. Once they start going to bed at a certain time and sleeping better, I would drink more. Once they sleep through and very rarely wake up, would feel comfortable having more still. So that’s my range, but I would never get so drunk that I wouldn’t wake up if needed or couldn’t deal with a vomiting episode etc. I don’t see the need to stay sober enough to drive as you can always take a taxi somewhere if necessary. Most of my friends, all respectable professionals, are the same give or take. Most people know their limits and can stay within them by the time they have children.

Pubs/clubs have this amazing capacity to serve a soft drink

Such a hoity toity teetotal answer.

We'd get a taxi if there was an emergency. Obviously we'd make sure one of us wasn't too drunk to function. My dh doesn't really drink at home anyway. Unless your child is already poorly then I don't think you should worry too much about emergencies.

Such a MN thing. I have never ever met someone in RL who doesn’t drink or limits what they drink at home when in charge of their children in case of an ‘emergency’ that involves needing to drive. We drink what we fancy. It’s not loads, neither of us would be considered drunk but we are usually both over the legal drive limit on fri and sat nights. I think the majority of other parents I know do the same. I’ve never come across a situation where my kids are happily asleep in bed, ive had a few drinks and then suddenly found I need to drive them to a&e. Of course if they were unwell and I thought that might be a risk later in the night I wouldn’t drink.

I suppose it all depends on risk averse you are. I like drinking wine and really don't see the point in not drinking for 18 years JUST IN CASE.