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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask to much you drink when in charge of your child?

391 replies

meow1989 · 09/02/2019 23:01

Just wondered as to what everyone's idea of a sensible limit is?

If DH is drinking a couple of beers I'll tend not to, but tonight fancied a glass of prosecco (home measure so about 200ml). Had poured myself another but then put it back as I didn't have dinner (big lunch) and we have a 7 month old DS.

My thinking is if I need to I'll be able drive if I absolutely needed to and I'll wake easily if DS does (still in our room, sleeps through except for dummy wakes, only cosleep in morning after 6.30 bottle).

DH doesn't necessarily think like this and didn't see anything wrong with us both having a second (absolutely amicable brief conversation as to why I put mine back) so I'm just curious as to what everyone else sets as their limit?

OP posts:
RandomUsernameHere · 10/02/2019 21:52

@GunpowderGelatine Grin

Redcrayonisthebest · 10/02/2019 22:05

More cos of being woken up so damn early so avoiding a hangover/headache

Oh God yes this!!!

ILoveMaxiBondi · 10/02/2019 22:10

If you drink more than a thimble full of alcohol per month you're pegged as an alcoholic

Oh wow, which thread was that on?

To those suggesting you should always be completely sober when in charge of children in case you need to drive

Who suggested that?

ILoveMaxiBondi · 10/02/2019 22:13

Do you all take turns with your partner to be sober for Christmas Day?

You may want to sit down for this because I’m about to blow your mind.... ready? I have never drank on Xmas day. Shock can you believe that’s possible?

zsazsajuju · 10/02/2019 22:16

I don’t generally drink but would have maybe at most a couple of glasses of wine on occasion in the evening. I have a friend who won’t drink in case she has to drive on an emergency. I don’t get it - I could get a taxi or ambulance.

Kokeshi123 · 11/02/2019 00:54

I have never drank on Xmas day. shock can you believe that’s possible?

Look, I know lots of people who don't drink for all kinds of reasons, it would never occur to me to have a problem with it. The problem is that some people on this thread who don't drink are being judgmental and superior about those who do drink in moderation.

Kokeshi123 · 11/02/2019 00:58

To those suggesting you should always be completely sober when in charge of children in case you need to drive, what about people who don't have a car or can't drive? What about families with only one car and one parent is using it while the other is with the children? It's not a requirement to have immediate access to a car at all times when looking after children!

This. Or what happens if your car has a sudden mechanical problem? I don't drive, it's never been an issue because I live in areas with PT, lots of taxis and easy ambulance access.

NunoGoncalves · 11/02/2019 01:01

Oh yeah... I just realised I'm home for hours with DS every day while OH is at work with our only car!

Maybe I should ask him to quit his job 🤔

GrandTheftWalrus · 11/02/2019 01:04

I'm currently almost a bottle of Russian standard vodka down and dd who is 2 is sleeping. However her dad is perfectly capable of getting up to her etc.

GrandTheftWalrus · 11/02/2019 01:05

And tomorrow I can lie in bed for as long as I like as he'll get up with her!

mondayoneday · 11/02/2019 03:06

You may want to sit down for this because I’m about to blow your mind.... ready? I have never drank on Xmas day.  can you believe that’s possible?

Yet again the question wasn't really aimed at people who don't drink. We get it. You don't drink.

mondayoneday · 11/02/2019 04:36

Perhaps the thread should've been preceded by:

"For those that enjoy the age old popular pastime known as "having an alcoholic drink"...."

SerenaOverjoyed · 11/02/2019 07:41

It's been said a few times by others, but I've got a clinical role in the nhs and I wouldn't contact children's services unless I had a concern. A glass or two of wine in itself is not a concern. Evidence of neglect is. I'd have to justify the decision to raise safeguarding and wouldn't do it lightly, even with unlimited time. Even if I did, children's services would close it down pretty quickly if that was the only concern. They are busy with families who need their support, not families who promptly took their kid to hospital when they noticed something amiss.

If the parent was slurry/stumbly or unable to take responsibility that's obviously different.

Lweji · 11/02/2019 07:54

My main question would be how much actual alcohol you were taking and how much per body weight.

One 200ml glass of a 12% wine is the same as two 300 ml beer cans/bottles at 4%.
So, if you're lighter than your husband, you'd have more alcohol in your blood than him, probably.

Apart from that, I'd keep within any limits that would allow me to respond quickly to any emergency. I wouldn't want to delay decisions like calling an ambulance or driving myself, or what to do with choking.

Remember that if your reflexes are not good enough for driving they may not be good enough to deal quickly and well enough with a life and death emergency in your house.

masterandmargarita · 11/02/2019 07:56

My main question would be red or white?

crispysausagerolls · 11/02/2019 08:06

None because i like to have all my faculties intact when taking care of what is essentially the most precious thing in the world to me

brookshelley · 11/02/2019 08:09

I've never worried about this. Maybe because I live in a city and can get a taxi or Uber very easily. I don't usually drink during the week but on the weekend I'll have two glasses and relax - why the hell not?

Vulpine · 11/02/2019 08:17

Crispy I like to have my faculties a little fuzzy when looking after the most precious thing in the world to me. I can't fathom how my kids have grown into such rounded people with a fuzzy headed parent such as myself.

Winebottle · 11/02/2019 08:17

We drink the same as before kids. Maybe a bottle of wine each or more on a heavy night.

We don't have a car so we are equally fucked in that regard whether drink or sober.

I think the mental faculty comments are ridiculous. You are not cracking the enigma code, you are dealing with a child who has awoken in the night. I can do that perfectly well after a drink. I don't stop caring about my kids or doing dangerous things after a few glasses.

southnownorth · 11/02/2019 08:43

Bizarre thread.

I don't care if anyone drinks or not it's up to you.

I don't drive, I'll have a little drink most nights. I would call a cab in an emergency. Most social workers I know drink like fish so they are not in a place to bloody judge me.

Did laugh at some of the responses above. "I had two mouthfuls of wine about four years ago and not a drop since"

crispysausagerolls · 11/02/2019 08:44

vulpine

Crack on, I say! It’s my personal choice and exactly how I see it for me 🤷🏻‍♀️ I was at a 1st birthday once after 2 glasses (which wasn’t a lot for me, pre DS, and someone handed me the birthday girl and I have never been so uncomfortable or unable to do the task at hand in my life and just don’t want to drink anything due to how unfit I felt at that moment. Was terrifying.

YouBumder · 11/02/2019 08:56

I think the mental faculty comments are ridiculous. You are not cracking the enigma code, you are dealing with a child who has awoken in the night. I can do that perfectly well after a drink. I don't stop caring about my kids or doing dangerous things after a few glasses.

This really. Please tell me what you’re drinking if you lose control of your faculties after one drink.

This thread is peak mumsnet

ziggyhousedust · 11/02/2019 08:57

None because i like to have all my faculties intact when taking care of what is essentially the most precious thing in the world to me

Wins the thread.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 11/02/2019 09:25

The problem is that some people on this thread who don't drink are being judgmental and superior about those who do drink in moderation.

You seem to have missed the name calling and accusations of lying being thrown at anyone who’s says they don’t drink around their children.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 11/02/2019 09:26

Yet again the question wasn't really aimed at people who don't drink. We get it. You don't drink.

Except I do! Grin which I’ve said at least twice on this thread.

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