To ask to much you drink when in charge of your child?

[meow1989]

Just wondered as to what everyone's idea of a sensible limit is?

If DH is drinking a couple of beers I'll tend not to, but tonight fancied a glass of prosecco (home measure so about 200ml). Had poured myself another but then put it back as I didn't have dinner (big lunch) and we have a 7 month old DS.

My thinking is if I need to I'll be able drive if I absolutely needed to and I'll wake easily if DS does (still in our room, sleeps through except for dummy wakes, only cosleep in morning after 6.30 bottle).

DH doesn't necessarily think like this and didn't see anything wrong with us both having a second (absolutely amicable brief conversation as to why I put mine back) so I'm just curious as to what everyone else sets as their limit?

Believe it or not, not everyone lives for a drink at the weekend or wine with dinner or whatever. Some people don’t even think about drinking. Its just not on their mind. Not everyone wants to drink. It doesn’t feature in their weekly routine so they aren’t sitting in a constant state of anxiety and stress over not being able to drink incase of an emergency.

This. I like a glass of wine. But I like it in the way that I like crème caramel or lamb chops: as something that adds pleasure to life. If I go for a weekend without crème caramel, it's not a sign that I'm in a state of emergency: it was just a weekend when I wasn't having crème caramel. It has no significance. I probably had something else nice instead.

Drinking is one way to enjoy a weekend, not the only way.

Well us sad fucked up drinking parents are just spouting 'lame drivel' with our need to drink - so much so that I'm going to have to have another drink. It's not to early is it?

*too early - oops tipsy already

I wish I knew you people in real life!
Everything is based around drink where I live. I hate it.

Oh, and not eating crème caramel does definitely not signify holier-than-thou: probably just meant I chose to spend that part of the weekly budget on a chocolate mousse instead.

Money is not infinite. One week we might buy a bottle of wine, another week something else. Nothing is holier or less holy than anything else.

Some people do seem to get really anxious about other people's choices.

I'm neither militant nor holier than thou, I just don't drink. Do those surprised genuinely not know anyone who doesn't drink?

You don’t really have a need to drink though, do you master? If you do then there probably is a problem you need to look at.

'You mean like respecting people who decide not to drink rather than deride them as “holier than thou”...?'

*describe

Meh. I wouldn't be too bothered about gaining respect for someone's post on mumsnet. It's a subjective opinion.

Bondi - no I don't need to have a drink - i've just been for a run actually but I certainly don't judge parents on whether they drink or not. And there are most certainly some very judgemental posts on here.

I'm going to take one for the team and admit that I got the kids in bed last night 4,8 and 13yrs. And I enjoyed two glasses of wine. Do this most weekends with a takeout in front of the TV and have done on a school night sometimes.

And there are most certainly some very judgemental posts on here.

Yes a lot of judgement and namecalling towards people who decide to be sober when caring for their children.

I've said earlier in this thread that I have no problem with having a glass of wine or two and relying on the local taxi company for emergencies. But I have a serious problem with the whole concept that a certain weekend routine is required and that anyone who does something different must be either lying or holier than thou.

I'm going to take one for the team and admit that I got the kids in bed last night 4,8 and 13yrs. And I enjoyed two glasses of wine.

😂 Pretty much 75% of the people already posting on this thread have “admitted” (I don’t consider an admission because I don’t think theres anything wrong with it) to exactly that!

I will have a few drinks if the kids are well and my husband is home (he will also have a few). If I'm on my own or one of them seems like they're coming down with something I won't as they want to come in our bed and I don't think it's safe. Not bothered about driving (they are too busy in a and e to ask if you got a taxi or drove!)as we live 10 min away from a major hospital in a big city. We wouldn't ever both be smashed but we have both been tipsy while the kids are in bed. Ours are 1 and 3.5 now and it's worked out fine so far. I guess in a genuine emergency there could have been times where we both aren't at our best but I think we'd have been OK to cope and the chances of something happening overnight on a night we've both had slightly too much are v v slim.

I'm aware that this isn't going to go down well reading through the posts but I think SS involvement would be taking it a bit far

Well me and my 36 year old son can often down a couple of bottles together. Not sure which one of us is in charge though

Having spent years as a social worker I’ve never seen a referral where a&e or a doctor have referred in because a parent had had a couple of glasses of wine and then brought their sick child in a taxi for medical treatment.
Mumsnet is bizarre; the views on here certainly don’t represent the people I know in real life.

We will happily share a bottle of wine when the kids are in bed and will also meet other families in the pub and have a couple of pints while the kids colour in and eat chips. They love it and we get to catch up with our friends.

Some friends drink and some don't but I've never encountered the 'in case of emergency' thing in real life. We're all sensible enough to know our limits and as others have said, health professionals are not going to question if you're over the limit to drive providing you're coherent and responsible.

User what about a referral made due to an injury (that medical staff weren’t sure about the cause so had to refer) where alcohol was noted? That’s never happened?

ILoveMaxiBondi I hadn't read full post but it seemed to be leaning towards nil alcohol if in charge of little ones 😁

I don't generally drink anyway and neither does my husband, and we have two children under 3. However I've genuinely never thought about abstaining from a glass of wine or G&T 'just in case' we need to drive. I assume I'd just call a taxi or a relative if something urgent happened, or an ambulance obviously in the case of real danger. I guess I don't risk assess as much as some!

This is a silly and smug mummy thread attracting all varieties of silliness. My DD is grown up. I took her to A&E three times never without a build up. The likelihood of an unexpected emergency in the night is minimal and if driving is an issue then use an ambulance or taxi. As others have said non drivers are not lesser parents. Maxi bondi you are talking total twaddle- SS would never be called if parents had a whiff of the grape. Obviously not advocating that anyone get trousered.
Chill out - stop the performance parenting and you’ll bring up relaxed and we’ll adjusted kids.

Maxi bondi you are talking total twaddle- SS would never be called if parents had a whiff of the grape.

😂 we’re not talking whiff of a grape. We’re talking drinking a glass or two of wine or gin or whisky or whatever the preferred drink is (and we all know different drinks affect different people differently so what’s fine for one, mightn’t be fine for another) and being in a situation where some jobsworth or nasty bastard on a power trip (don’t tell me they don’t exist) might decide that’s relevant to whatever injury has befallen the child. You can’t tell me the chance of that happening is nil.

I’m also not stressed or anxious or performance parenting. I answered a question on a thread. No-one can see me not drinking on a Saturday night as I’m at home in my own living room with the curtains closed and my children are in bed.

describe

AWKWARD

(And now I’m deriding you, just FYI)

I do wonder how many of the posts directed at people who don’t drink, are actually the author’s own insecurities coming out.

Drink or don’t drink. Either is fine. What isn’t fine is assuming anyone else who chooses to do something different is wrong, lying or “on the spectrum”.