You are not taking on the whole nation here OP, only deciding with your dh what's best for your family, its not traditional anymore, praise be!!!
Given that 96% of children still take on their fathers name it is in fact very traditional, to the point its almost engrained.
It sounds as if its not really that bad a name at all on the whole and more a case of OP just doesn't like the sound of it rather than it being a name that would likely be laughed at.
Don't embrace the victim culture and assume that automatically your child will be a bully victim. Have the confidence to know your parenting will have moulded them to feel sorry for those who would try to tease them over something as shallow.
Who is anyone to ridicule someone on what is important to them. Its been noted several times its patriarchal, therefore somehow bad. I can totally understand why a man would feel it important to have his kids associated with him by name, even more so in this era of toxic feminism where any masculine behaviour is seen as some kind of threat to humanity. As some have said its about give and take in a marriage and if its agreed this is important to a man then it maybe its a sacrifice worth making to maintain a healthy relationship.
This is the problem in society, we all think we are super important and our feelings matter before all else, thats why so many relationships break down as the selfishness is unsustainable. In a time where its encouraged to be who we feel and embrace who we are, explore ourselves and our sexuality as we see fit. Someone even made reference it was out of touch to not have sex before marriage as if its a good thing that bad behaviour is the norm regardless of its toxicity to kids especially.
Forget women in times gone by do you actually think its beneficial to women we now live in a society where sex is encouraged out of marriage and we teach kids growing up thats a good thing to be free and do what men have done for so long. Do you think for a second that its just shear coincidence that we have a generation of young teenage girls suffering in proportions that are now epidemic who feel such little self worth for themselves and have such low self repect for their bodies that they're intentionally and deliberately inflicting harm upon their own self. That to me is tragic beyond words. Women complaining how bad they were treat in the 'olden 'days' compared to times we live in now, and they're actually abusing themselves. Go feminism, not. Then you see a parent scratching their heads as to why their child would do this, and to the odd few the boulder in the room will finally drop on their foot, that is that all these things that we believe are good and modern and fun actually have this clause that we never even considered, called consequences.
To consider the confusion young girls brought up in this toxic environment must be facing really saddens me. Everyone teaches them how far women have came, how were free to explore our bodies and embrace random transactions of sex. Young school age girls curious seeing porn and thinking the star of an adult film ' 4 in the ass' is a strong empowered woman, or a role model to look up to! Yet when their going out as they're taught to and sharing sexual experiences they wonder why this amazing new sensation and feelings they've just shared with this person hasn't had the same effect, in fact rather the opposite, her partner she's shared her body with and these intimate moments now see's her as the last person he'd actually want to be 'seen' with because she's labelled a slut. How devastating it is to think how confused and worthless young girls must feel when they feel like they're popular because all the boys want them and make that clear and so they try sex again hoping for that connection blissfully unaware and unable to make sense of the fact there only value to these boys is as an object with which to satisfy themselves in.
Is that bad male behaviour, yes, but such bad behaviour is rewarded not least by the modern feminist whos telling them women are the same, they too are as sexual as you and are embracing living out their fantasies. Women don't need men look how strong we are.
So do I love patriarchal traditions. I think fatherhood is vital and within context if they are important to my man they are important to me. Just as he makes sacrifices for the things that I feel are important and value. These are the things only you know what is important for you both, But you both have to give into things you sometimes don't like giving into. Thats good for a healthy relationship and stability.
The voices of all the man-hating feminists are those of someone who will typically struggle to form meaningful and stable relationships throughout their life, they feel constantly threatened by masculinity & male behaviour, and try to bully women who might value it. They show a general lack of understanding on what it is to compromise, believing their feelings are the only ones that matter. This is often a product of there own environment growing up rather than their own fault but is why I stand by firm values to rid society of these bigoted views.
It really, really wouldn't - plenty of kids are in blended families, DP and I have 2 kids together, one with his surname, one with mine.
Cultural norms in Britain include a forename then a surname it is very unusual to see any different. We dont give kids a pejorative name for example, had you read the sentence after you would of seen that is what i was referring to.
And as to your courts comment - don't be ridiculous, why on earth would she have to justify wanting her child to have the same name as her?
She would have to justify it because the child is both of theirs and if both parents are present and there is dispute I think you'll find the family name of the father will be favoured or a hyphenated one secondly as this is the most common way and therefore in the best interest of the child not just 'what the mother wants.
Newborns default to their mother’s last name, not their father’s.
They do, whoever it was that mentioned newborns.
I'm struggling to understand your logic here. Are you saying that conformity to a pre-existing set of patriarchal norms dating from the days when a wife and children were the man of the household's legal chattels, is more important than the fact that this is no longer the case?
So because something dates back to a time when bad things happened that too must be a bad thing? Therefore everything that dates back to when bad things happened must be bad things too right? If this is your logic then i feel you'd struggle with any explanation also.
Also the latest research, Sheffield University and many others, shows that children from single parent households do no worse than those where the parents are married.
This is so misleading . In fact the study you refer to wasn't representative of Sheffield University, as is specifically noted, but rather that of the author, who is policy officer of a leading charity helping single parent families, so clearly with an agenda to further shifting policies to benefit that charity.
It's a study solely based on children's own self reporting on 3 questions, namely 'life satisfaction', 'how feel about family' (that was the actual wording in the study), and 'peer relationship problems' where the kids tick a box between 1 and 5 with the largest gap between average answers being .17 and .40 over all answers.
If anything the report highlights large instability over all the groups so I'd be interested to know where they targeted. However, its pretty clear this was a politically motivated report by an individual with a specific agenda rather than reliable neutral research. A similar paper could be 'Christianity is the best religion' By The Pope
I dont think its the case single parents cant better their lives or that of their kids as there are many single parents who work tirelessly and admirably to better their lives for their kids.
Some people on here sound as if they're in complete denial though rebutting the notion of a disadvantage and in shock that someone could actually sympathise.
I know plenty of single parents and its a sure thing not 1 of them are there because its what they set out to do (only the actions of an inherently evil person would do so intentionally). its usually came about through 1 or more poor life choices along the way, and can with good choices and hard work be worked through with a positive outcome.
Wow I havn't really touched the keyboard since finishing Uni thats just taken nearly half an hour! Ive got another few weeks to heal a broken leg though so plenty to keep busy with in that time.
I nearly forgot also thanks to the poster for pointing out that my mentioning of my values of marriage and its importance was actually because I'm insecure, who would have guessed? Its been staring me right in the face all this time until i saw your post, and there it was, complete rationality of a new self-awareness. Aw bless ya.