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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be massively irritated at new lodger

304 replies

Nutmeggy · 09/02/2019 17:17

Hi all
Sat fuming at the moment.

6 weeks ago I got a lodger short term for three months.

All was fine until Friday when she told me by text that her friend was coming to stay for the weekend bringing her 8 year old daughter

Got text Friday evening, by the time I arrived home they were here. Took them 4 hours by coach so not like they live near by.

However I think you have to ask and 2 extra people here all weekend not very relaxing.

Going to.have words with lodger when they have gone tomorrow but seriously who does this?

Massive over reach on part of lodger i think particularly as they are sleeping in lounge

OP posts:
TheInvestigator · 10/02/2019 13:40

I can't believe you didn't say something. It's your home. The lodger has a room and obviously access to communal areas but there is no way she could make this out as acceptable... But you've let her away with It!

At least you're giving notice.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 13:41

Still in lounge chatting but leaving soon evidently...

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/02/2019 13:41

That's really off. I had quite a few lodgers in my time, but none of them were as cheeky as that!
If they had guests, they usually stayed over in their own room - but occasionally it was necessary for them to ask if they could use the spare room (one's mum, for e.g.) - but they ASKED with plenty of time to spare, and I'm sure they wouldn't have insisted if I'd said it wasn't convenient!

Yes, definitely have a word after the friend and child have left

Mayrhofen · 10/02/2019 13:41

Tbh I would just tell the lodger that they need to go out now as you would like your living room back

cheesenpickles · 10/02/2019 13:43

I have a funny feeling that the cf lodger may pounce on you first to say you made her and her guests feel uncomfortable. Best be prepared for that level of cfery

Wauden · 10/02/2019 13:43

I think you are handling this well by not saying anything to CF in front of the others. Especially as there is a child. Also it could turn so that it's two vs one and a crying child.
It will suffice to serve notice after CF friend and kids have left and take it from there ie if you want to explain what is obvious to any non CFs.
Saying that, the PA suggestions are fun. Bring them on!

Holidayshopping · 10/02/2019 13:44

What’s her notice period?

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 13:44

I think she would be better off renting her own place and then she can do.as she pleases to be honest

OP posts:
Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 13:45

One month

OP posts:
candlefloozy · 10/02/2019 13:45

Did you discuss guests before lodger moved in?

Juells · 10/02/2019 13:45

I have a funny feeling that the cf lodger may pounce on you first to say you made her and her guests feel uncomfortable. Best be prepared for that level of cfery

Haha yes, hadn't thought of that, but entirely possible.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 10/02/2019 13:46

This would send my stress levels through the roof! It must be very tempting to tell them all to fuck off but there is a child involved so you're doing the right thing by holding your fire. The child will also pick up on an unpleasant atmosphere.

I'd breeze in, say cheerily "Right, I'd like my lounge back now, what are your plans for the rest of the day?" and see what happens. If they seem inclined to take root, there's your chance to remind the lodger that she doesn't pay to use your room so if they aren't going out they need to decamp to her space.

Definitely give notice, this lodger is really looking for a house share, which is what you can tell her as your reason for asking her to leave.

Firgoodnesssake · 10/02/2019 13:48

Nutmeggy you deserve a medal for having bit your lip all weekend - I don’t know if I could have managed to do that as our homes are our sanctuary’s and to have a CF take liberties would have made me seem red.
Looking forward to your next move - notice to leave!

cstaff · 10/02/2019 13:50

I can't wait to see your conversation with the lodger after her guests have left. CFs all of them.

Birdie6 · 10/02/2019 13:55

I'd agree - get rid of her asap. And if you decide to do this again, make the rules much more clear-cut, so they can't take the piss like this one has.

Wauden · 10/02/2019 13:57

cheesenpickles and CF could say 'but my friend is (inert story) and has no money so all we could afford was a fry up, couldn't afford a cafe, the poor child, she's going through (insert story) I was just helping her, don't you care about (friends/the needy/my feelings/now I am upset, you never said anything' etc.

Solstice888 · 10/02/2019 14:01

No one takes in a lodger expecting them to NEVER use the living room though.

And she only has a three month lease?! You are thinking of giving her notice? You know it has to be 28 days notice right? Unless its different in certain parts of the UK?

I dunno, still think you are massively overreacting.

DeaflySilence · 10/02/2019 14:01

There not still there, are they? I've got to go out!

1CantPickAName · 10/02/2019 14:02

a months notice on a three month lease is a long time, I would have thought that a weeks notice was normal on a short lease?

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 14:04

If like to give shorter notice but the license agreement says a month and that's probably fairer

OP posts:
Solstice888 · 10/02/2019 14:06

Just looking at my lodger agreements and it actually leaves a blank space for the notice. I've always just put in 28 days. But I guess 2 weeks would be fine for a short lease.

Knittedfairies · 10/02/2019 14:07

You have to say something, otherwise they'll be there all afternoon!

Monkeypuzzle2019 · 10/02/2019 14:08

I don’t think you are overreacting at all. It’s one thing for the lodger to use the living room and another to take over the living room and have people sleeping in the whole weekend. She’s a lodger not a tenant. I would not put up with it. You are very nice not to have said anything the whole weekend.

Cuttingthegrass · 10/02/2019 14:09

I imagine you won’t be giving her a reference !

theworldistoosmall · 10/02/2019 14:09

The notice doesn't have to be 28 days. If the lodger pays weekly, then legally this is the notice needed.

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