Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby shower guests being charged for food??

104 replies

Mummy20192 · 09/02/2019 13:06

So I got an invite to a baby shower for a friend... but the organiser( and mum to be) are charging for food and drinks..

The few baby showers that I’ve been to, I took a present, but never paid for the nibbles..

My friend has already set up a baby wish list so I’ll hacd to get something from there once bsby is born..

So what is the etiquette these days for the baby shower gifting? Do I pay for food and take a present? And then buy from baby wish list aswell??

Back in my time 8 yrs ago, i just did a shower at home that I paid for, few friends came and we played games.. gifts were given once bsby arrived..

OP posts:
Delatron · 09/02/2019 13:07

Where is the baby shower? At a restaurant?

bellasb · 09/02/2019 13:09

I'd skip the shower and just get a gift when baby is born

RogueV · 09/02/2019 13:09

Don’t go

RollerJed · 09/02/2019 13:10

That is totally off. What was the wording regarding being charged?

bridgetreilly · 09/02/2019 13:13

Charging? Like, they are catering at home and giving you a bill for it? Or you are all going out and paying for yourselves?

Either way, I would just wash my hands of the whole thing, tbh, and get a present for the baby when it's born.

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 09/02/2019 13:15

They are doing it in a gastro pub.. it’s £15 per head for food( we need to take cash in ) avd pay for drinks ourselves. That’s what was in the invite.. food £15 + own drinks at bar.

OP posts:
Bubastes · 09/02/2019 13:15

It seems everyone's got a con going these days. Even foetuses.

2cats2many · 09/02/2019 13:16

But you're busy that day aren't you?

3in4years · 09/02/2019 13:16

Would you really expect her to pay?

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 09/02/2019 13:16

Think that's cheeky especially as there's a wish list. Lots of people don't exactly relish going to baby showers, you already have to buy a baby gift, paying for your own food as well is a bit much.

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 09/02/2019 13:17

To be honest.. I wouldn’t mind paying for food and a present to shower. But I will be expected to get something when I go to visit baby first time as well.

OP posts:
IvanaPee · 09/02/2019 13:19

Sounds like she’s inviting you to the pub for a meal. I think it’s readonable to pay for your own.

But I don’t really get the whole baby shower thing so that’s probably colouring my opinion.

If I’d bought something from the Baby Wish List Confused I would just take that. But I wouldn’t buy another gift when baby was born.

The whole thing confuses me really!

fiorentina · 09/02/2019 13:19

I think if it’s a meal at a pub I’d expect to pay, just like I would with any other get together. If it was at home I’d expect to bring some food and a bottle..

JustHereForThePooStories · 09/02/2019 13:19

Baby showers are hideously tacky. Grown women playing games and “gifting”.

FFS, just don’t go, and then give a gift when the baby arrives.

TakeMe2Insanity · 09/02/2019 13:20

I really don’t get the fixation with inviting people and getting them to pay. If you can’t afford it don’t host, don’t invite people.

rainbowstardrops · 09/02/2019 13:20

I wouldn't go because I think this whole baby shower malarkey is crap. I'd just buy a present for mum and baby once the baby is here.

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 09/02/2019 13:22

3in4years.. back in my time and a few recent ones I have been to.. the shower was at home.. few light nibbles were paid for by organisers.. and guests took presents

OP posts:
Weetabixandshreddies · 09/02/2019 13:24

Don't agree with the whole baby shower thing but surely they are for you to give your gift - just before the birth rather than after?

Why do you now have to give a before birth gift plus an after birth gift? How much more grabby can we get?

As for charging for the food???????

Bubastes · 09/02/2019 13:25

If you can’t afford it don’t host, don’t invite people.

Agree.

The concept of baby showers is odd enough without giving people a list of presents to choose from and telling them to turn up with said present at a pub where they need to buy their own lunch and drinks.

Ick.

DandilionBreak · 09/02/2019 13:27

I wouldn't mind being asked to pay if she was honest upfront (which she is being). You then get to decide if you'll attend or not. I don't think it's unreasonable, myself. I'd also be happy to take a gift for the baby at that point.

I would not buy another baby gift once the baby was born, or when I visited with her for the first time. She's had her baby gift, at the "shower".

If I did take her something once baby had arrived, it'd be a wee pampering treat for the new mum though. I'm talking minimum expense here - chocolates, or flowers, or some bath stuff, something like that.

Ethel80 · 09/02/2019 13:32

I guess as you're going out for a meal that's different hosting at home and providing a buffet or lunch.

I've hosted a surprise baby shower for a colleague where we went for a meal local to work and people paid for their own meals and drinks.

Is there a reason why they can't host at home? Maybe their place is too small. My lounge is little which limits how many people I could invite here. Or are they having work done?

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 09/02/2019 13:33

I was a bit surprised.. so wasn’t sure if this was a new baby trend that I wasn’t aware of.. good to know I’m not that outdated in my perception..

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 09/02/2019 13:34

That's a CFF - cheeky fucker foetus

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 09/02/2019 13:37

Tacky.

Host pays. That's what 'hosting' is.

TheFirstRuleOfFightClub · 09/02/2019 13:38

As if baby showers aren't crap enough, you are now expected to pay for the experience. Grim!

Swipe left for the next trending thread