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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby shower guests being charged for food??

104 replies

Mummy20192 · 09/02/2019 13:06

So I got an invite to a baby shower for a friend... but the organiser( and mum to be) are charging for food and drinks..

The few baby showers that I’ve been to, I took a present, but never paid for the nibbles..

My friend has already set up a baby wish list so I’ll hacd to get something from there once bsby is born..

So what is the etiquette these days for the baby shower gifting? Do I pay for food and take a present? And then buy from baby wish list aswell??

Back in my time 8 yrs ago, i just did a shower at home that I paid for, few friends came and we played games.. gifts were given once bsby arrived..

OP posts:
Delatron · 09/02/2019 13:07

Where is the baby shower? At a restaurant?

bellasb · 09/02/2019 13:09

I'd skip the shower and just get a gift when baby is born

RogueV · 09/02/2019 13:09

Don’t go

RollerJed · 09/02/2019 13:10

That is totally off. What was the wording regarding being charged?

bridgetreilly · 09/02/2019 13:13

Charging? Like, they are catering at home and giving you a bill for it? Or you are all going out and paying for yourselves?

Either way, I would just wash my hands of the whole thing, tbh, and get a present for the baby when it's born.

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 09/02/2019 13:15

They are doing it in a gastro pub.. it’s £15 per head for food( we need to take cash in ) avd pay for drinks ourselves. That’s what was in the invite.. food £15 + own drinks at bar.

OP posts:
Bubastes · 09/02/2019 13:15

It seems everyone's got a con going these days. Even foetuses.

2cats2many · 09/02/2019 13:16

But you're busy that day aren't you?

3in4years · 09/02/2019 13:16

Would you really expect her to pay?

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 09/02/2019 13:16

Think that's cheeky especially as there's a wish list. Lots of people don't exactly relish going to baby showers, you already have to buy a baby gift, paying for your own food as well is a bit much.

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 09/02/2019 13:17

To be honest.. I wouldn’t mind paying for food and a present to shower. But I will be expected to get something when I go to visit baby first time as well.

OP posts:
IvanaPee · 09/02/2019 13:19

Sounds like she’s inviting you to the pub for a meal. I think it’s readonable to pay for your own.

But I don’t really get the whole baby shower thing so that’s probably colouring my opinion.

If I’d bought something from the Baby Wish List Confused I would just take that. But I wouldn’t buy another gift when baby was born.

The whole thing confuses me really!

fiorentina · 09/02/2019 13:19

I think if it’s a meal at a pub I’d expect to pay, just like I would with any other get together. If it was at home I’d expect to bring some food and a bottle..

JustHereForThePooStories · 09/02/2019 13:19

Baby showers are hideously tacky. Grown women playing games and “gifting”.

FFS, just don’t go, and then give a gift when the baby arrives.

TakeMe2Insanity · 09/02/2019 13:20

I really don’t get the fixation with inviting people and getting them to pay. If you can’t afford it don’t host, don’t invite people.

rainbowstardrops · 09/02/2019 13:20

I wouldn't go because I think this whole baby shower malarkey is crap. I'd just buy a present for mum and baby once the baby is here.

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 09/02/2019 13:22

3in4years.. back in my time and a few recent ones I have been to.. the shower was at home.. few light nibbles were paid for by organisers.. and guests took presents

OP posts:
Weetabixandshreddies · 09/02/2019 13:24

Don't agree with the whole baby shower thing but surely they are for you to give your gift - just before the birth rather than after?

Why do you now have to give a before birth gift plus an after birth gift? How much more grabby can we get?

As for charging for the food???????

Bubastes · 09/02/2019 13:25

If you can’t afford it don’t host, don’t invite people.

Agree.

The concept of baby showers is odd enough without giving people a list of presents to choose from and telling them to turn up with said present at a pub where they need to buy their own lunch and drinks.

Ick.

DandilionBreak · 09/02/2019 13:27

I wouldn't mind being asked to pay if she was honest upfront (which she is being). You then get to decide if you'll attend or not. I don't think it's unreasonable, myself. I'd also be happy to take a gift for the baby at that point.

I would not buy another baby gift once the baby was born, or when I visited with her for the first time. She's had her baby gift, at the "shower".

If I did take her something once baby had arrived, it'd be a wee pampering treat for the new mum though. I'm talking minimum expense here - chocolates, or flowers, or some bath stuff, something like that.

Ethel80 · 09/02/2019 13:32

I guess as you're going out for a meal that's different hosting at home and providing a buffet or lunch.

I've hosted a surprise baby shower for a colleague where we went for a meal local to work and people paid for their own meals and drinks.

Is there a reason why they can't host at home? Maybe their place is too small. My lounge is little which limits how many people I could invite here. Or are they having work done?

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 09/02/2019 13:33

I was a bit surprised.. so wasn’t sure if this was a new baby trend that I wasn’t aware of.. good to know I’m not that outdated in my perception..

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 09/02/2019 13:34

That's a CFF - cheeky fucker foetus

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 09/02/2019 13:37

Tacky.

Host pays. That's what 'hosting' is.

TheFirstRuleOfFightClub · 09/02/2019 13:38

As if baby showers aren't crap enough, you are now expected to pay for the experience. Grim!