Parents who don't get their children to give up seats!

[thatsmyspace]

Went to the doctors this morning and had a long wait.it was extremely busy as it usually is on a Saturday morning. And I was extremely shocked at the amount of parents that don't make their children give up there seats so others can sit down. An elderly gentleman positioned hisself at the end of a row of seats when right next to him was a child of maybe 4/5 and her mother the other side of her. She didn't even move the child onto her lap and offer the elderly gentleman the seat. A lady that was sitting close by stood up and gave him her chair. Another parent did the exact same thing when a pregnant lady with her toddler came in. She didn't move her child to let the pregnant lady sit down. So I stood up and offered my chair.

This isn't the first time I've encountered this. You see it all the time. Where's is people common courtesy! Maybe it's because I was raised to give up my seat to my elders I just don't understand this rudeness.

Why do you never ever get threads griping about 20 or 30 year olds not giving up their seats? Because they don't either.

I can't imagine that the waiting room was a couple of adults and then a sea of children. I'm sure there were plenty of adults who were fit enough to stand. Why should children be the de facto group to give up their comfort over everybody else?

Children are not less entitled to a seat in a public place than anybody else and whilst I would always budge up or stick a child on my lap or stand myself if seating was scarce and a vulnerable person was wanting, I'd tell you to give your head a wobble if you thought you could lord your self entitlement over my children in a public place.

Children are not less entitled to a seat in a public place than anybody else and whilst I would always budge up or stick a child on my lap or stand myself if seating was scarce and a vulnerable person was wanting, I'd tell you to give your head a wobble if you thought you could lord your self entitlement over my children in a public place.

This. ^

Those who are able bodied should give up their seats for someone who clearly isn’t. Age doesn’t come into, although one can generalize that younger people are healthier than elderly people.

Small children should sit on their parent’s lap where possible rather than take their own seat, that seems sensible. But they shouldn’t automatically be the group that has to give up their seats. I was made to as a child, but in my 30’s I am more than capable of standing up. Small children may be harder to control and if they are sitting and happy then sometimes it is best not to rock the boat. If a small child has a seat and every other person is clearly in need then of course they should give up their seat, but I doubt this situation would occur.

The hospital/ dr seating thing has been done before. Obviously patients should have priority over those accompanying.

It's the responsibility of all able bodied people to give up their seat to people who need it. Age is not a deciding factor on who should offer first.

Children giving up seats for adults on public transport started because they travelled for free so hadn't technically paid for a seat.

The invisible disability argument is important. I needed a seat much more when I was newly pregnant (morning sickness) than when I was 7 months pregnant. To a third party I probably looked like someone with a hangover so capable of standing for self-inflicting my sickness but the commute was hell and the motion of the train made me feel worse.

@goldengummybear

It's the responsibility of all able bodied people to give up their seat to people who need it.

It's really not.

What happens after all the kids have given up seats? Do the adults give up seats in age order or do they have to argue about who's reason for sitting is more valid? I'm 41 and you are welcome to my seat if you need it.

@thatsmyspace

Most teenagers won’t sit in the front room with mummy and daddy when they have friends round. They would be up in there pits playing video games/out with friends.

Why do you never ever get threads griping about 20 or 30 year olds not giving up their seats? Because they don't either.

I quite agree. I think some people on Mumsnet would love to go back to the days when children were 'seen but not heard'.

@goldengummybear I suppose we could have some sort of game of musical chairs, for the remaining adults. Or everyone could wear special badges with their age on, or a hat.

You have no idea what the mother is there for. How do you know she hadn't just had some type of abdominal surgery and couldn't have a child sitting on her lap.
Just because someone looks fine, it doesn't mean they are.

I'm sure before i looked perfectly fine, but I've got bad pelvic and back pain. Would anyone know that from looking at me? No.

@thatsmyspace you’re being incredibly ignorant
I’ve got a joint condition that means I need to sit in a seat and that I couldn’t share or have a DC on my lap.
It’s highly likely any of my future children will also have this condition. Dn’s all have it, and it’s on both sides of the family. DC’s would also need seats.
My DM who is nearly sixty, bless her heart is actually much more able to stand than myself or DN.
it’s got nothing to do with respect for elders? Just need

The OP mentioned an elderly man and a pregnant woman standing in the waiting room. I'd have given up my seat and so would my children because that's the decent thing to do. It isn't holier than thou, it's human decency, long ago and right now.

TO be fair while I'd never judge an individual parent or an individual person who didn't give up their seat or put a child on their lap. I do sometimes feel exasperated when there's a room full of young looking people none of whom give up their seats for people who are clearly in need. It may well be that one or two of the people who look healthy actually aren't and need the seat too but it would be very unlikely that most of them had hidden disabilities so lots of them just can't be bothered to get up.

Urgh, kids are people too! They aren't second class citizens ffs.

And I'd rather sit on the floor myself than force my child out of their seat! 😡

This is a bizarre concern to have imo. I don't make my kids get up for adults, but if I felt a person was struggling to stand I would offer my seat. And quite frankly, if my child (4yrs) was sitting at all in a doctors surgery that alone would be an indication they're quite ill!

I agree that the surgery needs to provide more seating if people are having to stand while waiting. Your replies, OP, have been quite rude imo. It's really easy to judge, the hard part is trying to understand why someone might do something differently to you. Lots of great suggestions being made here for you to ponder :-)

@Fabaunt

What if the parent has no childcare? Do they leave the child at home by themselves just so some adult at the doctors surgery can get a seat???!!!

Yes, to be honest. Theyre taking up seats from people who are unwell and are left to stand, actual patients. If you’re not willing to let them stand for someone who needs the seat more (a patient) don’t bring them.

I've just seen this one. My word, you're suggesting that a mum should actually leave her DC at home alone? That's a shocking suggestion.

Quite apart from the risks involved, especially with younger children, how would she explain that decision to SS if someone reported her. I doubt they would think much of the explanation that she didn't want to deprive genuine patients at her surgery of a seat.

It's fuck all about manners!
The child was able to stand up, so were you. You are equal human beings.
You stood up. The child didn't have to.
End of fucking story!
Your children are well mannered are they? I wonder where they learned that behaviour from cos judging by your replies, it's not from you!

Back in myyyyyyyy day there was no such thing as disrespectful or rude people. Everyone walked around like Stepford fuckin wives. It is only the youf of today who are like that. Bring back hanging or something. Where’s my daily mail got to

I hate the world. People are judgemental and have a bug bear about everything. I think it's why my anxiety has sky rocketed since having children. My children are hard work.

It's a doctors surgery. Life happens. Well done you for giving up your seat. Shame on that mother for not insisting her kids do the same.... 🤦🏻‍♀️

maybe the child was to ill to stand? im that situation i would give up my seat.

Do I need to announce my age when I walk into a room or a bus or train to see if I'm in luck of getting a chair this time round 😂

Honestly the easiest thing I've learnt is not to give a shit.
If people judge me for something like sitting in a seat or not moving my child from a seat so what?
They are strangers. They have no effect on my life at all. They can't do anything to me or my child.

My DP couldn't get a seat when his abdominal surgery had ruptured. He had a 5 inch hole in his abdomen, leaking fluid.
He's a man, so why would anyone move?
We spoke to the receptionist, and she stated that he should stand. He lifted his shirt, and he was moved to a bed in a private room very quickly.
Sometimes communication is key.

An ambulance was not needed - it just needed dressing correctly. It was major surgery though.
Not sure how you could have known by looking at him.