My dd has a disability that means the main symptom is pain. Pain is not something you can see.
She's also very stoic and hates drawing attention to herself about it. We've even attended the Drs while she's had a knee that's badly swollen & strapped up but she's wearing loose fitting trousers (partly for ease of dressing, partly as I said as she doesn't like people noticing) and while she's seated you'd have NO idea what was wrong.
I have a disability that also isn't visible but causes pain & instability that also if a child beyond say 5/6 yo (and small for age at that) were to sit on my lap for any length of time would mean when we were called through I wouldn't be able to stand immediately as I'd be numb and legs not working!
Absolutely possible we could be sitting in our own seats smiling, even laughing through any pain while we waited, especially if the painkillers we used were starting to take effect (which they don't necessarily help much with pain immediately) but can have weird effects on emotions, mine I have even been told can make me appear/seem "tipsy", also makes me extremely dizzy & nauseous so the result of a jiggly child on my lap is not something you want to be sat next to!
Entirely possible when dd was school age we could have been sitting in that surgery awaiting an appointment for either of us and you judging us both capable of giving up our seats when we really weren't!
Numerous pps have also pointed out there's a number of other conditions that ALSO would not be visible to you, not necessarily physical conditions, that could explain why those parents made the decision they did but you're REFUSING to accept those reasons.
It is NOT your place to judge patients in a waiting room and if they're ill enough to need a seat.
"Can I just point out too that these woman were at the doctors for themselves and not the children,Unless the children go by MRS" ahhhh so you're also ONLY blaming mothers! Nice!
In addition as has ALREADY BEEN POINTED OUT the children may not have been there for an appointment themselves DOESN'T mean they don't ALSO have conditions causing them pain, instability or where there's eg conditions like asd to consider.
Also I'm a single parent, I didn't have anyone who could have taken dd when I attended Drs appointments if they were outside school hours.
On a sat depending on how that particular Surgery operates its possible those patients needed to be seen urgently or that they are unable to attend in the week because they work and have shitty presenteeism pushing bosses!
The fact is YOU DON'T KNOW and it's actually none of your business. You see to your own behaviour and don't concern yourself with that of others in a situation like that, where it's pretty bloody obvious there's likely to be good reasons for the decisions those PARENTS made.
When dd and/or I are well enough/steady enough to give up our seats to people obviously more infirm than us we do, but to do so PURELY based on age is ridiculous! I have an aunt in her 60's who's in far better physical condition than us she runs marathons several times a year ffs! The idea that dd or I need to give up our seats for her when we're in pain, unsteady on our feet JUST because she's an "elder" (which I think that description she'd actually find insulting to be honest) would be utterly ridiculous!
I've also brought my child up well & with good manners which I've been complimented on - doesn't mean she needs to be a martyr to nonsensical judgments of others though!
Aren’t you lucky that your children are fit and healthy enough to be able to stand!
Hear hear! And that you are too and that none of you are frequently in pain and unable to move well and even sitting for long periods causing pain!
"I think it’s the op who needs to learn those things joy" totally agree - and a few others!
"People on mumsnet are obsessed by invisible illnesses and disabilities." Not "obsessed" but a lot of users HAVE invisible conditions and are well used to the crappy attitudes of others who ASSUME because we "look" well (which is what op is basing her assessments on).
"The thread is referring to the people who don’t have invisible reasons not to have the common courtesy to give up a seat for an elderly or infirm person." No the op has ASSUMED the people she observed are well enough to stand or sit in a lap or that the adult can have them on their lap without knowing anything about them! Not the same thing.
"surely a mum would prefer to go to the doctors' surgery on a weekday whilst kids are in school??" Yea cos mums never have jobs outside the home eh? 🙄
"well they managed to walk in and out there pretty fine. No mention of pain feeling ill" ffs now you really are being ridiculous! Do you REALLY expect them to announce their ailments either verbally or by some sort of mime?! NOBODY at the Drs does that!
The dr calls you through you get up and go in as best you can and that may well STILL not show others in the waiting room that you're in pain/nauseous/dizzy/faint/have a ld etc
"it was pretty obvious that they were able bodied because it was the mothers appointment!" And again JUST because it's not their appointment that time DOESN'T mean they DON'T have a disability or chronic illness!
"Ect not extra" actually it's etc.
"cool so all I have to do to make ds able bodied is take him to an appointment with me and everything will be sorted! Why didn’t someone tell me that sooner" yep by that reasoning dd was cured YEARS ago merely by BEING in a Drs surgery 🙄🤔
"My two year old is big for his age, he looks 3 or 4" I had this with dd due to her height, especially as I'm a short arse! Didn't know at the time she had her condition which one of the indicators is far taller than could reasonably be predicted by parents height (ex a shorty too), often had strangers expecting behaviour of her that she wasn't mature enough for.
Wow! Your update at 1439! I'm very sorry your children have had such difficulties but it means you should be MORE understanding not less!
And being a martyr isn't praiseworthy! although I suspect that post was virtue signalling nonsense
Helping others where possible & practical yes, but to the detriment of yourself is just daft!
What dd and I HAVE noticed is when we do give up our seats, or hold a door open, or fetch a high up grocery item in the supermarket for someone struggling (dd is tall and has long arms, weirdly due to to her condition) we VERY rarely get a thank you!
I've had older folk let doors go in my face (inc when I've been on crutches!), queue jump, push me aside physically rather than say "excuse me, in a hurry" even though it's obvious I'm moving slowly due to disability! Verbally abuse me for not standing on buses/trains, for sitting in the priority seats - again even when I was on crutches! Claiming they were only for pensioners! On that occasion I was lucky a conductor was passing by & basically told the passenger to wind her neck in! That the seats were for anyone needing for mobility reasons to take those seats and as I was on crutches it was obvious I needed to! Truly appalling behaviour!
Dd has had the most APPALLING verbal abuse on buses and trains when she hasn't stood (she isn't stable and has ended up with numerous sprained ankles and knees from being stood on buses/trains which have stopped just a bit more abruptly than they should. Had a few occasions when she's been sent flying as a bus drivers had to do emergency stops because she can't grip poles firmly and ended up with busted cheeks as well as damaged joints and cuts and bruises) even when she's with friends & family who've stood for others and have EXPLAINED to people that she's disabled, she's even been told (on several occasions!) that she must have got her blue pass fraudulently! 😡
To the point it's had her in tears and reluctant to travel!
Utterly disgusting behaviour from the very people who would likely respond to this thread that it's CHILDREN who lack good manners!
Good manners cuts both ways!
Empathy and an open mind are qualities I hope to instil in my kids yep!
"To be honest I’m not sure why all these people were bothering to wait for a GP when the OP is able to diagnose them simply by looking" yep! Nhs needs to hire her straight away! Though I think crapita might be more her people!
"well yes because I saw her walk in and out. So that's irrelevant." Yep definitely a candidate for pip assessor role!
"and what a great time the 1950s must of been" oh yea great time! When kids with moderate to severe disabilities were often institutionalised, shunned and not treated! As for "no entitled kids/teenagers causing havoc" your ignorance is showing! The 50's is largely when the "teenager" came into being! And have you not heard of teddy boys? Rock n roll? Please!
"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise" care to guess when that was said? Without googling?
"If children are taught by their parents to judge in such a way and feel morally superior on that basis then I would consider that far more impolite." Absolutely!