Was I unreasonable to tell him to shower?

[UserUser123]

9:48pm and I’ve just told my DP to go have a shower. He’s “worked” from home since Wednesday so sat all day on his laptop “working” then when 5pm comes, the laptop goes off and he retreats to the bedroom to play either his MacBook or Xbox. He hasn’t showered since Tuesday.

He did the same today and has just come in the living room saying he had finished playing the Xbox and it was “us” time now. I was a bit pussed off by this and told him he stank and to go get a wash. He just got up and left the living room, I don’t even think he’s went into the shower...I think he’s went back to the computer

I do feel quite bad for being abrupt with him but he’s 37 years old so shouldn’t need to be “told” when to shower.

Was I unreasonable?

Er, no. Once a day is a minimum requirement here with the exception of serious illness.

Personal hygiene problem I'm afraid YANBU

Not at all....me and DH will quite happily tell each other if we smell and to go get a wash (neither gets upset by it)

Gross! Not unreasonable at all. Bleurgh.

I can't imagine getting to the state of being told by my partner that I needed to wash..

Is everything else ok with his life?

He's not showered since Tuesday, it's now Friday and he wants to get down and dirty......... errrrrrr nope, not unreasonable at all. Eeewwwww.

You appear to be married to my teenage brother

Seriously though where do these men come from? No shower, playing on his xbox and thinks he can wander in and get his rocks off.

Suspect you can aim a bit higher than this OP.

Eww no! I would have told him too. That’s just not necessary. Personal hygiene on a basic level. My dh is really good about showering, and I’ve never known him to skip a day in the 27yrs we’ve been together. My sons on the other hand will occasionally try to get away with it, and I will tell them they stink (and I will continue to point it out until they go and have a shower!). It’s just so disgusting.

DH doesn’t shower on his day off, sometimes. I shower daily, unless I’m sick in bed. I just tell him. I used to feel bad, but it’s him not me!

I wouldn't be going near do if he hadn't washed in days. Likewise I wouldn't expect him to come anywhere me let alone want to have sex if I'd not washed either, so YANBU.

@Gatehouse77

I’m that same - could never not shower every day. I bathe the kids every day too.

He only seems to shower on days he goes to the gym which is 4/5 days a week but this week he’s been too busy with the computer(s)

Topcat - Yea everything is fine with his life, he’s just lazy.

He’s still not showered and has just come through to the living room asking me if I’m coming into the bedroom!! WTAF

Yes he should have had a shower Daily. However why the “worked” and the “working”?! Is there something else going on? Do you resent him working from home? Is he not actually doing any work?

What? He's a pongy manchild who gives you no attention, can't be arsed to wash his own arse and then announces it's time to get his rocks off because he wants? What exactly is attractive about this man? Ewww.

I wont go near DH unless I've showered.....I'm a but sweaty lately ( think it's age related ! )
But yes, you are perfectly right ! I'd do the same.... he'll get over it !

Yanbu. When I first met my DH he only showered twice a week, apparently that's what his parents did. Grim. He now showers daily, I would pack my bags if he didn't.

He’s still not showered and has just come through to the living room asking me if I’m coming into the bedroom!! WTAF confused

WTAF? Tell him 'NO. You haven't washed. I've had dogs that were cleaner.'

Not sure what's worse - the lack of shower or the x box

Why do you know when he last showered? Are you the household shower monitor or something?!
I couldn't tell you when my DH last showered? It could of been today, it could of been yesterday.... Im not his mum!

Tell him not until he's showered!
I can be a soap dodger. For example I showered this morning but I'm alone tonight and I'm doing housework tomorrow so I'll shower sometime tomorrow. However if my partner were here I'd have a shower this evening.
My partner will come in from work on the night he stays and put comfy clothes on. Before bed if he doesn't look like showering I'll say I'll come up once you've showered. I honestly think he wouldn't bother if I didn't prompt. If he refused I'd be blunter or dump him. What you do in your own time is your own business but if people are bedsharing you clean up!

Wow you're a very lucky girl!

Gross. Daily showers in this house, anything else is grim.
And what’s with the endless computer playing?

What a minger! Uuurgh, hate to think of the state of his undercarriage.

@JuniperBeer

He does do some work whilst working from home, but most of the time is spent on the BBC sport website. He’s got to have the laptop on though so he can be signed into his emails and be seen as available. I, myself work full time but have been signed off work for 2 weeks due to some pregnancy related ailments (I’m 33 weeks preg) so have noticed this week, when I’ve been at home too, that he doesn’t actually do much work.