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Original poster

Was I unreasonable to tell him to shower?

103 replies

UserUser123 · 08/02/2019 21:57

9:48pm and I’ve just told my DP to go have a shower. He’s “worked” from home since Wednesday so sat all day on his laptop “working” then when 5pm comes, the laptop goes off and he retreats to the bedroom to play either his MacBook or Xbox. He hasn’t showered since Tuesday.

He did the same today and has just come in the living room saying he had finished playing the Xbox and it was “us” time now. I was a bit pussed off by this and told him he stank and to go get a wash. He just got up and left the living room, I don’t even think he’s went into the shower...I think he’s went back to the computer Confused

I do feel quite bad for being abrupt with him but he’s 37 years old so shouldn’t need to be “told” when to shower.

Was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
UserUser123 · 08/02/2019 22:29

@Fattymcfaterson

Because I’ve been at home all week unwell and so has he but I’ve not seen him shower once! He last went to the gym on Tuesday and I know he takes a shower after his workout. That’s how I know!! Is that a good enough answer for you ffs?!

OP posts:
Notcontent · 08/02/2019 22:41

I know there are lots of people on mumsnet who claim they and their DP/DC don’t need to bath/shower daily as they don’t smell, but I am sorry to say that’s just not true...

SpanielEars070 · 08/02/2019 22:43

Someone will trot along in a minute and tell you he's depressed.

Personally I think he's a lazy get and I wouldn't have sex with someone with such dodgy hygiene standards.

multivac · 08/02/2019 22:45

I know there are lots of people on mumsnet who claim they and their DP/DC don’t need to bath/shower daily as they don’t smell, but I am sorry to say that’s just not true

You're mistaken. There is literally no 'need' for anyone to bath/shower ever.

Gardai · 08/02/2019 22:45

Boak
And you’re 33 weeks pregnant Confused

Femaleassassin · 08/02/2019 22:46

Maybe when the baby comes your partner will stop playing video games and have a wash or maybe he'll continue being a boy child Hmm

multivac · 08/02/2019 22:46

...and anyone who thinks 'not showering daily' is the issue in this relationship is, frankly, monumentally deluded...

SemperIdem · 08/02/2019 22:50

As long as a person doesn’t smell, a shower every other day is probably ok (I prefer a daily shower personally). Unless they want to have sex. In which case, no it is not ok. Absolutely not

He does sound like a tosser, op.

Original poster
UserUser123 · 08/02/2019 22:51

Spaniel - haha, yea I’m waiting on that. He’s not depressed at all though, just lazy.

He wasn’t like this when we just met (at least I don’t think he was!) but I have noticed that, since he has moved in, he never takes a shower at home. I do believe he showers at the gym though - or at least I hope he does!

But, as I said before, I’ve not been at work this week...he’s worked from home since Wednesday... so we’ve both been in each other’s company 24/7... and I’ve not seen him shower once.

And just to let you all know, I am VERY hygiene conscious and shower/bathe daily. I also keep my home incredibly clean so hate the thought of him sleeping in our bed when he hasn’t washed for days.

OP posts:
Prisonbreak · 08/02/2019 22:52

I’d tell my man if he was stinky. I’ve thankfully never had to as his personal hygiene is great.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to tell someone to shower, but I think it’s sad that he wouldn’t recognise that in himself

Vicky1990 · 08/02/2019 22:53

So when you are together you tell him to go away?, no wonder he is pissed of with you, how would you have felt if he said that to you ?.

AguerosAngel · 08/02/2019 22:54

Minging!

I’d of been telling him to get in the shower by the Wednesday, the scruffy horror!

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 08/02/2019 22:56

YANBU I can’t bear B.O.

My ex was a revolting bastard who was too lazy to to shower most of the time. Judging by how he, his car and our children smell after contact, nothing much has changed. No excuse for a healthy person to not wash regularly, preferably every day.

Lovingbenidorm · 08/02/2019 22:56

That’s beyond rank

Original poster
UserUser123 · 08/02/2019 23:03

@Vicky1990

I didn’t tell him to go away. I said to him to go and get a wash. He’s played his computer non stop for days, and hasn’t washed in days as he’s too lazy. How do you think that makes me feel?

OP posts:
Variousartists · 08/02/2019 23:05

Are you sure he showers in the gym?Confused

TakemebacktoClifton · 08/02/2019 23:06

Good god what is wrong with the man?! That’s filthy. And what a turn off re the Xbox

Original poster
UserUser123 · 08/02/2019 23:10

@Variousartists

Anytime I’ve been to the gym with him he has showered afterwards so I can only assume that’s when he does shower, as he doesn’t at home. I hope my assumption is correct 😐

OP posts:
supersop60 · 08/02/2019 23:11

Is he my teenage son? Yanbu to ask him to shower.
Yabu to say "he's went".

sagradafamiliar · 08/02/2019 23:11

Ywnbu he's a dirty sod.

multivac · 08/02/2019 23:13

I hope my assumption is correct
Why? If you can't tell anyway?

Original poster
UserUser123 · 08/02/2019 23:20

He’s went = he has went. “I think he has went back to the computer”

There’s always one 🙄

OP posts:
katseyes7 · 08/02/2019 23:21

My ex husband once had a week off work and didn't shower or wash the entire time. Then tried to instigate sex.
Which goes a long way to explain why he's an ex. lt's disgusting.

Femaleassassin · 08/02/2019 23:22

Are you not worried about the x box more than the cleanliness?

Wallsbangers · 08/02/2019 23:24

Is he wearing some old random clothes as well?

I couldn't cope with anything/anyone smelly when I was pregnant, made me feel all gippy.

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