Was I unreasonable to tell him to shower?

[UserUser123]

9:48pm and I’ve just told my DP to go have a shower. He’s “worked” from home since Wednesday so sat all day on his laptop “working” then when 5pm comes, the laptop goes off and he retreats to the bedroom to play either his MacBook or Xbox. He hasn’t showered since Tuesday.

He did the same today and has just come in the living room saying he had finished playing the Xbox and it was “us” time now. I was a bit pussed off by this and told him he stank and to go get a wash. He just got up and left the living room, I don’t even think he’s went into the shower...I think he’s went back to the computer

I do feel quite bad for being abrupt with him but he’s 37 years old so shouldn’t need to be “told” when to shower.

Was I unreasonable?

@Femaleassassin

What do you have against the Xbox? Would you same the same about watching TV for a few hours? Not being bitchy, just wondering.

'initiate', not 'instigate'!

Yuk - sounds like a teenager, on the Xbox all the time, then being nagged into washing🤢. I don’t understand soap dodgers.

I'm a total soap dodger when working from home.

Our weekend starts Thursday night. I had a shower before bed last night, have mooched about all day in pyjamas, & showered early evening today because I was going out - otherwise I'd still be slobbing about in the tshirt & pyjama bottoms I put on last night.

I'm pretty sure I don't smell after 24-36 hours of pottering about in my weekend scruffs & not doing anything physically strenuous.

However - if I'm going out, obviously I'd shower as part of making myself presentable. If I were planning on having sex with someone, of course I'd shower!

Yuk. YANBU.

OP, sorry about being the grammar police, but 'he's went' should be 'he's gone'. That's why that PP said YABU.

I do agree about your OH, though, he sounds rank! And lazy! My DH works from home one day a week, and he goes into his office (I call it his man cave lol) and really does work! Our DDs have learnt not to disturb him.

Given the non-washing, the "working" and gaming non-stop, and the laziness, does he partake in family time, spend time with the children, do his share of household stuff and care for you since you are 33 weeks pregnant? Sounds like a real charmer.....

'He has went' - are you in Scottishland OP?

The same place as they say 'What like is the weather?' instead of what is the weather like? It can make for an interesting conversation during an evening out.

Where I am it is 'He has gone'

Is the OP's grammar in any way relevant? Jesus Christ.

@SpringForEver

Yep - Scottish. So, he has went is perfectly normal speak for us whether it’s grammatically correct or not 🙂

I do find the grammar police on Mumsnet quite amusing tbh.

@PCohle

Totally agree. I remember I wrote “he done” once on a post on here, instead of “he did” and loadsss I’d people gave me shit for it 😂 quite sad really!

It's just a regional thing, people aren't used to it. When you have friends from Scotland you don't worry about it, once you get the hang of it. I did have to say 'What??' quite often at first though .

I see 'He's went' and it reminds me of an old friend and makes me smile.

I’m Scottish and I never say “he’s went,” and I certainly don’t find it “perfectly normal ideal here!”
Nor do I say, “he done.”
I really judge those who use poor grammar.

I haven't had a shower since the weekend. I'm not remotely proud of this and feel disgusting, particularly my hair. Wouldn't normally shower everyday, but every other. At the moment though I'm in a deep depression and it's a struggle to even get out of bed in the morning (in fact I only am when I have to take DDto school and even then we're late).

Regional, my arse.
It’s just poor grammar.

Oh, and I don't have a partner to make me feel worse about my complete lack of motivation and energy.

*perfectly normal speak
I have no idea where ideal came from as that is not what I typed.
My phone must have did it to annoy me

Why is gaming so bad? I play on the xbox with my husband for an hour or 2 some nights. It's no different than watching TV.

@Icouldbehappy Well said.

Eww gross. YANBU.
Gag

I shower every day but I really don't think that he would get very dirty/smelly in 3 days when he's only lounging around the house. It doesn't sound like he's done anything to break a sweat. Yes, he should have a shower but some of the reactions are a bit much.

I wonder if he does actually shower at the gym though.

TheBouquets
Thank you. I was suitably enraged by those claims!

I don’t understand the problem with the gaming, as long as it’s not all day or anything. It’s just like watching a movie or something. Weird.

Whereas I really judge those who derail threads with pedantic judgmental nonsense.

I don't think people should be required to have an English degree and spend 45 minutes proofreading their posts before being allowed to seek support on MN. As your own post demonstrates, typos can happen to anyone.

unfortunately if he is acting like a child (by not taking responsibility for his own personal hygiene) then he will be treated like a child.

You are being perfectly reasonable.