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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mortifying situation

255 replies

PooleySpooley · 06/02/2019 23:28

I am doing futher education through my work.

I am a professional and now have to do one of the core subjects which I never achieved at GCSE (not English), lied about but couldn’t produce the certificate so have to do an evening class.

I have started, it’s a small group of very mixed abilities and there is a teacher and a TA type person.

Tonight she stood over me twice (while I was trying to remember the basics and was perfectly capable of doing them) and then she sat next to me and was doing the work with me - asking questions to help me like I am about 5.

I said I think I have this thanks but she seemed really upset and offended.

WTF do I do? I am quite intelligent am not an idiot but I just didn’t manage to get this at school Sad

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 07/02/2019 07:16

And good luck with the course :)

pictish · 07/02/2019 07:17

And I might be wrong about that...but that’s what immediately jumps out at me. OP is being haughty.

lljkk · 07/02/2019 07:28

"It gets on my nerves and I feel hassled when you hover."
It's blunt, but it's relatable.

lljkk · 07/02/2019 07:28

ps: what kind of tumour did you have on your spine? Are you in long term remission or was it benign or something like NF?

BitOutOfPractice · 07/02/2019 07:41

lljkk what's that hot to do with anything? Or any of your business?

OP I'm guessing you feel embarrassed at the position you find yourself in. But you just need to tell the TA that the hovering makes you nervous and can you ask for help when you need it please. But really, she's just doing her job.

MyLearnedFriend · 07/02/2019 07:42

Bloody hell. OP has clearly fallen foul of the cardinal MN rule about how teachers and TAs can do no wrong.

Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

OP. Congratulations on beating your addiction. That’s an incredible thing to do. In terms of this course, just send an email explaining that you’d prefer to be left to see what you can do alone and if you need extra help, you’ll ask.

Best of luck!

dragoning · 07/02/2019 07:42

Say something like 'I find it difficult to concentrate when people look over my shoulder. Would you mind if I just give you a shout when I get stuck?'

Good luck with the course OP. Something like this probably lies in my future too.

Karwomannghia · 07/02/2019 07:44

I think you’re getting a hard time because the TA was well meaning but you were quite standoffish towards her. No idea why she would graduate towards you, maybe your don’t come near vibes were misinterpreted as I don’t know what I’m doing?!
I get irritated when someone tries to tell me something I already know but the proof is in the pudding. She’ll soon realise you don’t need it.
Also fractions is one of those things you forget about as soon as you leave school, but can soon pick up again after a quick reminder of the methods.

JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 07/02/2019 07:45

God I hate it when someone stands over me. My hand starts to freeze and so does
my brain. It doesn’t matter if the person is trying to help, I just need to do it in my own time and ask for help when needed. I say this as someone with a degree. You have my sympathies.

lljkk · 07/02/2019 07:50

Friend has NF2 & has a tumour at base of her spine. I'm curious how people survive it.
I just read Henry Marsh's book all about removing brain tumours.... but really all about how people struggle with right decisions about how to deal with them.
I'm always curious how people's lives turn out. How they deal with challenges.
Yup. I'm dead nosy. I'm sure OP is tough enough to ignore if she wants.

Unutterable · 07/02/2019 07:58

MitziK your tone on this thread is an embarrassment. Read it back to yourself.

TatianaLarina · 07/02/2019 08:01

Surely if you were fighting a spinal tumour you missed most/all your GCSEs not just maths?

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 07/02/2019 08:07

To clarify - I do not consider myself “above” the TA.

OP posts:
Atalune · 07/02/2019 08:08

Christ you’re getting a hard time on here!

well bloody done for going back to school, overcoming cancer and drug addiction.

GirlRaisedInTheSouth · 07/02/2019 08:10

Just grit your teeth and focus on understanding the work. Don’t worry about how you look - it’s not school Grin.

MarthasGinYard · 07/02/2019 08:13

If you find it a 'piece of piss' on a serious note, can you not just do the exam without having to do the course etc?

I'm thinking if it's for work it's a tick in the box scenario....Pooley Maths tick etc....

Can you just sit the exam?

GirlRaisedInTheSouth · 07/02/2019 08:13

And loads of people lie on their CV. I did. I only got 1 GCSE but lied and said I got, well, a few more than that.

However, I ended up with a 2:1 in a difficult subject at university so don’t feel so bad now 😁.

Italiangreyhound · 07/02/2019 08:16

pictish

"I think that you think you’re ‘above’ being helped by a TA.
You’re not."

And

"but she can’t do maths...unlike the TA who can and is there to help her learn."

I'm not sure how you could write this to a person who suffered cancer as a child. You do realise how ridiculous that makes you look, right?

U2HasTheEdge · 07/02/2019 08:16

The OP might be a ‘professional’ but she can’t do maths

She can. She just missed the exam.

what kind of tumour did you have on your spine? Are you in long term remission or was it benign or something like NF?

None of your business. I can't believe you asked.

OP, if you scored 99%. I would look into doing some revision at home then going straight for the exam.

Triffictriffid · 07/02/2019 08:20

I don’t understand what’s so hard. Just nicely tell TA that you feel a bit on edge if someone sits by you and can you just call her over if you need some help?

It’s also fine to have started the lesson explaining odd and even numbers. It’s like a beginner cookery course. You can’t assume that everyone will know how to boil an egg. If the course is something that just has to be done then just go along with it. My friends DH is a consultant paed anaesthiatist and recently had to go on a hand washing course. To say it was like teaching your grandma how to suck eggs was an understatement as he’s been in surgery for around 40 years but he did it with good grace as it was required and without needing to make a fuss about how he didn’t need to be doing it etc.

Pinkcottonshirt · 07/02/2019 08:31

he did it with good grace as it was required and without needing to make a fuss about how he didn’t need to be doing it etc.

Because he didn’t feel threatened by the situation.

Pinkcottonshirt · 07/02/2019 08:34

I am a professional and now have to do one of the core subjects which I never achieved at GCSE (not English), lied about but couldn’t produce the certificate so have to do an evening class.

I am struck by how blasé you are about this! I think you’re very lucky to have got away with just being asked to do a qualification, and a low level one at that.

SaturdayNext · 07/02/2019 08:34

I wouldn't necessarily assume that you don't need help. There may well be easier ways of doing things than you were taught 35 years ago.

Thecabbageassasin · 07/02/2019 08:41

I don’t understand what’s so mortifying about a ta trying to help you and you just politely explaining that ‘ I got this thanks’.

Im a similar age to you and went back to do my maths GCSE a few years back, the classes are made up of people from all walks of life with their own stories. Some where doing it for their work, others because they wanted to help their kids with their homework. I quite enjoyed it in the end, I never thought I’d say that about maths.

IrmaFayLear · 07/02/2019 08:42

I think the OP's back story is irrelevant.

The fact is she is sitting in a Maths class with the aim of passing the exam. If help isn't needed, as others have said, Big Smile and "I'm ok, thanks," and head back down.

As SaturdayNext observes, Maths has changed a great deal (well, the methods, anyway) and looking at other ways of working something out and learning the new terms and definitions can only be helpful when sitting an exam in 2019 as opposed to 1992 or whenever.