9 year old daughter told to wear sports bra/crop top

[movinonup]

DD came to me last night saying that she needed a sports bra or crop top for P.E in the future as the teacher had told this to a group of girls who had been doing gymnastics and their tshirts had fallen down when doing handstands .

I can only assume this is to cover up their 9 year old nipples for fear of...........what exactly?

Are the boys to cover their nipples also?

AIBU to be cross about this?

[OvO]

Oh god, I still remember the utter humiliation of being pulled aside by a femal teacher after PE, when I was 10, and told it was time I started wearing a proper bra. I was already wearing the crop top style.

It wasn’t even my teacher, my teacher was male so obviously they had a discussion about me and MY BOOBS and thought that was the way to deal with it.

It was not.

I’m angry that your DD has been made to feel bad or awkward about her body. I’m 38 and that moment has stuck with me.

[GerryblewuptheER]

Primary school pe kits are often inadequate; baggy shorts standing around in winter are just not fair. I think schools could be a bit more flexible about pe kit
Oh God yes.

One size does not fit all. The uniform.shop t shirts are ridiculously wide..once you have one long enough you are swamped

Sports leggings are fab. Far easier to find ones that fit over jogging bottoms.

Baggy flappy shirts are annoying without the chest exposure stuff....

But then I don't get uniform anyway tbh. Seems to require far too many additional items to make it fit for purpose. Shorts under skirts. Tights. Sports bras. Vests under shirts then white shirts thenTank tops over shirts under a blazer.

Never seems to occur to make the original items suitable individually

[MulticolourMophead]

Nobody needs a bra, they are a fashion item, invented by the film industry in living memory.

I've seen medieval examples in museums.

[Confusedbeetle]

@Movin on up
sorry I did miss that bit. It is easy to miss odd posts so no need to snip. There are a lot of fairly heated opinions on here, all from each posters point of view. I may have worded this badly but what I mean is, firstly we don't really know what your daughter and her friends think about this, more comfortable, less comfortable. Secondly, I think you should be having a conversation with the teacher to understand her motivation. In typically MN style the attacks are winging around with scant knowledge of the child or the teacher's feelings, Did anyone even mention nipples. Some budding breasts are tender during sport for example. Obviously, not your child or she might prefer the crop top

[Ifangyow]

@EyeOfTheTigger. I understand what you're saying, but in that case the teacher should be tackling the boys about their attitudes rather than the girls being told to cover up.
It's attitudes like that teachers that keep females in the Victorian era. My God, cover that table leg quick before a man sees it and rapes the milk maid 😱
Boys should be educated right from the start about what is an acceptable attitude and what isn't. And what isn't an acceptable attitude is females being told to hide their bodies and sexuality, because to do so simply feeds the misogynistic attitude that reduces women to mere sexual objects.
I'm not a feminist by any stretch of imagination, but I have the attitude that females have the right to wear what they and they alone feel comfortable in, and that extends to underwear.
That teacher is out of order.

[TadaTralala]

OP no need to get ratty .

[EyeOfTheTigger]

@Ifangyow I absolutely agree with your sentiments. I never said I believed it should be the case that girls should be made to cover up. Unfortunately lots of young boys (not all) are very immature and some parents do a shit job of teaching them to respect girls. I was just speculating that this could possibly be why the teacher made the comment to the girls. It would be a very poor way of dealing with such behaviour from boys (to deflect on to the girls). I guess we won't know what was the reason behind the request until the OP hears back from the teacher.

[Peppapig254]

My daughter wears them and has done since she was about 7 and a half. Although she doesnt have anything there, she asked for them as her friends had them and it made her feel more comfortable. I cant see a problem with the teacher mentioning it at all.

[BHStowel]

@missingstreetlife

Thank you. I came on to post just that but you got there first.

[RiverTam]

I find it really depressing that girls are wearing unnecessary garments (where it is unnecessary, I mean) from such a young age. I absolutely loathe wearing a bra (massive tits) and the idea of 7 year olds wearing crop tops... I don't know. It really bothers me. Glad DD is at a school where what anyone else is wearing is of zero interest (non-uniform school, rather dippy-hippy, wonder if that's why?).

[Fabaunt]

I don’t think the teacher was being unreasonable. The girls are about to, if some haven’t already, start puberty. They would be self conscious and I’m sure not comfortable with people accidentally seeing their changing bodies. If wearing a crop top during PE saves them the upset or embarrassment of their growing breasts, however slight, then it may be worth taking on board. I would hope that any adult in a school setting would catch a glimpse of a child’s body and see it for what it is, a child’s body, and not sexual. So I doubt it’s for the teachers comfort. Don’t you remember what it was like to be hitting puberty? It was horrendous!! I know I used to belt around the house wearing only a vest, because that was normal for me. I had no body issues! Then I noticed hair starting to grow and I was horrified, and I wouldn’t even walk around with just knickers on. Now I’m old, and I will happily walk around with a T-shirt and knickers but that comes with age. You have those 5 little girls not at all self conscious, and boom one day, 1 will be self conscious because she’s Tina titties and the other 4 will still have 2 backs. Then you’ll have 4 Tina titties and 1 girl with nothing and she’ll be upset. It’s a hard time to be a girl and I would hope the teacher was trying to be as kind as possible with the suggestion.

All that said, if your little girl is ok not wearing a crop top or a sports bra, and doesn’t mind if her top falls up, that’s absolutely fine too. As long she won’t be upset. Because at the end of the day, I think we’ll all agree, teacher included, it’s most important that the children aren’t upset.

[Oldbutnotold]

We were that age when we started wearing them. I had to bed my mum for one. I finally got one and went away on a school trip. My bully then decided it was hers and told everyone that I stole hers.... was ganged up on. My mum then didn't buy me another one as she didn't believe me and thought I lost it... I was very embarrassed changing for pe as I was the only girl not wearing one. I think if your daughter has said something regardless of the teacher then you should butcher a crop top or similar.

[Oldbutnotold]

Beg not bed

[WhoWants2Know]

My eldest was certainly a B cup by 9. It happens.

[ittakes2]

So many girls and my daughters school were developed at that age - some earlier. Its madness but true - I agree with others - its to make sure the girls who are developed don't feel embarrassed. The girls that are developed are still only children - being singled out would be embarrassing for them. That said - I would have thought it made more sense for them to call the parents...but then they would be monitoring everyone's breast growth! So perhaps what they did was the better option. Being skinny is not linked to breast growth - my daughter's best friend started developing at 7/8 and at the time she was wearing a child's size 4 underwear.

[RiverTam]

no, sorry, I can't accept that. You're saying that those who don't need or want to wear crop tops must be forced to in order to make those who do need or want to feel better? What about those girls who stay flat-chested for ever? How about how they feel?

You cannot control in this manner. Far better to ensure everyone knows that everyone develops at different rates etc etc and come down hard and fast on any bullying.

[Racecardriver]

@missingstreetlife could you please tell thatto my lower back? It doesn’t seem to have got the message. Or maybe you comment only applies to perky C cups like the vast majority of everything that has anything remotely to do with breasts sigh

[BreastSideStory]

This is why my DD’s school has leotards instead of PE tops. Problem solved

[littlepeas]

My daughter is 9 - extremely athletic (competitive swimmer), very slim and muscular - she has also begun to develop breasts (at the budding stage and wears a crop top). It isn’t linked to weight ffs. I was an early developer too and was a gymnast! It’s genetic.

[HPLikecraft]

So some girls have breasts at 9? In which case those girls can wear a bra/crop top IF they and their parents decide that that's what's best for them at that time. For every girl in the class to wear one because some need it is a complete nonsense. And for the school to be deciding when girls wear bras is, to me, shockingly inappropriate. It's not their business at all.

I have a 9 YO DD who is completely flat chested and prepubescent. If school tell me that she needs wear a bralet (or any other prescribed underwear) then I'll be telling them to fuck off (though probably not in so many words. Probably).

As for singling out individuals, well I doubt very much the teacher would say "Olivia, you need to wear a bra!" to a child in front of the whole class. And again, it's really not teachers business.

[Bert2e]

Sorry littlepeas but you are wrong: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/4053451

[Igotthemheavyboobs]

I needed a proper bra by 9! There is no way I would have gone into PE without one, not for the boys but the other girls taking the piss! The boys in my class probably wouldn't have even noticed.

[Aridane]

Nobody needs a bra, they are a fashion item, invented by the film industry in living memory

If fucking only...