AIBU to be upset with DH?

[SSDGM]

I'm (supposed) to be going to Oz at the weekend. my DH has a few nights work there on a cruise ship so we are extending the trip beforehand. I couldnt get on the same flight as him so I will be travelling there alone.
Because we will be on a ship we need a specific add on to the usual Electronic visa which has to be applied for first. On monday I was working away from home so I asked him to complete my part of the visa as I am considered his companion. His came back as approved straight away but mine didnt. Turns out he ballsed it up. Under the section specifically asking if I've been known as any other names including before marriage he said no. He also said I was unemployed because he "couldnt remember" what my job title was and who I worked for. All info that needs to match when I finally apply for my ETA.
3 days later its still not approved and I fly on on Sunday.
Apparently is is my fault for asking him to do it because he's "not good at forms" (he managed to do his own) and I'm U because I'm worried that I now wont be able to go and I'm angry with him. He also says its his employers fault as they didnt tell us until Monday to get these visas. Again, his was approved straight away.

I've just spent £40 on the phone to Oz immigration to be told I have to wait and it could take a week. I stand to lose all the money I've paid for the flight and no holiday I had to book leave for.
Of course, I could get an email by the morning saying it's been approved.
I understand this is very much first world problems but surely he needs to take some responsibilty for this?

Why didn't he ask you for the bits he didn't know?

Yes, That was my question too. I was on the other end of the phone.

Your husband doesn't know who you work for? He's an idiot and I'd be furious.

THANK YOU. Yes he bloody is.

I don't understand why he would lie and not just ask you. It seems so simple and so ridiculous.

YANBU

Yes how on earth did he not manage to fill in a form like that (and somehow manage to get his filled in properly)

Is he not upset at the potential loss of money - or does he not see it as his money

That said is it just the cruise bit you cant do?

And its not his employers fault either - that is on him its not that difficult to figure it out

Is he always like this

I'd be absolutely raging OP. His attitude is shocking.

I've just asked him what we will do if it doesnt come back. He's insisting I just do my ETA without it, even though the guidelines say not to. He says worst case scenario I dont come on the cruise and have to make my own way to the end port to fly home. OR I can "just not bother" and he will give me the money back.
I've said I could accept if the application had not yet got through if he had filled it in correctly but he wont hear it (sorry, upset now) and he doesnt need me having a go at him.
I think all I want is an apology and admission he's cocked it up. At the minute he can sod off for two weeks for all I care.

I'd be furious. What a fucking useless prick.

In fact I'd cancel my work leave, cancel the holiday making him reimburse you (if your money is separate which it appears to be) then book a bloody amazing holiday when he's back and take my best friend with me instead of putting up with this whining manchild.

Do you have kids with him? If you don't already, don't bother. He'll be useless.

YANBU if he didn't know he could have asked. He seemed to be able to complete his form so don't believe he isn't good at filling in forms at all. I just think he couldn't be bothered to do it properly as it wasn't his form and tbh, sounds like he was annoyed he had to do yours.

Also, not first world problems, your worry and annoyance is very valid considering the cost and frustrations.

Oh god no. No kids. both in our 40s and finances are seperate. He's got serious only child syndrome sometimes and finds it hard to admit when he fucks up. I knew this when I married him but this situation is just baffling to me even with that knowledge.

The money isnt even the thing. I will have lost about £1k (which he can afford to give me back) but it is our wedding anniversary when we are supposed to be there. If it all falls through I might still just bugger off to a spa for a week.

It’s your fault. I have never understood why people off load these kinds of tasks to others and then kick off when something goes wrong.

You should have done something as important as this yourself.

It’s her fault?! Umm, no. A last minute bit of straightforward admin whenone of a couple is working should never be an issue.

He's not some random. He's my husband. I havent asked someone who doesnt know me, my life and what I do to fill it in.

What a cock, I'd be fuming.

He also seems rather less than bothered if you don't make the trip / or the cruise part which is a whole issue in itself.

Sorry OP, that's really shit, I hope you get it sorted.

I’d be absolutely fucking furious. That kind of incompetence (he is your husband yet he doesn’t know who you work for so he said you were unemployed??!) plus shrugging it off without taking responsibility for his cockup would give me the rage.

Yes, I agree, that's what's upset me the most. it was in the balance if I was going to get on the cruise and when I got permission I was delighted. Such a great opportunity and I'm so lucky to get it. But the fact he now doesnt even appear bothered or not if I go but he still gets this trip (two of his colleagues will be with him all the way through so he wont be alone) so that's ok.
If he would say he was worried too then I would feel better, I suppose, but its like it doesnt matter.

Australia conduct very thorough checks. If something on the VISA application is wrong they will know and it will be a problem. Sorry OP :(

What was he thinking? I'm sorry to be rude but forgetting that you had a maiden name and what job you used to do is stupid. I'm genuinely shocked by this thread.

Can you apply for the visa again? For the holiday one if you do it properly it usually comes back as approved almost straight away

I will add I'm not very good when decisions are out of my hands and I have to wait, so I am struggling with those feelings too, which arent his fault.

But he is still acting like a bellend.

What a complete bell end. I’m not surprised you’re fuming and the fact he’s taking no responsibility would tip me over the edge .
I’d really want to go so I’d be so disappointed but also inclined to tell him to go fuck himself and give me my money back.
Hope you can find a way to still go.

I’d be furious. If the wedding anniversary would be the cruise bit that you can’t do now I’d bugger the whole thing and book something fun with a friend. Most of us expect to be married to competent adults who can support us as they expect to be supported (ie remember our maiden name?! ) and who own their fuckups.

You should have done it yourself.

I work in travel so I'm aware of the stringent checks Oz make for entry. The ETA (Normal holiday visa) cannot be done until this one is approved. There is a form on the application where you can correct mistakes and I've filled those in.

I've said to him he doesnt seem to be that bothered about that fact I may not be abe to go and he's said I will, it will be sorted and he will worry about it when it happens. Nah. Doesn't work like that.

What a useless twat. I'd be boiling.

When I get really angry I usually go check into a hotel. DH coming home to a cold, dark house with no food is a pretty good indicator that I'm seriously pissed off. Meanwhile, I'm drinking wine, ordering room service, and lounging around in a dressing gown watching telly. That makes me feel much better. Cheers.

What an absolute twat!

Were you non contactable whilst he was not trying to fill in the form?

I've been married before & tbh I'm not sure that my husband would remember my previous married name.

I don't know his job title.

But I wouldn't have made stuff up!