Cleaner is refusing to soldier

[biscuitbrown]

I've been lucky enough to have a cleaner help out once a week since my first DD was born, we pay her well and we've always been super flexible, she works the day that suits her (rather than a Monday or Friday which I'd actually like). I've always thought we we had a friendship based on mutual respect and flexibility. She's not English and I've gladly helped her with insurance claims/mobile provider issues / school issues /hospital appointments etc. We give her a generous bonus at Christmas, we look after her. I've just gone back to work 3 days a week (long hours) and we've taken the huge step of getting an au pair, which is the first time we've had any childcare. Our au pair is brilliant - capable, trustworthy, hardworking, helpful, she cooks when I'm working, keeps their rooms tidy, washes their clothes, babysits etc. We found her through an agency and they explained how it is a cultural exchange, gave us guidance on what you can and cannot expect an au pair to do.

Anyway to cut to the chase, we pay our cleaner well to clean the whole house. But now we have the au pair she outright refuses to clean her room. I am only asking her to vacuum and dust, not tidy or touch her things (and au pair is SO tidy). I asked her why (this was all on text) and she said the au pair is old enough to look after herself. She's 18. But cleaner is paid to clean all the rooms and has been doing so for years... AIBU?!

Maybe ask the cleaner if she'd prefer to clean the au apair's room or take a pay cut of £x% (work out what % of the house the room makes up).

To be honest, I'm on the cleaner's side. Why doesn't the au pair clean her own room

Fired.

"but the cleaner did clean the au pairs room before the au pair started living in it. So now she’s cleaning one room less. The OP has said so several times."

Who slept in the room before? If it was a spare room, there was surely nothing to do except dusting. I would think that cleaning an empty room is quite different from cleaning an occupied room.

"To be honest, I'm on the cleaner's side. Why doesn't the au pair clean her own room

Fired."

You can't fire another Mumsnetter Tatiana. Answer the question. Why doesn't the 18 year old with a part-time job clean her own room?
Why the hell should someone else do it for her?

I would explain to the cleaner that the au pair has a lot of duties caring for children. That you want her to feel like family as she is young and here alone. You dont want to single her out to clean her own room when the other bedrooms are taken care of. And you want the current high standard of cleaning maintained.

It doesn’t matter if the au pair is not family or hired externally by the OP. The au pair is living in the OPs house and therefor the room belongs to the OP, the cleaner is contracted to clean the house, which, I believe includes all the rooms. OP - talk to the cleaner, be kind but firm, she’s hired to clean and by not cleaning she is in breach of her contract. Let her go if she won’t clean.

Is it somehow an increase in work now that the room is occupied / full of stuff?

TBH if you value the cleaner you may end up just asking the AP to sort her own room (sounds like she wouldn't mind anyway) but I agree, it grates a bit.

To be honest, I'm on the cleaner's side. Why doesn't the au pair clean her own room? Light housework can be included in au pair's work and everyone should clean their own room anyway (of course, you've outsourced yours to someone else by paying them, but the au pair hasn't).

Because the op pays her to do a job?
Would it be different if it were op’s child?

Don’t understand the problem with your title either, very common phase here!( not army)

You can't fire another Mumsnetter Tatiana

I have no sentimentality about MN.

^Why doesn't the 18 year old with a part-time job clean her own room?
Why the hell should someone else do it for her?^

Because the OP is paying the cleaner to clean her house. The age and work status of the au pair is none of the cleaner’s business.

Would to refuse to clean the rooms of OP’s teenage children who also have PT jobs?

Sometimes au pairs do cleaning and if you didn't have a cleaner she would do her own room, but you prefer her to do other things.
Agree you have been too friendly with cleaner, it's fine to help her with forms etc and treat her well, but she is taking the p now her nose is out of joint.
Have a word with her and offer her 15 minutes less each week and appropriate pay cut, or ask her to do something else instead.

Why doesn't the 18 year old with a part-time job clean her own room?
Why the hell should someone else do it for her?

Because it’s her job that she is paid to do...?

When I've worked in hotels our offices wer cleaned by the hotel housekeeping staff. Meals were cooked by the hotel chefs and if we stayed over our rooms were refreshed by housekeeping, meals cooked by chefs and served by waiting staff.

Her job is the clean. It shouldn't matter who has used what space, that is not her place to judge. Also she doesn't make the rules. You're already really flexible with her, she is lucky in that respect!

YANBU I think if you don't address this now then you are setting the tone for the cleaner to make her own rules. If you told your employer you were no longer doing part of the job you are paid to do, what would they say?!

I think you have to be firm on this.

Remind her that you pay her to clean the whole house regardless of who is using particular rooms.

You could ask if she has a complaint that this person is making too much mess for her to clean effectively in which case you will sort that out.

I always thought au pairs were supposed to keep their room and the kids rooms clean? Why should the cleaner be cleaning for her?
She's another worker. I take it that the cleaner is self employed?
If she is, then she's the one who decides who to clean for, she is providing a service, NOT employed!

but whatwill be next if you letg her off the au pairs room-oh the kitchen coz she uses it and can clean it he4rself?

sorry sounds like u got too friendly with her its not meant to be that personal

I always thought au pairs were supposed to keep their room and the kids rooms clean? Why should the cleaner be cleaning for her?
She's another worker. I take it that the cleaner is self employed?
If she is, then she's the one who decides who to clean for, she is providing a service, NOT employed!

She’s another worker for the op she gets to decide what she does.
If the cleaner doesn't like it she then op can find a new cleaner, the cleaner doesn't get to dictate what rooms she cleans.

Who slept in the room before? If it was a spare room, there was surely nothing to do except dusting. I would think that cleaning an empty room is quite different from cleaning an occupied room.

So does she get to refuse to clean the room if OP has a relative staying for a week or two? Should OP pay less for the days when a particular room or set of rooms haven't been used so there's not much to do?

It reads to me you've been to pally with the cleaner.So the lines have been blurred.The cleaner has form for just doing what suits her. So shes trying her luck to see how far you will be pushed.

Can’t the au pair clean her own room?!! The cleaner must do what she’s asked to do, but if I were the au pair I would not want someone else in my room .
I assume the cleaner feels it’s beneath her to clean for another member of staff, partyif they are the same culture. She may feel the au pair is like a daughter and in her culture she would be cleaning up for herself.

Has the au-pair asked the cleaner not to clean her room? Maybe she values her privacy and is happy to clean for herself.

It's true that if au pair cleans her own room and is like many teenagers she won't, it will be scuzzy by the time she goes home. Sounds like she isn't and it wouldn't. Perhaps the cleaner feels undervalued, even patronised (no good deed goes unpunished) remind her you pay for her skill, not because you can't be bothered to clean up.
I would expect everyone over 12 to clean their own room and help with household tasks, cooking etc because they will need these skills later, but that doesn't apply to au pair who is an adult.speak to the cleaner, not text.
We had au pairs and foreign students, seasonal workers and overseas tourists etc before we were in Eu.

I would be very unhappy to pay a cleaner to clean my house, and find that they get to decide which people in the house they will clean up after.

This is not a personal service. In a house with 5 people, you wouldn't expect to have 5 different cleaners, all only cleaning up after the person they look after. No, if you outsource cleaning, you expect to have all the cleaning done, unless you say otherwise.

If you are very flexible, sometimes people think they can take control. I once paid a nanny to look after my child in my home. I was quite flexible and said she could take him out. I was ok when she had things being delivered to her home and asked if they could be at her home for the delivery. When it reached the point that she wanted to be in her home most of the time, I realised that she was taking the piss, and expecting a nanny salary for being a childminder in her own home.

Au pair is definately not a worker or employee, they get food accommodation and pocket money. They have time to study English and learn about the country. They are supposed to be treated like family, though often they and host family prefer a little distance.

Does your cleaner have an issue with the au pair's nationality?