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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Re. Visiting cat?

202 replies

EleanorAbernathy · 05/02/2019 00:35

A young cat started appearing in our garden during the summer, really friendly boy, loved a bit of fuss - we figured he was a neighbour's cat.

Recently he's started showing up again - he has got really fluffy - at both the front and back doors, meowing pitifully like he's never been fed in his life. I am well aware he may be playing us here!

We've let him in a couple of times and he's guzzled away on our cats' food, again like he's never been fed in his life.

We really don't want to steal somebody's cat - but we are feeling really sorry for him! I work shifts and have got home at 4am in the last couple of weeks when it's been freezing outside and he's been out there meowing to come in.

He's not microchipped - I've got a scanner.

Last night I popped a collar on him with a message and my phone number - then he turned up again in the afternoon, collar had gone but nobody has called.

If he belongs to anyone I suspect our next door neighbours - not sure if anyone remembers but I posted a thread about their old cat that got stuck in our roof after being run over - they didn't even have a vet for her! They had another cat too that moved in with the lady over the road.

AIBU to keep letting him in for cuddles? Should we keep sticking collars on him with our details in case he somehow wiggled out of the last one?

OP posts:

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carolinelucaseshandbag · 28/11/2019 09:31

@Damntheman that made me cry!
The OP has behaved brilliantly here, Steve is a lucky boy.
My old neighbours stole my mums cat by enticing him with amazing food. She had to admit defeat in the end, it was so sad.
My lovely boy loves the love but is very much a home boy, thankfully.

AwkwardFucker · 28/11/2019 10:22

Threads like this make me realise the UK is an absolute alternate reality to Australia.

Here, you would have absolutely had your ass handed to you in this thread for letting your cats outside. People trap random cats if they find them in their yards, the council will fine you for letting your cats outside, and the general population believe cats should be indoors at all times, or confined to your yard in a cat run.

Most people have massive problems with cats killing the native birds and wildlife. Plus no one wants to see their cat run over.

Alternate reality.

FizzyIce · 28/11/2019 10:33

He’s lovely but I have to be honest I’d be really pissed off if someone was feeding my cats as they stay in all day but go out until the morning, their choice as they have a cat flap so quite often they’ll be out at 4/5am and ‘seem’ cold and starving but cats are greedy chancers , they’re actually worse than dogs .
As for the collar ,I guarantee he’s taking the paper ones off himself as soon as he’s left you so the neighbours were probably still none the wiser you were feeding him

FizzyIce · 28/11/2019 10:34

AwkwardFucker wow .. really is .
That’s bizarre

SerenDippitty · 28/11/2019 10:41

We had a part time ginger Tom cat for years. He belonged to someone down the road and was well looked after just extremely sociable and very well known in the neighbourhood. He would often appear at our kitchen window miaowing.

AwkwardFucker · 28/11/2019 10:44

AwkwardFucker wow .. really is .
That’s bizarre

I imagine you do find it bizarre! But I’m on enough Aussie forums where there are literally hundreds of pages of threads about people letting their cats outside where if someone admits they do, they are shamed til eternity.

Damntheman · 28/11/2019 10:50

@AwkwardFucker funny isn't it! In Norway they won't let you adopt a cat from a rescue unless you've got the ability and the will to let your cat go outside. I know about Australia's massive problem though with the wildlife and do find it understandable.

@carolinelucaseshandbag makes me tear up a bit to remember even now! Such a sweet bond those two had :)

As an aside, a cat like that is not going to freeze in cold weather. My boys are just moderately more fluffy than that and they're out without a problem in -16C and below. They're made for it and are very clever at finding warm places to cozy up in (like a neighbour's bed :p).

user1496345234 · 28/11/2019 10:52

Hiya, not sure if someone has mentioned this previously. I saw a post not too long ago explaining that microchips can travel within the body. It is best to also scan down their front legs and a wider area around the shoulders and back just in case.

FizzyIce · 28/11/2019 10:55

AwkwardFucker whoa.. I’m the devil incarnate then !

AwkwardFucker · 28/11/2019 11:09

AwkwardFucker whoa.. I’m the devil incarnate then !

Me too. I let my cat outside because we had massive problems with him clawing through the fly screens to get out. I would never admit that on an Aussie forum but I feel safe enough here

safariboot · 28/11/2019 11:16

I assume it's because in Australia cats are a problematic invasive species. In Europe the wildcat, very similar to the domestic cat, is native.

Livpool · 28/11/2019 12:07

My DM ended up with a Maine Coon in these circumstances years ago. He ended up living with them for about 16 years. He was such a lovely cat

AryaStarkWolf · 28/11/2019 12:09

My DM ended up with a Maine Coon in these circumstances years ago. He ended up living with them for about 16 years. He was such a lovely cat

A Maine Coon probably had an actual owner though, you would imagine

AllYouGoodGoodPeople · 28/11/2019 13:00

My DM had a lovely little cat that disappeared and she was heart broken for weeks until she heard a rumour he'd been seen up the road - he'd moved himself in with some people who were a bit more free with the cat biscuits.

He came home after a year and she shooed him away telling him to bugger off back where his bread was buttered better

ColaFreezePop · 28/11/2019 13:04

@AllYouGoodGoodPeople Cats don't have owners they have staff.

chemenger · 28/11/2019 13:10

It’s fine to put a paper collar on a cat that you are concerned about with your on tact details.

Livpool · 28/11/2019 13:10

@AryaStarkWolf she saw him for a few months but the time she took him in she hadn't seen him for a while. He was very thin, fur all matted and full of fleas. I think she thought perhaps his owner had died or they had moved.

I agree - I believe they are pedigree cats so it was strange

FizzyIce · 28/11/2019 13:40

@chemenger who said it wasn’t ?

chemenger · 28/11/2019 13:50

Hands up ,I didn’t read the whole thread and was responding to very old posts. In my defence I was also dealing with a foster kitten who mistook the corner of my bedroom for a litter tray and who might have eaten one thing that didn’t agree with him.

FizzyIce · 28/11/2019 14:13

@chemenger

AryaStarkWolf · 28/11/2019 14:17

@Livpool ahh poor thing, not chipped either then I suppose? I have a Maine Coon myself, they've got such great personalities

ameliaesmith · 28/11/2019 14:22

This could help!

FizzyIce · 28/11/2019 17:15

I really want to get another cat and would love a Maine coon but can you let them out ?
I’ve heard they’re a bit light on brain cells like my Russian blue but luckily he never goes far

Damntheman · 28/11/2019 17:24

My brother has one Fizzy. They take him out on a leash like a dog! I find it a bit ridiculous but the cat seems to like it. They like to be high up so I'd imagine they'd get up the tallest tree in a flash ;)

FizzyIce · 28/11/2019 20:02

Ah , I don’t think I could see myself doing that

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