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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re. Visiting cat?

202 replies

EleanorAbernathy · 05/02/2019 00:35

A young cat started appearing in our garden during the summer, really friendly boy, loved a bit of fuss - we figured he was a neighbour's cat.

Recently he's started showing up again - he has got really fluffy - at both the front and back doors, meowing pitifully like he's never been fed in his life. I am well aware he may be playing us here! Grin

We've let him in a couple of times and he's guzzled away on our cats' food, again like he's never been fed in his life.

We really don't want to steal somebody's cat - but we are feeling really sorry for him! I work shifts and have got home at 4am in the last couple of weeks when it's been freezing outside and he's been out there meowing to come in.

He's not microchipped - I've got a scanner.

Last night I popped a collar on him with a message and my phone number - then he turned up again in the afternoon, collar had gone but nobody has called.

If he belongs to anyone I suspect our next door neighbours - not sure if anyone remembers but I posted a thread about their old cat that got stuck in our roof after being run over - they didn't even have a vet for her! They had another cat too that moved in with the lady over the road.

AIBU to keep letting him in for cuddles? Should we keep sticking collars on him with our details in case he somehow wiggled out of the last one?

OP posts:
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Original poster
EleanorAbernathy · 05/02/2019 16:22

I'd be a bit worried about a paper collar to be honest, the one we attached the note to was a breakaway type one, and the note just said he's visiting us, and witg by number so they could call if it's a problem. It could well have fallen off.

He's out there now, staring at me through the patio doors. I stuck my tongue out at him and told him to sod off as it's not even that cold and he can always go to one of his other potential meal tickets on the street (I'm sure we can't be the only ones! Grin ).

Again, we're not planning on stealing him whatever he says - just trying to get in touch with his owners to see if they have any objections to us letting him in when he's out there with icicles on his whiskers at night - and if they DO mind, we obviously won't.

OP posts:
Original poster
EleanorAbernathy · 05/02/2019 16:22

*with my number - sorry, fat fingers!

OP posts:
Jebuschristchocolatebar · 05/02/2019 16:23

We have one of these. We call him pat mustard like the milk man in father ted. He lives with us but also about ten of our neighbours and we all share. It’s a bit like having a rent a cat.

gamerchick · 05/02/2019 16:31

Have you ever tried to get one of those types of wristbands off?! A cat could VERY easily strangle themselves with one!!

Lol well I get them off pretty easily, are you exceptionally weak in the hands? One catch on something and the ones I have rip quite easily. So meh. Wink

gamerchick · 05/02/2019 16:33

I think the people on here would prefer you just to leave it to chance OP. Don't feed it and let it get cold. It'll find someone else to bother.

Tbh it does look like a chancer given the condition it's in. They're very good at the starving routine.

ChipButtyNotABap · 05/02/2019 17:24

IMO anyone that does not get their pets chipped does not care that much about them

THIS

And it also suggests they have not ever been to a vet, or been neutered, as vets push cheap microchips all the time, and try and get it done at the time they are under for the snip.

If it was chipped, I'd feel very differently but as it is... I think he's chosen you.

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 05/02/2019 17:31

The OP has a home chip reader. That may not (and no offence) be 100% reliable. Or the chip may have moved around or worked its way out. You can't extrapolate the cat to be fair game just because you can't personally locate a microchip.

adaline · 05/02/2019 17:46

think the people on here would prefer you just to leave it to chance OP.

No, it's just blatantly obvious from its condition that it's someone's pet! It's skint a skinny and bone starving stray - it looks healthy and well-cared for!

ReaganSomerset · 05/02/2019 18:22

@gamerchick depends where you catch them, I've definitely had to cut them off before. But if the cat did get snagged on a branch, its chances of pulling free with one of those on would be slim.

LittlePaintBox · 05/02/2019 19:52

Try posting details on the local Facebook page if you have one, and putting 'Is this your cat?' notices up.

My friend had a very elderly ginger cat who went missing, and she found out when she advertised that he was missing that he was visiting loads of her neighbours!

My mum enticed a cat who visited her away from its original owners, she had convinced herself that the cat was unhappy in her home and better off moving in. But I have to say, I'd be upset if anyone moved my cat in with them in similar circumstances.

fudgesmummy · 05/02/2019 20:02

This is Hugo, (the eldest of our 3 boys)
He is our cat.
We are his mummy and daddy.
He officially lives in our house.
We pay for his insurance, vets bills, flea tablets etc.
Our phone number is engraved on his ID disk.
He also lives in 6 other houses (that we know off.......)
Hugo is a tart 😂😂

Re. Visiting cat?
LunafortJest · 05/02/2019 20:21

@AdobeWanKenobi "As for taking cats with no collars to the shelter, you do know cat collars can be extremely dangerous and many vets actively advise against them?"

On the contrary where I live vets recommend collars and you can get safety collars that stretch, not the old ones that can be a danger.

ReaganSomerset · 05/02/2019 20:22

@LunafortJest the stretch ones are still dangerous. You need the breakaway ones that snap. They do lose them quite often though!

wanderlust6848 · 05/02/2019 20:35

Could you not go round to a few neighbours houses and just ask if it's their cat or if they know whose it is?

AndromedaPerseus · 05/02/2019 21:02

We live in area with lots of rentals and a transient population, last year we noticed a couple of healthy adult male cats constantly hanging about in our garden as we have tables and chairs under a covered pergola, we ignored them for weeks until one developed awful abccesses and both got thinner and thinner and neither were neutered. It got to the pojnt when we couldn’t ignore it anymore and started feeding them and managed with a great deal of difficulty to capture the sick one and take it to the vets for treatment and neutering. The vet said he wasn’t chipped either. We paid for his treatment and adopted him and he doesn’t travel far from our garden now. The vet said he had probably been someone’s pet and had been abandoned and it was a common occurrence where we are.

Ontheboardwalk · 05/02/2019 21:09

Your cat is in season, he’s just getting into the fold for a quick shag and a load of unwanted kittens.

Please don’t let a Tom cat into the house with your un neutered cat. If you are concerned ring cats protection league they are great in my area (and give them a good donation)

MrsRussell · 05/02/2019 21:16

@PerseusandAndromeda suspect that was the case with Tankie: he's called Tankie because he's a solid tank of cat weighing a good 20lbs, when he was found having been - likely - a stray for a couple of years he was about 6 or 7lbs. He's 5? 6? now, so to be such a big solid cat he is unlikely to have been an unloved kitten. He was terrified that he had done something wrong the other day after he swatted passive-aggressive Miss Thing for pushing him about. My guess is in his case his people lost their rag with him.for antisocial behaviour with a new, cuter cat. Moved on, cute kitty went and Tankie got left behind as surplus.

AndromedaPerseus · 05/02/2019 21:37

We also got in touch with our local cat shelter for advice and they said they have lots of adult cats who have been abandoned because landlords won’t allow them or an elderly owner might have gone into a home/hospital or died, people move away or they have a baby and they’re scared the cat will suffocate the baby or they’re just bored of it. The cat shelter also said it not just the moggies that are abandoned but often they get pedigrees and cat breeders will dump kittens if they’re not perfect or have health problems usually due to inbreeding Sad.

Fluffycloudland77 · 05/02/2019 21:51

I’d do a paper collar, eating like your starving isn’t a good sign. Cats left out in the cold get much thicker coats to try and stay warm.

You could take him to be scanned at the vets but chipping is usually done at neutering and if he’s sniffing around a cat in heat it’s all adding up to abandoned pet/lost cat.

Ilovelblue · 05/02/2019 22:12

I have two cats of my own and was semi-adopted by a ginger and white cat a few years ago. My own cats didn't seem to mind him when he was outside but once I started letting him in the house, it didn't work out. I contacted the Cats Protection League to see if they could take him but they were inundated and gave me one of those paper collars to put on with my phone number. The cat kept coming back minus the collar. In the end, I put notes through people's doors on my road and the three surrounding it. Strangely, about two weeks later somebody rang to ask if they could have the cat as he had taken up residence with them. They were on my road but at the other end so I didn't know them. I went to thank them and the cat was at the door when the man and his little boy came to chat. He was sitting looking very smug with a silver collar. I felt really pleased that he'd managed to rehome himself.

Zzz1234 · 05/02/2019 22:13

We have a ginger female that comes in whenever she feels like it. Our cat flap is chipped to our cats, she figured out she can follow our two in, however she never followed them out and just sat on sofa, used the litter tray, ate cat food till someone came home. In the end we added her chip to the cat flap so now she comes in and out whenever she wants. We gave up trying to keep her out, at one point we locked the catflap so they had to be let in and out, but she came in thru the upstairs windows during the summer 🤷‍♀️

Pretty sure mine get fed elsewhere.

systemwwr · 05/02/2019 22:51

Hugo is gorgeous! I wish he'd visit us, although i'm not sure our cat housemates would be so keen Grin

Notcontent · 05/02/2019 23:01

We have a visiting cat. She seems to love our house!

Triskaidekaphilia · 05/02/2019 23:21

Youe visitor's doppleganger is laying on my chest as I catch up with this thread saying it absolutely definitely wasn't him Grin

Re. Visiting cat?
Triskaidekaphilia · 05/02/2019 23:22

*Your

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