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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re. Visiting cat?

202 replies

EleanorAbernathy · 05/02/2019 00:35

A young cat started appearing in our garden during the summer, really friendly boy, loved a bit of fuss - we figured he was a neighbour's cat.

Recently he's started showing up again - he has got really fluffy - at both the front and back doors, meowing pitifully like he's never been fed in his life. I am well aware he may be playing us here! Grin

We've let him in a couple of times and he's guzzled away on our cats' food, again like he's never been fed in his life.

We really don't want to steal somebody's cat - but we are feeling really sorry for him! I work shifts and have got home at 4am in the last couple of weeks when it's been freezing outside and he's been out there meowing to come in.

He's not microchipped - I've got a scanner.

Last night I popped a collar on him with a message and my phone number - then he turned up again in the afternoon, collar had gone but nobody has called.

If he belongs to anyone I suspect our next door neighbours - not sure if anyone remembers but I posted a thread about their old cat that got stuck in our roof after being run over - they didn't even have a vet for her! They had another cat too that moved in with the lady over the road.

AIBU to keep letting him in for cuddles? Should we keep sticking collars on him with our details in case he somehow wiggled out of the last one?

OP posts:
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exWifebeginsat40 · 05/02/2019 09:44

we have a gigantic Tommy Two Dinners, and have been trying to slim him down for over a year now.

we feed him correctly. we feed the others correctly too. but, FattyFat is out the door at the first chance and comes home in the evening. wherever he goes, he’s getting fed. it is driving me mad.

OP, this cat is not your cat. he has not chosen you to be his new owners. how do you think his actual owners feel about him disappearing intermittently?

don’t put a collar on the cat. stop feeding the cat. refuse him entry to your house. he is not your cat.

OhSnake · 05/02/2019 10:01

He looks familiar! OP, you're not in Oxford by any chance, are you?

mrsjackrussell · 05/02/2019 10:12

I think that you need to find the owner. It's not fair if he is someone else's cat. A lot of cats go missing like that due to people feeding them.
Post on your local missing cats page on Facebook.

Triskaidekaphilia · 05/02/2019 10:13

Shock OP don't steal my cat!

(Only joking btw, he just looks almost identical to mine!)

Re. Visiting cat?
Triskaidekaphilia · 05/02/2019 10:15

Unless you live in Nottingham, then it really could be him Grin

pumpastrotter · 05/02/2019 10:22

Cat's are scavengers and eat whatever they can get, stop feeding him and letting him in - he is obviously not a stray, he is someone else's pet!! You do not steal someone else's pet, and I cannot believe the posters encouraging this. He's 'chosen' you because you're feeding and fussing him.
My cat is incredibly friendly and overly familiar with strangers, would put money on him begging for more food too even though he is adequately fed at home - I would be horrified if someone else was trying to claim just because they were purposely feeding him and letting him into their home - not to mention the DC (and more so, DH) would be heartbroken.

Most areas have FB pages for lost/rescue cats, contact them with his picture so they can circulate it to try and confirm the owner.

EhlanaOfElenia · 05/02/2019 10:23

Our old cat was a wanderer. Thought nothing of marching into someone else's house to get a cuddle or have a snooze on their bed. The only house he avoided was the one with a dog. Fortunately all our neighbours knew who he belonged to (he had a collar with our address on it) and I think most genuinely liked him. It did help that he didn't actually wander around to be fed. When he visited his 'mates' he would have a bite or two of their food to be sociable, but that was it apparently. (The owner of his 'best friend' thought he was gorgeous and very well behaved!).

He and his Best Friend Cat were terrible with the rabbit hunting though. The little sods paired up and cornered the rabbits. His Best Friend still glares at me because he misses him. I do too!

Tinty · 05/02/2019 10:31

We had a lovely tiny kitten we took her to be neutered at 5 months, she was already pregnant. A little while later she gave birth to a big ginger kitten. We had seen Ginger King swaggering around the garden for a few months, clearly he had had his way with our delicate little Tortie. Grin. I think male Ginger cats are very keen on the female sex. I think he visits for the girls (and snacks). Smile

MonoClue · 05/02/2019 10:39

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamish_McHamish
St Andrews had one of theseSmile

Gingercat42 · 05/02/2019 10:43

Where do you live OP? This looks very much like my cat who comes and goes at his leisure. We only see him once a week but he definitely comes in for food most nights. He also goes in other houses to eat!

Gingercat42 · 05/02/2019 10:52

Although we've not had a cat stuck on someone's roof after being knocked over so maybe not. It does look so much like him though. Does he have a grey patch between his legs?!

Corneliusmurphy · 05/02/2019 10:54

You’re not near Heathrow are you, there’s one missing on Facebook that’s spookily similar?

Corneliusmurphy · 05/02/2019 10:59

This one

Re. Visiting cat?
Lizzie48 · 05/02/2019 11:15

I love all this 'you've been chosen' shit. No, you haven't. He's just going where he can get an extra dinner. Close the door and leave him alone he is clearly someone's pet.

This. There's a ginger cat that hangs around our estate that's very much like this cat. He's adorable and such a softie. My DDs adore him, but I refuse to let him inside our house. (We have 4 anyway so I wouldn't want another.)

I know where he lives now, though. Grin

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 05/02/2019 11:19

If you want to adopt a stray cat, go to a shelter. They have hundreds.

Pk37 · 05/02/2019 11:25

If he is your neighbours cat and they didn’t bother replying to your note then it seems they only really like them when they’re small and cute if they keep getting them rehomed or just don’t bother with them after a while .
He’s lovely though

AdobeWanKenobi · 05/02/2019 11:30

If he is your neighbours cat and they didn’t bother replying to your note then it seems they only really like them when they’re small and cute if they keep getting them rehomed or just don’t bother with them after a while

How on earth do you get all that from not replying to a note?

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 05/02/2019 11:32

If he is your neighbours cat and they didn’t bother replying to your note then it seems they only really like them when they’re small and cute

Or....the cat scratched the collar off and the owners never received the note?

pigsDOfly · 05/02/2019 11:43

My DD has had terrible trouble with a kitten that started coming into her house. He was very young and used to poo all over the place.

She doesn't want him and did everything she could to discourage him but he was incredibly persistent and cheeky - they'd come home and find him asleep on their bed.

She knows the owner and has spoken to her several times about it but has more or less given up the fight now as he seems to think he's part of her family now.

They've also now got another cat who seems to have decided to move in, they don't know the owner but know he's not a stray either. It drives her mad.

I know from my own experience with cats that if you got cat food in your house you're going to get random cats coming round.

Pk37 · 05/02/2019 11:44

AdobeWanKenobi Because op said they’d had a few cats that had been rehomed or left to be a stray

teetotalling · 05/02/2019 11:47

Ginger toms are notorious for this greedy, seedy nonsense. They break hearts.

But I'd find it v hard not to let him in too, must say...

adaline · 05/02/2019 12:01

AdobeWanKenobi Because op said they’d had a few cats that had been rehomed or left to be a stray

That still doesn't mean OP can steal their cat!

Cats wander, it's what they do. That doesn't mean people can feed them and entice them into their homes. One of my cats loves people and she would go into anyone's home given half the chance. She's also very small for her age and it wouldn't surprise me if someone decided she was a stray/needed feeding and tried to keep her.

It's not illegal for a cat to wander around outside for days on end. That doesn't mean it's okay for other people to entice them into their homes, feed them, fuss them and put collars on them!

Pk37 · 05/02/2019 12:10

adaline I didn’t say that! Who’s posts are you reading ?

Original poster
EleanorAbernathy · 05/02/2019 12:19

We don't want to steal him, I just feel sorry for him when he's out in the middle of the night in the freezing cold! We haven't kept him in as he must be someone's cat.

Our own cats are neutered indoor cats (apart from the little temptress who has calmed down again now! Grin )

We don't entice this one in - he lies in wait and makes a run for it if we open the door to go in or out, with a triumphant little squeak if he makes it inside before we catch him!

OP posts:
Original poster
EleanorAbernathy · 05/02/2019 12:25

Trisk we're not far from Nottingham ( a few miles to the north ) maybe it IS him! If it is, he says you never feed him or cuddle him. Grin

OP posts:
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