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AIBU?

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Original poster

Re. Visiting cat?

202 replies

EleanorAbernathy · 05/02/2019 00:35

A young cat started appearing in our garden during the summer, really friendly boy, loved a bit of fuss - we figured he was a neighbour's cat.

Recently he's started showing up again - he has got really fluffy - at both the front and back doors, meowing pitifully like he's never been fed in his life. I am well aware he may be playing us here! Grin

We've let him in a couple of times and he's guzzled away on our cats' food, again like he's never been fed in his life.

We really don't want to steal somebody's cat - but we are feeling really sorry for him! I work shifts and have got home at 4am in the last couple of weeks when it's been freezing outside and he's been out there meowing to come in.

He's not microchipped - I've got a scanner.

Last night I popped a collar on him with a message and my phone number - then he turned up again in the afternoon, collar had gone but nobody has called.

If he belongs to anyone I suspect our next door neighbours - not sure if anyone remembers but I posted a thread about their old cat that got stuck in our roof after being run over - they didn't even have a vet for her! They had another cat too that moved in with the lady over the road.

AIBU to keep letting him in for cuddles? Should we keep sticking collars on him with our details in case he somehow wiggled out of the last one?

OP posts:
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Original poster
EleanorAbernathy · 05/02/2019 23:41

Ours must either be at his real house or another neighbours tonight! We call him Steve, cos he looks like a Steve.

Re. Visiting cat?
OP posts:
Fresta · 05/02/2019 23:47

He's no stray! Far too clean and well fed.

KonekoBasu · 06/02/2019 00:01

"It actually really bothers me that people think it's okay to let other people's pets into their homes, feed them and put collars on them. If you want a cat - get a cat, don't steal someone else's!"

We've had lots of cats do this. No encouragement from us, but back door left open in summer and they've just appeared. I know our cats have done the same to other people. Sometimes it's hard to stop them!

Found one of the neighbours cats in my bed once. Under the duvet.

jaffajiffy · 06/02/2019 06:15

We have two cats, rescued 13 years ago as kittens. One fluffy needy one who goes outside to pee and then comes straight back. One small tabby minx who destroys collars and fights foxes for fun. Both are chipped and spayed and loved and defleaed. The tabby has always been friendly with the neighbours, but I the last two years she’s taken it to another level. She would be missing for weeks, popping in from time to time and getting fatter. I posted on our local website. I put a ribbon on her with my number. Nothing. Finally the vet rang to say she’d been taken in by no 18 across the road assumed an abandoned kitten. The vet shared our numbers and I had a nice chat with the neighbour. About six months later I got a text from no 20 saying no 18 had warned them our cat would adopt them. They were not cat lovers and were dubious, but sure enough she worked her way in and now they see her every day. Apparently, she’s very well known and loved up and down the street.

We had all the cat neighbours round for a drink before Christmas. Supposed to be 5-6 but kicked everyone out at 9. We spent a good length of time taking about the rascal cat. She’s responsible for missed trains, missing the start of a football match, etc.

She’s a madam

Alltheprettyseahorses · 06/02/2019 09:07

He certainly doesn't look liked a stray.

But for all the excitement about cat visitors, I'm going to be a killjoy and say please DO NOT feed unknown cats unless you are 100% sure they are a stray. They may be on medication or special diets. For example, my cat has a very restricted diet because he has mild Manx Cat Syndrome but I have an idiot neighbour who, no matter how many times I've told her politely and not so politely to stop, insists on feeding him, or rather leaving food where he can get it because she wants him to go to her which he never will tbh. Then he gets the wild liquid shites everywhere because it unsettles his stomach, then he has to visit the vet and he hates the vet, then I have to give him tablets and he hates them and he's a big cat, he'll have my arm off one of these days. So just please don't feed them.

cakesandphotos · 06/02/2019 10:11

We had a ginger kitten turn up one winter night on my mums bed. He hung around for a bit then vanished. Several months later he came back with a really badly infected eye. We found out where he lived and went round. They had several cats and told my mum to just chuck him out, she didn’t allow them in her house. We took him to the vets. His eye was beyond repair, he had an enormous knot of worms in his tummy and he wasn’t neutered. We fixed him up and 16 years later he’s old, toothless, one eyed and content with my mum and step dad.

Although obviously this cat isn’t in a bad way

pumpastrotter · 06/02/2019 10:14

@gamerchick not at all, but I've never had a paper wristband just rip, they've all need pulling apart by the under tab or cut. They're made from Tyvek, not actual paper, they're made to not rip easily and a cat hanging from a branch isn't going to tear one easily.

TheShiteRunner · 06/02/2019 10:22

You are stealing him. It's really unkind and unfair. This happened with my cat when I was a child, and it broke my heart. All this, "Aaaaaw but he's so cute and sneaks into my house when it's cold"... Take some responsibility for what you're doing OP.

Bipbopbee · 06/02/2019 10:42

Please stop feeding him. We had a cat with a very sensitive stomach.. she was only supposed to eat special ( expensive ) food but would go out and be fed by various people, as she obviously didn’t like the taste of her special food. She would come home and have chronic diarrhoea which sprayed up the walls in our kitchen. I used to put “please don’t feed me I have a stomach condition” notes on her collar but the feeding continued . I had a toddler and baby at the time so cleaning up cat diarrhoea every day was my favourite Hmm

cakesandphotos · 06/02/2019 11:00

That’s a bit different though fluffy that cat is obviously very thin and poorly. The cat in the OP is big and fluffy and healthy looking

Fluffycloudland77 · 06/02/2019 11:16

Yet people still didn’t feed it in case they got accused of cat theft.

brownmare · 06/02/2019 11:22

A paper collar will not strangle a cat. You can print them off from the Cats Protection here:-www.cats.org.uk/help-and-advice/found-a-cat#printable+paper+collars+for+cats Secure it with a small strip of sellotape where it fastens and it should stay on long enough for any owner to see it.

I'd disagree that the cat necessarily has a home, abandoned cats are surprisingly common and without getting your hands on the animal it can be difficult to condition score accurately. The thing to do is to be proactive in finding out if it has owners and if nobody comes forwards I would assume he's abandoned. Unneutered toms are notorious for wandering off and becoming lost or being abandoned as they start spraying.

If you took him off the streets and no missing posters went up then I'd also think he was homeless.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 06/02/2019 13:13

The thing to do is to be proactive in finding out if it has owners and if nobody comes forwards I would assume he's abandoned.

Why would anyone need to be proactive he clearly has owners. If someone was to put a paper collar on my cats (not that they go out bit still) I would probably ignore it because quite frankly I have better things to do than contact nosey busy bodies. Does that mean they can then steal my cat, of course it doesn't.

You honestly don't need to get your hands on the cat in the OP to know he is in good condition and well taken care of.

ReaganSomerset · 06/02/2019 13:23

@brownmare

One printed off the website onto regular paper won't, but it may well be ripped off when the cat scratches. A PP was talking about using one made of the stuff that disposable wristbands are made of andthey certainly could strangle a cat.

ReaganSomerset · 06/02/2019 13:23

Well, not strangle, but trap.

brownmare · 06/02/2019 13:27

Well I'd have to disagree with you heads down I've worked with plenty of cats that at first glance look okay, but when you start properly checking are often thin or have fleas/mites.

'Nosey busy bodies' are probably the very people that would reconnect you with your pet if it were to go missing, and how I'd struggle to see how a caring would ignore the fact that someone was concerned about their pet and would rehome it if no owner came forward, yet you'd blame the person who was concerned because you couldn't be arsed to let them know the cat had a home?
My mother recently had a cat visiting in all weathers and put a paper collar asking if the cat had a home as she was concerned about it and the owner rang and was grateful that we were keeping an eye out for it. It meant the cat wasn't fed unnecessarily, the owner was aware where the cat was and my mother could stop worrying about it. Busy body indeed!

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 06/02/2019 13:44

It is nosey and being a busy body though. If a cat appears in your garden and it obviously looks underfed and uncared for then by all means ask your neighbours or put a post up on social media. However the vast majority of cats are clearly well loved and well taken care of so why would anyone need to find out who it belongs to?

I don't need to know where the tabby who sleeps on my garden table lives she obviously has a home and chooses to sleep in my garden during the rain. I've seen her several streets away that would be a lot of houses the owner would need to contact to let them know she was a much loved pet.

Cats are fickle creatures. Most will have an owner who loves them it would be ridiculous to expect said owner to contact everyone who enquired about their animal. It doesn't mean the owner cannot be arsed or that they don't care about their cat its simply an unnecessary task.

brownmare · 06/02/2019 14:01

I have six cats of my own and I fully understand how fickle they are, I also have a couple that venture into my garden. Of course you wouldn't expect everyone to be told about your cat, because it generally isn't a cause for concern.
The cat in this case is apparently hungry and possibly unneutered, both red flags and the finder is correct in trying to ascertain if the cat is owned imo. It is what the RSPCA, CP and countless other charities would advise anyone concerned to do.
I had one that would wander into houses unannounced and make himself at home. I was happy for people to ask about him, even if it made me cringe at how bloody cheeky he was. Better people know he has a home than left wondering and possibly rehoming him, although mine are all chipped too which is another thing a responsible owner should do.

brownmare · 06/02/2019 14:04

I also meant to say that the owner would only have to contact the person concerned who'd left their number on the collar, not streets of houses, that would be ridiculous.

movinonup · 06/02/2019 15:12

My apologies if this has already been asked and answered OP..........but why do you have a scanner?

Original poster
EleanorAbernathy · 06/02/2019 16:01

He's been out there looking at me through the window all day again today, meowing pitifully if I make eye contact! 3 other local cats have been through our garden today, two just sniff around and do their own thing, one will come and say hi then go on its way - then THIS one..... He's quite demanding! Grin

movinonup We have a scanner as we took part in a study involving cat's temperatures and 3 of our cats have the chips that read temperatures. We were sent the scanner as past of the study, it reads their temperature and chip number. We had to scan them twice a day!

OP posts:
Beaverhausen · 06/02/2019 16:21

You can't leave the poor boy outside :(

ReaganSomerset · 06/02/2019 16:29

He's fine. It's the daytime and he has a long, furry coat on.

To PP saying he's hungry, some cats are just greedy. If I weigh out the amount of Royal Canin recommended for my cat she acts half-starved, but the alternative is she becomes overweight. Also, novel foods interest her more and she'll eat more than she should. Just because this cat is wolfing down food doesn't mean he's legitimately hungry

AryaStarkWolf · 06/02/2019 16:40

To PP saying he's hungry, some cats are just greedy

My dog is like that, if she got out and appeared on someones doorstep and they gave her food she would eat it so fast you would think she'd not had a meal in weeks.......she eats like this everytime she's fed, nearly chokes herself sometimes because she can't get it down fast enough