Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re. Visiting cat?

202 replies

EleanorAbernathy · 05/02/2019 00:35

A young cat started appearing in our garden during the summer, really friendly boy, loved a bit of fuss - we figured he was a neighbour's cat.

Recently he's started showing up again - he has got really fluffy - at both the front and back doors, meowing pitifully like he's never been fed in his life. I am well aware he may be playing us here! Grin

We've let him in a couple of times and he's guzzled away on our cats' food, again like he's never been fed in his life.

We really don't want to steal somebody's cat - but we are feeling really sorry for him! I work shifts and have got home at 4am in the last couple of weeks when it's been freezing outside and he's been out there meowing to come in.

He's not microchipped - I've got a scanner.

Last night I popped a collar on him with a message and my phone number - then he turned up again in the afternoon, collar had gone but nobody has called.

If he belongs to anyone I suspect our next door neighbours - not sure if anyone remembers but I posted a thread about their old cat that got stuck in our roof after being run over - they didn't even have a vet for her! They had another cat too that moved in with the lady over the road.

AIBU to keep letting him in for cuddles? Should we keep sticking collars on him with our details in case he somehow wiggled out of the last one?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
m00rfarm · 05/02/2019 07:28

Are you sure he is a he? I had a ginger tabby from a rescue centre called Sam and paid £50 for him to be neutered before he arrived. Six weeks after he arrived "he" gave birth to six kittens and was renamed Samantha. Ginger cats can be female as well :)

m00rfarm · 05/02/2019 07:29

Terrible punctuation - it sounds as thought he rescue centre was called Sam. TO clarify, the cat was called Sam.

apostropheuse · 05/02/2019 07:36

He doesn't look underfed or neglected in the picture. He's looks like a wee sleekit cat visiting cat friendly houses for multiple dinners. Smile

pandechocolate · 05/02/2019 07:39

You are stealing somebody else's cat.

If you feed him, he is going to come back. He looks well cared for and probably has owners. Our neighbours cat always tries his luck at our dog despite the fact that she and my dog do not get on. Only time my dog growls is when that cat appears.

My MILs cat liked to wonder, and two families down the road thought he was adopting them, so let him in and fed him. He would stay with these people for two weeks at a time and we would all worry about where he was, and be out looking for him. They'd see us and laugh that they had him. Funnily enough, none of them came to help with regular vets bills e.g worming, and when he got old and sick, he was suddenly only MILs again.

If the owners genuinely don't want him then fair enough, but until you confirm this, I'd stop letting him in.

LunafortJest · 05/02/2019 07:42

All cats are supposed to have collars on, especially if they go outside. It denotes they are a pet, not a stray. If a cat has no collar on, they are fair game to take to the animal rescue shelter/pound where I am.

harriethoyle · 05/02/2019 07:44

Awwww he's magnificent!

TillyMint81 · 05/02/2019 07:47

We have a few local fb pages. Could you post on yours asking if anyone recognises him.

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 05/02/2019 07:57

All the posters saying "he's yours now! Just keep him! Look at his little face!" are basically encouraging you to nick someone else's pet.

That is not a stray. It's a pet cat who has come to yours because of your in heat female, and stayed because you are dancing around, feeding, grooming and naming him.

How would all the posters saying "aww, keep him" feel if a neighbour took a liking to their beloved cat and decided it belonged to them now?

Glitterblue · 05/02/2019 07:59

He's gorgeous!! I suspect you've been adopted. That's how we got a cat when I was little.

Re the eating though, ours was fed at 7.20 the other morning and sitting shouting at me beside an empty bowl 20 mins later and when I put more meat in it, he ate as if he hadn't eaten in weeks 😂

TeddyIsaHe · 05/02/2019 08:00

What FineWordsForAPorcupine said

CantWaitToRetire · 05/02/2019 08:15

After reading your update that your own cat has come in to season, then I think you have the reason right in front of you as to why he has been so keen to visit. Maybe not 'six dinner Sid' so much as 'leg-over Larry' !

ReaganSomerset · 05/02/2019 08:16

This is why I have a black cat now. I find that people are less fussed about 'adopting' them.

Donmesswime · 05/02/2019 08:17

FineWordsForAPorcupine He's been coming since last Summer. So I doubt the female in heat now has anything to do with his presence.

CantWaitToRetire · 05/02/2019 08:22

OP, you say you have lots of cats of your own. When this cat started appearing in the summer, was one of your other cats in season (or just pre/post season) at that time?

Mrsdarcyiwish10 · 05/02/2019 08:22

He looks just like my little man who wandered off years ago, does he have half a tail? Mine was also microchipped.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 05/02/2019 08:24

I also agree with FineWords he is obviously somoenes pet. He looks well cared for and by feeding him you are encouraging him to come back. Imagine how you would feel if someone did that to your cats?

He may have appeared last year as he was scoping out the local territories and now your cats in season he's trying his luck to get in again.

Please ignore him and leave him be, if you stop encouraging him into thinking your house is where he can get food, fuss and female company he will probably leave you alone.

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 05/02/2019 08:49

Even if it has nothing to do with the female in season, you are still trying to "adopt" what is OBVIOUSLY someone else's pet.

Stop feeding him. Stop letting him in. If you want to be sure, put up posters and ask on your local Facebook group. I bet you anything that his owners will say "thanks for letting us know - and FGS stop feeding him".

And most of all, stop telling yourself cutesy stories about how he "decided you're his owners now" and how you saved him from a life on the streets where nobody wanted him. I cannot stress enough how that friendly, long haired, well kept cat that has been popping over for food since the summer is so clearly not a stray.

RangeRider · 05/02/2019 09:01

It's really unfair to claim someone else's cat just because he turns up at your house
This ^^. There's a cat who hangs around my road and has adopted one of my neighbours (the softest touch - it's also tried the rest of us) yet when they were away over Christmas and obviously its own family was home for attention it was nowhere to be seen the whole time. Now they're back at work or whatever it's back every day to try its luck.
Don't feed it or encourage it in. I'd be livid if someone did that to my cats. You also have no idea if it's on special food for health reasons (one of mine is) so you could actually be hurting it.

AdobeWanKenobi · 05/02/2019 09:09

I love all this 'you've been chosen' shit. No, you haven't. He's just going where he can get an extra dinner. Close the door and leave him alone he is clearly someone's pet.

As for taking cats with no collars to the shelter, you do know cat collars can be extremely dangerous and many vets actively advise against them?

InsideLegMeasurement · 05/02/2019 09:10

our cats had microchips but when we went back in they'd moved/vanished. One had a chip that scanned at the end of her tail and the other had completely lost his! So they might have been chipped originally. ours also don't like collars and will fight them and pull them off. luckily they are massive scaredeycats and never go anywhere except to the flower bed and back indoors.

TheWernethWife · 05/02/2019 09:22

My friend has a "six dinner Sid" visitor, a lovely, very large, ginger tom. He comes in, has a cuddle and a fuss and then has a little snooze on her bed before going home.

Luna I've had cats since childhood and have never heard that all cats must have a collar, my three are in and out of the cat flap and don't have collars, they are chipped though.

adaline · 05/02/2019 09:28

It actually really bothers me that people think it's okay to let other people's pets into their homes, feed them and put collars on them. If you want a cat - get a cat, don't steal someone else's!

Some cats have dietary issues, others cannot wear collars because they get them caught and strangle themselves - please don't assume you have the right to feed someone else's pet and put a collar on it Angry

adaline · 05/02/2019 09:32

He's gorgeous!! I suspect you've been adopted

Don't be daft. He's going where he gets food - cats are chancers! Mine would eat at every house on the street given the chance - he's a greedy bugger! However he also has a home here - a home with owners who love him and care for him, but also owners who pay his vets bills, buy his food and toys and pay for his insurance!

Cats have owners. Stop encouraging people to steal other people's pets!

DoneLikeAKipper · 05/02/2019 09:37

Ah the typical ‘a cat chooses their owner’ bollocks is being spread on this thread, what a surprise. Unless you have proof this is a stray, stop encouraging someone else’s pet into your home. The law won’t be on your side if the owner finds out you’ve ‘adopted’ their cat, as I read yesterday:

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/woman-reunited-kitten-after-five-13951532

Munchkingoat · 05/02/2019 09:39

This annoys me so much! We've had two of our cats stolen by neighbours by feeding them and encouraging them in. They had a loving home, utterly well cared for and we loved them. They were rescue cats we'd adopted and spents months and months turning them from feral terrified kittens into contented happy cats and also not an inconsiderable amount on vets bills. I knew who it was both times and kept asking and asking them not to feed them but they denied it even though i would see the cats going into their house! I put posters up and posts on fb saying please don't feed, they have a home, are microchipped etc to no avail. Neither of them looked even remotely stray! (It was two separate occasions btw)

In the end i even went to the neighbour to say if they wanted to take over ownership I'd change the microchip details and they still denied it. They've even put their own collars on my cats and i see them frequently going into their house. Grrrrr.

Don't feed other people's cats!!

Swipe left for the next trending thread