"The reason I said I can't stop a sleepover is not because I physically can't but I think it would be embarrassing for a nearly 15yr old to not have permission to do so." Frankly that's not a good enough reason. Her safety comes way above her street cred! Or yours!
Embarrassing teens is par for the course of PARENTING teens. Decent parents will have absolutely no problem with you wanting to at least talk to them before your child stays over at theirs, get details like address etc.
My dd went on holiday with one family and the dads brother was also going with his dd and it was a caravan holiday. I asked about meeting him before I agreed to this, not only were the parents & uncle absolutely fine with this, it turned out his job was actually as a care worker in a group home for kids in the care system so he'd been background checked for his job (and yes I know that's no guarantee but it does make potential issues less likely). I also met him for a coffee and he was a lovely guy. Dd went on the holiday and had a great time. But it wouldn't have happened without me getting that reassurance.
"It's impossible to meet other parents" it's really NOT - see example above & others given by pps. YOU have to make the effort.
"They don't have parents evenings." If you're in the uk that's rubbish! And even most outside uk schools have these or similar events where parents attend school and can easily meet other parents. And again even if they don't YOU make the effort to get to know the people that are spending time with, influencing and have access to your CHILD.
"The thing that most worries me is that the OP is a childminder" IF that's true I find that really shocking because childminders are on the other end of safeguarding checks and most councils (I thought all) expect them to undertake safeguarding training before they can be registered (I'm a former childminder myself. I wouldn't trust one with such a lax attitude to safety of children).
"Does everyone text the parents and ask for their full address in this situation?" Nope! I wouldn't rely on only a text!! If I didn't ALREADY know the parents very well so that I KNEW I was texting an adult - and
Tbh by the time you know them that well you'll probably know their address anyway! Phone call at the very least.
Minis - times have changed in terms of people's awareness of how grooming works and how prevalent it is. We're also more aware of the damage alcohol does to young bodies.
I'm 46 I remember some of my friends parents being of the more permissive type - these friends were also the ones more vulnerable to older "boyfriends" with ill intentions/abusive personalities and who now they're older with teens of their own are HIGHLY critical of how they WEREN'T parented.
"This is ridiculous. A dad goes into his 15 year old daughters room and tries to be the cool parent by letting them have a drink (which he's no doubt been nagged for) and now he's some kind of nonce?
Have a word with yourselves"
really? How do you THINK grooming works? Do you know the effects of alcohol on such young bodies? The dangers?
At the very least even if he's not a "nonce" he's putting himself in a VERY Vulnerable position of possible accusations!
AT BEST the man's an irresponsible idiot - AT BEST!
At worst he is trying to groom OP's dd.
I certainly wouldn't want my dd anywhere near this guy even now!! (She's 18 soon).