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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To judge this behaviour - driving when could walk

131 replies

foreverderbyshire · 04/02/2019 16:34

I suspect that I'll be told I am but here goes!

A 13yo girl lives next door to us. She is fit and healthy, no mobility problems. Her school is a 10minute walk from her house. I'd do it in less than that, but I do walk fast. The walk is along residential streets, crossing one main road, that has both a zebra and pelican crossing.
The drive, however, is more than twice the distance, due to ours and most of the other streets around here, being blocked to cars at one end.
Her mum (or sometimes her friend's mum) gives her a lift to school every morning. She seems to walk home though (not always around at home time).
I think the parents are setting a really bad example to their daughter. There is no reason for her not to walk to school most days. We live in an area where lots of infrastructure has been put in place to discourage driving and encourage walking and cycling, hence the roads being blocked off. I used to cycle past her school on my way to drop DD at nursery. It's s five minute ride. I accept though that not everyone is comfortable on a bike.
I know people will say it's not my business / problem. But, that's one extra big engined car (it's a very large 4x4) sitting in traffic outside my kids school in the morning (DD's school is on one of the roads they'll drive down and is notorious for getting snarled up) so I feel that is IS my business, in a way.
AIBU to judge the parents? They're enabling her behaviour and aren't setting her up for a healthy outlook towards activity, and why if you can walk, then you probably should.
Right, I've got my hard hat on...

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 04/02/2019 16:39

It really is not your business but you are right she could walk to school does she walk home ?

Seeline · 04/02/2019 16:44

How do you know she is fit and healthy?
Maybe her lift would drive past her school on the way to work anyway.
And it really is none of your business.

Sausagefingers9 · 04/02/2019 16:45

I’ve seen parents on my street driving to school which is one street away Confused
I think some people are just lazy.

brownbreadicecream · 04/02/2019 16:46

Does she have young siblings? I drive my son sometimes as walking is incompatible with the younger one for various reasons on some days

userschmoozer · 04/02/2019 16:46

You don't know if there's a history that makes her or her parents feel safer in the car.
And its none of your business.

OutPinked · 04/02/2019 16:47

I don’t actually know why you give a shit tbh. You sound like a strange judging curtain twitcher. How do you know so much about this girl you are aware she has no mobility or mental health issues? It may be an anxiety thing for all you know. Maybe they’re just lazy bastards but honestly, it’s none of your business.

treaclesoda · 04/02/2019 16:48

None of your business though, is it? There's probably something that you do that her parents disapprove of. That's life.

MereDintofPandiculation · 04/02/2019 16:49

I was driven to the station every morning - my parents knew I'd manage to "miss" the train to school if I walked it.

Walnutwhipster · 04/02/2019 16:50

You have absolutely no idea what's going on in their lives, no matter how well you think you know them. It's none of your business. If this is all you have to think about, count your blessings.

Neverunderfed · 04/02/2019 16:50

I'm honestly amazed you noticed. Maybe the car is going to work and straight past?

Yellowcar2 · 04/02/2019 16:51

I love threads like this. Why on earth do you care?

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 04/02/2019 16:51

My dc go to a village school. We live an 8 min car drive away. An hours walk. All the dc who live in the main street - closer to the school than all the other houses - all get driven to school. The other day I drove past both ways and they were still scrapping snow off their cars!! Bonkers.
Parking is extremely limited as it is.

myhubbyhasjinglebells · 04/02/2019 16:51

My ds is 12 and has juvenile arthritis. He would look fit and mobile and healthy but getting him moving in the morning can be really hard. It's the worst time for arthritis and pain doesn't care if you have school/ work to get to.

I've just stopped giving him constant lifts up to school (about 1 mile up a hill). He's fine walking home (mostly).

You shouldn't judge if you don't know all the circumstances. I've found it really hard at times getting judged with his lack of mobility and no obvious physical issue 😒

LongWalkShortPlank · 04/02/2019 16:52

For all you know the girl could have been bullied on her way to school so now they drive her so an adult is with her. Maybe they do it on their way to work. She could have a whole bucketload of reasons that you don't know about. It's really none of your business at all. What cfery.

LongWalkShortPlank · 04/02/2019 16:54

Can we also take a minute to think about how creepy it is that you know the ins and outs of a random teenage girl. I think you need to focus on other things.

PowerhouseOfTheCell · 04/02/2019 16:54

Maybe she has ASD
Maybe she's got MH issues
Maybe its none of your business

2019Dancerz · 04/02/2019 16:55

It can be one way to check your child actually goes to school

museumum · 04/02/2019 16:55

Maybe she’s a flight risk and will skive if not taken there?
Or has been bullied or harassed on the way?
Or she’s prone to fainting in the mornings?
Lots of reasons.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 04/02/2019 16:55

Is someone dropping her off on the way to work? My ds2 generally gets the bus to school but DH starts work later 2 days per week and normally drops him off as he drives right past the school to get to work?

Somethingsmellsnice · 04/02/2019 16:57

Maybe she has been skipping school and this way someone ensures she gets there. That is why she walks home afterwards.

Maybe they are going that way anyway.

You also never know what "hidden" disabilities people have.

I hope while you are power walking you can pull up your judgy pants at the same time!

stayathomer · 04/02/2019 16:58

Maybe they're off to work and they just want to see her for a few extra minutes, I'm assuming you'd know if there were other siblings going to different schools. Or maybe it's any of the above explanations others have given. NOBODY can be sure what goes on in other people's worlds.

Kaykay06 · 04/02/2019 17:00

Weird knowing this much detail about someone else’s child.

I have no idea how my neighbours kids get to school mainly because I’m busy with my own kids and life to care much unless I thought a child was in danger or being harmed. I’m wondering what difference does it make to you?...how can you change it will the parents appreciate you taking this interest?...odd behaviour imo

ChakiraChakra · 04/02/2019 17:03

YABU.

Keep your nose out of other people's business.

Chinks123 · 04/02/2019 17:03

My dm drove me to school some days. (it was only a 15 minute walk and 2 minute drive) as she drove past it on her way to work anyway. Sometimes I walked if she’d left early.

When I was 16 she didnt need to drive that way, but took me to school every day as I was suffering with anxiety and refused to walk to school. Maybe she enabled my behaviour but I point blank wouldn’t have gone to school as the walk just made me so anxious.

raindropsonkittens · 04/02/2019 17:06

Stop curtain twitching.

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