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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To judge this behaviour - driving when could walk

131 replies

foreverderbyshire · 04/02/2019 16:34

I suspect that I'll be told I am but here goes!

A 13yo girl lives next door to us. She is fit and healthy, no mobility problems. Her school is a 10minute walk from her house. I'd do it in less than that, but I do walk fast. The walk is along residential streets, crossing one main road, that has both a zebra and pelican crossing.
The drive, however, is more than twice the distance, due to ours and most of the other streets around here, being blocked to cars at one end.
Her mum (or sometimes her friend's mum) gives her a lift to school every morning. She seems to walk home though (not always around at home time).
I think the parents are setting a really bad example to their daughter. There is no reason for her not to walk to school most days. We live in an area where lots of infrastructure has been put in place to discourage driving and encourage walking and cycling, hence the roads being blocked off. I used to cycle past her school on my way to drop DD at nursery. It's s five minute ride. I accept though that not everyone is comfortable on a bike.
I know people will say it's not my business / problem. But, that's one extra big engined car (it's a very large 4x4) sitting in traffic outside my kids school in the morning (DD's school is on one of the roads they'll drive down and is notorious for getting snarled up) so I feel that is IS my business, in a way.
AIBU to judge the parents? They're enabling her behaviour and aren't setting her up for a healthy outlook towards activity, and why if you can walk, then you probably should.
Right, I've got my hard hat on...

OP posts:
bobstersmum · 04/02/2019 17:27

I'll keep this short. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

MyPetRatCalledNat · 04/02/2019 17:28

Mind your own business.

BiscuitStories · 04/02/2019 17:30

I bet there are a lot of drivers on that thread Grin

m0therofdragons · 04/02/2019 17:31

People really do take an unhealthy interest in other people's lives sometimes. Why is this even worth your headspace? So many reasons she may get a lift.

WorraLiberty · 04/02/2019 17:32

MN does make me laugh at times.

Someone lights a cigarette in the wide open air and suddenly it's everyone's business.

Someone makes regular car journeys unnecessarily and it's none of the OP's business Grin

You couldn't make it up but then again, I live in London where air pollution is out of control.

PristineCondition · 04/02/2019 17:35

You daily interest in this 13 yr old girl is creepy

Underhisi · 04/02/2019 17:35

It doesn't take much imagination to think of many possible reasons why the daughter is getting a lift in the mornings.

DangermousesSidekick · 04/02/2019 17:35

Air pollution is out of control, climate change is a reality. So perhaps we do need to make things like this our collective business, but not by individuals picking on other individuals. We need a cultural sea change.

FairyBunnyAgain · 04/02/2019 17:36

It's not your business. I work less than 10 minutes from my house, it is quicker to walk than drive most days, yet I have to drive currently as I have a back issue which means that if I walk I am then in pain all day. If I could get a lift in I would walk home as it wouldn't matter then as I would be able to rest and take my painkillers.

When my DC were at school I dropped them off on my way to work most days, they could have caught the bus, but I was driving past. It really helped my eldest who has anxiety and is on the ASD spectrum as it was 1 less worry. They always got themselves home.

Sirzy · 04/02/2019 17:37

I think it’s possible to accept that many people use cars unnecessarily while realising that individual circumstances may mean that people do need to drive when generally you wouldn’t.

Gone4Good · 04/02/2019 17:38

You can't have an intelligent conversation here because of the silly "Mind your own business" comments.

OP it is your business. The traffic is terrible and it effects you. Even if it wasn't your 'business' you still have a right to discuss it.

foreverderbyshire · 04/02/2019 17:39

Interesting replies!
Yes you're right I don't know everything about their world. We know them fairly well, though, and nothing has been mentioned about s health condition. Of course it could be because of bullies / her being a truant risk.
No. It dropped off on way to work, mum doesn't work and she arrives back home as I'm leaving the house some days.
Thanks for the curtain twitcher comments. I just happen to be out and about at the same time as them, so it's very easy for me to notice what's going on. I'm not purposely standing at my door tut-tutting.

OP posts:
newnameforthis7 · 04/02/2019 17:40

Why do you think it's your business? Confused

foreverderbyshire · 04/02/2019 17:41

"Daily interest in 13yo girl is creepy". Really?! Is it too hard to imagine that to keep the same schedule as them so see them every day? 2yo, 12yo, 20yo, i notice because it's right there in front of me daily.

I accept being told iabu, but that's just a weird comment.

OP posts:
grumiosmum · 04/02/2019 17:41

Gosh, OP you are getting a hard time on here.

I totally agree with you - YANBU.

It's possible there is another reason (maybe there are health issues, maybe the kid is dropped off as part of a parent's much longer commute to work, etc) but on the face of it, I agree that driving a short, easily walkable distance every day is anti-social behaviour.

It's bad for the child's health and bad for everyone else who needs to breathe in the toxic emissions from the car. Then there's climate change.

YANBU to judge this behaviour - I would do the same (and have done)!

And here's some Flowers from me to make up for some of the nasty comments from other posters.

newnameforthis7 · 04/02/2019 17:41

@Gone4Good

Shock news for you luv.

People are entitled to different opinions to you (and the OP!) Hmm

newnameforthis7 · 04/02/2019 17:42

I also agree with the poster(s) saying it's a bit weird that you have such an interest in a random 13 y.o. you don't know.

WorraLiberty · 04/02/2019 17:43

You daily interest in this 13 yr old girl is creepy

Oh come on, really?

It's creepy that you have that mindset tbh

foreverderbyshire · 04/02/2019 17:43

I think it could be my business as their car is contributing to the pollution that I and my family breath in. If everyone who didn't need to drive, stopped, the roads would be much better placed for those that don't drive, or those that have to for health reasons etc.

OP posts:
ShowMeTheKittens · 04/02/2019 17:44

Absolutely not your business. Stop fluttering the nets and get on with life.

Underhisi · 04/02/2019 17:45

No it is not your business.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/02/2019 17:47

What good are you doing by 'judging', OP? None that I can see. You're just behaving like another impotent, thigh-rubbing nosey-parker who wants to sound off about something they have absolutely no control of.

What's the point and why do you need a collective to decide if you are being unreasonable? Are you not sure?

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/02/2019 17:48

Maybe she isn’t disabled. Who knows. I’m sure plenty of people look at me and don’t understand why I drive my dd to school with my dog, load him in and out of the car for a short run around. I hide my disability well and have a disabled badge. Arsehole parents think it’s ok to park in the disabled spaces afterall they’re only there a few minutes... precisely when I need to be there for dd.

How far up your arse are those knickers?

grumiosmum · 04/02/2019 17:48

Actually, it's everyone's business how much we choose to drive our cars - it's the number one cause of air pollution which kills children every year.

My son has asthma, and selfish people who can't be arsed with a 10-minute walk to school every day are collectively making it worse.

grumiosmum · 04/02/2019 17:49

One day, it will be as socially unacceptable as smoking, not wearing seatbelts, and driving when drunk.

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