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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To judge this behaviour - driving when could walk

131 replies

foreverderbyshire · 04/02/2019 16:34

I suspect that I'll be told I am but here goes!

A 13yo girl lives next door to us. She is fit and healthy, no mobility problems. Her school is a 10minute walk from her house. I'd do it in less than that, but I do walk fast. The walk is along residential streets, crossing one main road, that has both a zebra and pelican crossing.
The drive, however, is more than twice the distance, due to ours and most of the other streets around here, being blocked to cars at one end.
Her mum (or sometimes her friend's mum) gives her a lift to school every morning. She seems to walk home though (not always around at home time).
I think the parents are setting a really bad example to their daughter. There is no reason for her not to walk to school most days. We live in an area where lots of infrastructure has been put in place to discourage driving and encourage walking and cycling, hence the roads being blocked off. I used to cycle past her school on my way to drop DD at nursery. It's s five minute ride. I accept though that not everyone is comfortable on a bike.
I know people will say it's not my business / problem. But, that's one extra big engined car (it's a very large 4x4) sitting in traffic outside my kids school in the morning (DD's school is on one of the roads they'll drive down and is notorious for getting snarled up) so I feel that is IS my business, in a way.
AIBU to judge the parents? They're enabling her behaviour and aren't setting her up for a healthy outlook towards activity, and why if you can walk, then you probably should.
Right, I've got my hard hat on...

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 04/02/2019 22:20

"I think they should be judged and its all of our business.
We are all being affected by this girls laziness."

You can't judge because you don't know the details. The Girl might not be lazy, she might be getting driven for any of the reasons listed.

The fact that the Friend sometimes takes her makes me think that there is a genuine reason.

My first though would be truancy or bullying.

But I've known fear of other relatives, including the Father, for a child being closely guarded.

In my Friends case it was because her DD had suffered a case of attempted grooming.

Villanellenovella · 04/02/2019 22:26

Let's be honest, it's highly unlikely that fear of grooming is the reason.

Slapdasherie · 04/02/2019 22:34

Well, OP and others, if it is your business how a particular family use their car, you won't mind submitting all of your family's car journeys for approval by MN.

Oh, and any overseas flights, as well as a detailed breakdown of your recycling regime, oh and all purchases.

Everyone's use of resources is everyone else's business after all.

Go on, OP, you first.

Villanellenovella · 04/02/2019 22:41

I think driving a kid to school who could easily walk is pretty lazy.

53rdWay · 04/02/2019 22:47

Well, OP and others, if it is your business how a particular family use their car, you won't mind submitting all of your family's car journeys for approval by MN.

My family doesn’t have a car. However, if you think anything else I do is selfish and wasteful/dangerous, you’re free to say so. I promise not to throw a strop about it and demand you have to be perfect first.

MaisyPops · 05/02/2019 22:42

Well, OP and others, if it is your business how a particular family use their car, you won't mind submitting all of your family's car journeys for approval by MN.

How do you get such silly hyperbole from people saying 'you can't judge individuals but as a principle, yes there are a lot of needless car journeys to do the school run when it's a walkable distance'?

Personally, everyone has a responsibility to do their bit to look after the world. Someone might go on holiday once a year, but be great with recycling, uses the train for long journeys. Some people might car pool to work or use the park and ride. Others might have to drive. Others might get public transport, especially in cities where the infrastructure is better. Some may make a decision to buy local veg boxes or avoid eating out of season foods. Different people may do different things.

Whether we agree or disagree on that front, promoting laziness and a sedentaty lifstyle is still ridiculous. The people doing 3 minute car journeys to school over walking when there's no need is pure and simple laziness. Your average adult and child is more than capable of walking 10-15minutes. There's so many threads on mumsnet of parking issues around the school gates. Some people who claim they are so busy so couldn't possibly walk, park outside school 30 mins before the end of the day to get a good spot! Others shove their cars wherever with zero concern for safety, because heaven forbid little cherub has to walk 50 yards further. Like it or not, there are large numbers of students who are ferried everywhere and it's laziness.

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