AIBU to want a home birth for first baby?

[User383673]

I would NEVER have had myself down as a home birth kind of person. Have always said I would want an epidural right away. But I’ve been doing a lot of research and I am now thinking that actually a home birth might be right for me. Here are the pros and cons as I see it:

pros

Get to be at home - much nicer & more enjoyable

DH truly useless in hospitals, will probably faint

I also hate hospitals

Worried about cascade of intervention

Kept in hospital for things you wouldn’t be sent to hospital for

Guaranteed birthing pool (if I hire)

2 midwives just for you

Less likely to tear & have forceps used

cons

Slightly increased risk of poor outcome

No epidural

Maybe a bit old? (30)

Likely to end up in hospital anyway

What if it all goes wrong?

Has anyone had a home birth for a first pregnancy? Does anyone have advice / experience to share?

Thank you!

So, I get that this is two sets of midwives, but ultimately they must come from the same pool, ie, gone through the same training, etc. There does appear to be a bit of a mis-match with not enough midwives routinely available in the hospitals.

Community midwives would still exist though. Even if they didn't do home births they'd still be needed for all of the other bits. so they still wouldn't all be hospital midwives.

Had my first and second at home. I naturally labour long and my midwives were totally wonderful. Had I been in hospital they would've intervened as they don't have bed space for long labours and I probably wouldn't have had the lovely natural experience I had at home. I know this as for my 3rd I had to be in hospital and they tried to induce my labour as I was taking too long. I refused and stood my ground that I should be left to labour naturally as that's how my body does it. If it had been my first I would've have known that and they would've intervened which statistically leads to c section or tearing.

Mine was absolutely fantastic as a first time mum. Couldn't fault it, I'm so glad I did it!

This is up to you, however I wouldn't. I was hoping for midwife led unit and gas and air. I ended up on the labour ward and I am so glad I did. DS was transverse, which they didn't know until fairly late on, and I haemhorraged and lost five pints of blood. I would have died had I been at home. I would not risk it. They won't intervene unless necessary and you don't have to have an epidural (although I would recommend it!)

The only catastrophic births (severe brain damage) I've come across personally happened in hospital. As they were attributed to midwife inexperience and over stretching they almost certainly wouldn't have happened at home.

OP have a chat with your midwife and go through your options. My understanding is that you'd be transferred at the slightest suggestion of anything going wrong. Also the midwife would be highly experienced.

Distance to hospital is also a factor. I was a two minute drive from hospital. Unfortunately I was not a suitable candidate for a homebirth, but I would have given it seriously consideration if I had been.

4 weeks ago I had an accidental home birth exactly two weeks early. We were so lucky that nothing went wrong because there were no midwives available in the area!

The paramedics walked through the door just before my baby arrived an we ended up at the hospital due to 3rd degree and top tear.

This was my second labour with no pain relief aside from a bit of gas and air however I still had to have surgery under spinal and an overnight stay in hospital this time which I absolutely didn't want.

Although I didn't plan for it we managed but only because we were lucky.

I had a HB with my first, aged 33.

My thoughts were that my mother and sister had both had two uncomplicated births (which gave me the confidence that it could be done, I'm sure if they'd both had traumatic births with plenty of complications it would have deterred me), my community MWs were completely on board, hospital is only a 15min blue light run away, I had one to one uninterrupted care (2nd MW didn't have time to arrive!) and was surrounded by home comforts, no external stresses, could be totally uninhibited and no strange people around me.
I was in control.

It doesn't work for everyone and I was open to having to transfer if I had to.

I was lucky that it was an almost perfect birth, I got by entirely on Tens and hardly touched the G&A. Apart from delivering the placenta. (Into a bucket. Which we kept and later buried in the garden!)

I hope to have another HB as long as this pregnancy continues uncomplicated.

Do what is best for you and your partner. Sounds as though you want a HB so just speak to your MWs and see how things go.
Good luck!

As I’m sure others have said tearing is much more common in a pool birth.

How does your partner feel about a home birth?

He is very clear that it’s my choice and he will support whatever, but he really likes the idea of a home birth. He is truly useless in hospitals. It’s not his fault but he can’t cope with needles and medical equipment at all. When I had an emergency appendectomy he was sent home from A&E by hospital staff because he fainted twice 😬

Thank you so much everyone for sharing experiences, good and bad - there’s so much helpful stuff to think about here!

I had my first at home and I’m so happy I did. I found this very helpful to read: www.homebirth.org.uk/hbstories.htm

As I’m sure others have said tearing is much more common in a pool birth. I think that there are conflicting studies on this! Generally the view now seems to be that there isn’t an increased likelihood of tearing as far as I’m aware.

I was just like you op- I really didn’t want a hospital birth. We had a birthing pool at home the kit all delivered. I was totally 100 percent focussed on having the baby at home. We ended up with no active labour at home, 3 days in hospital and then emergency c section. And a maaaasive baby. It turned out the midwives had missed that I was suffering from maternal diabetes. Despite several trips to my gp complaining of symptoms. It was my first baby- I didn’t know what was a red flag. Basically what I’m saying is double check everything my anti natal care was shit. But I didn’t know. Make sure you know you and your baby are actually good candidates for home birth. I had to insist I went in in the end because they kept putting me off after waters broke. Good luck

Firstly, I don't doubt home births are ideal. They sound wonderful and on paper it's an obvious choice.

For me the main issue is that you don't know how your body births. You might find it relatively straight forward. You really might not. Even if you discount the risk of needing immediate assisted or surgical delivery, a long latent phase or a back to back labour could really influence your pain relief needs. How will you feel if you need to transfer for pain relief, or you're scared at how long it's taking? Will you feel like you failed? How will you feel with little monitoring? The holy grail of 4cm dilated and getting to hospital can be the light in the distance in a long labour.

I think I would see how this labour goes, physically and psychologically, and plan a home birth for any future babies, if your labour is straightforward.

I transfered to hospital in the back of our car after trying to have home births, no pressure from the midwives. Nothing was going badly wrong, with hindsight we would have been fine at home if we had been better informed. Go for it if you are happy with your desision OP (can't believe 30 is on the old side!)

You should look at the 'birth place' study. This will give you factual evidence about what are your best options.
Getting people's stories of their own experiences is not the best measure of what is best for you so I advise read the facts. Consider your midwifery service/ own midwives/ distance to hospital.
Pain relief is individual, one persons pain coping mechanisms are completely different to the next persons.
Labouring in water is considered pain relief and it reduces the need for more pharmacological methods. Entenox/ pethidine/ aromatherapy/ hypnotherapy are all methods likely to be available to you.
Being open minded to your options and making a thoughtful decision is best and discuss your pros and cons with your midwife 😊

Btw 30 is not old in the context of pregnancy or in any other way!

Have you got a midwife led unit near you? It's all home comforts and mood lighting and music and you should get a pool. Downside is that they have v v v strict criteria for turning you away. 2 out of 5 people that start labour in our MLU are transferred to hospital. I was one of them. It was only 10 min away but being blue lighted and having contractions on the stretcher over bumps in the road and my husband not being there as was following in the car, was pretty grim!

The thing is you can plan for what birth you want but it's completely random. I found the longer the labour the less people cope with the pain and the more likely they are to need pain relief

I'd look into the stats then weigh it all up. How many first time mums give birth without any intervention or pain relief? How many change their mind? How many actually get to use their pool throughout (it slows labour for a lot of people)

Also think about after - how many mums then have to go into hospital to be stitched up? How many babies then have to go to hospital as there is something they want to check over or they need a bit of extra help? You might not want to go through doing it at home if there's a high chance you'll have to go there straight after

After my daughter was stillborn I joined a local sands group ( a support group for those who experience stillbirth/ neonatal death) and met a woman who’s baby died during a home birth. Had she been in hospital they could have saved him by an emergency section. I wouldn’t risk it...but i guess this is probably rare- you need to decide if you feel the risks are acceptable to you.

Some of the statistics are a bit tricky, for example, higher risk pregnancies are booked for the hospital so that skews the forceps stat. You are more likely to be booked for a homebirth for a second delivery when the first has gone well, so that skews that one.
Personally, I wouldn't. You are an unknown risk. I wanted a home birth and was persuaded to book in hospital. My baby needed resuscitation and special care at birth, totally unexpected. It's nice to be proved wrong if all goes well, but if your baby dies??

YANBU at all.
I’ve experienced both hospital and home birth and would choose home a million times over.
Me or my baby would have to be literally dying in order for me to willingly give birth in a hospital again. The whole experience was utter shite - I felt like a medical experiment subject, being poked and prodded by every man and his dog In my mind, a birth following an uncomplicated pregnancy, with no underlying medical conditions or indicators that there might be anything amiss, is not some dangerous medical emergency - it’s usually a very straightforward bodily function.
Obviously things do sometimes go unexpectedly wrong, but there are measures in place with home births to get you the help you need as quickly as possible should that happen.
I would have definitely had my first at home had it been an option - short staffing at the time meant there wasn’t enough community midwives to facilitate a home birth service

You can change your mind at any point op, you don't have to stick with it just because it's planned. You could be in labour and think nope this isn't for me and it's fine, just go in! If you think you'd like to give it a go then why not? No one knows how your birth will go. HB wasn't for me but I did plan on MLU, things didn't go to plan so that didn't happen but by all means plan for it if you think you might like the chance.

I did it, but I'm not in the UK. Home births are much more common in this country (although not as popular for first births for obvious reasons). But I felt very strongly that the birth would go more smoothly if I was at home, in my own environment, and in my case I was completely right. Everything went perfectly (even without pain relief - they don't use gas and air over here) so I did it again for DC2. It was fantastic.

What I would say is, do your research. Read up on the different stages of labour, what your body is doing, how you can help it (moving, different positions, breathing techniques) so you don't panic or try to fight it - that's when things go wrong. Good luck, OP!

The only pain relief that worked on me was epidural so I'm glad I didn't have a home birth!

You're going to get flamed for this by every uneducated about homebirth numpty on mn. Don't let it put you off, have a read of Ina May gaskin's books if you haven't already. Good luck!