AIBU to want a home birth for first baby?

[User383673]

I would NEVER have had myself down as a home birth kind of person. Have always said I would want an epidural right away. But I’ve been doing a lot of research and I am now thinking that actually a home birth might be right for me. Here are the pros and cons as I see it:

pros

Get to be at home - much nicer & more enjoyable

DH truly useless in hospitals, will probably faint

I also hate hospitals

Worried about cascade of intervention

Kept in hospital for things you wouldn’t be sent to hospital for

Guaranteed birthing pool (if I hire)

2 midwives just for you

Less likely to tear & have forceps used

cons

Slightly increased risk of poor outcome

No epidural

Maybe a bit old? (30)

Likely to end up in hospital anyway

What if it all goes wrong?

Has anyone had a home birth for a first pregnancy? Does anyone have advice / experience to share?

Thank you!

One of the main reasons I opted for a home birth was the continuity of care available. Our area had a home birth team and during my first pregnancy I got to know them really well. Each appointment was in my home and lasted at least 30-45 mins so they got to know me as well. When my first home birth didn't work out my midwife recognised the warning signs and got me blue lighted into hospital. She stayed with me throughout the whole process until I was moved to the post-natal ward. Because she knew me so well by that point she was able to advocate for me when I wasn't in a fit state to do so. I'll never forget her saying to the doctor "don't do that she won't like it" - I don't know what "it" was but I completely trusted her and knew she would be correct. She then visited me on the ward and and when I came home she did all the after-care and breast feeding support. Although my first birth wasn't as I had hoped she still made it an empowering experience. I also got the impression that I got top-notch treatment from the hospital team because my midwife was there keeping an eye on them!

The same midwife did all my antenatal checks and delivered my second child at home. When she came for my first appointment in that pregnancy it was like welcoming an old friend back, for both me and DH.

Having the time to build that relationship was so important and made my pregnancies and labours really special experiences. I can't quite believe I got such amazing care on the NHS - it felt like top price private care to me!

I wanted a home birth but couldn’t have one because my pregnancy went from low risk to high risk thanks to gestational diabetes. I am so glad that I gave birth in hospital as I had a short cord, something which wasn’t obvious until the placenta was delivered, but my baby would never have arrived safely without help. I had two brilliant midwives and as soon as it became clear there were issues there was a registrar, a consultant, a pediatrician and a senior midwife in the room. That would never have happened at home. I was petrified of having any kind of intervention beforehand but I did and I think it probably saved my daughters life. Yes, it took a while to heal but it wasn’t half as bad as I expected. The hospital midwives also provided brilliant support for BFing and strictly policed visiting time in the postnatal ward, so no men overnight in the ward and rest times during the day. I know that not all hospitals are good, but they really aren’t all that bad either. I wouldn’t even consider a home birth in the future.

Windyone most polls come with an electric pump that pumps the water out of the pool and down the drain of your choice

DS would've died if I'd had a home birth, we had to literally sprint to theatre and I had my EMCS under general anaesthetic because an epidural wouldn't be quick enough. I was a very fit, healthy and young first time mum, very low risk, and I was offered a home birth. Thank God I didn't take it, it makes me weepy to think about what would have happened to my precious boy

These threads always go badly in my experience. There are some very vocal anti-homebirthers. Most of whom don’t know what they are talking about tbh.

I’m a midwife. I have seen births ‘go wrong’ hundreds of times. I still booked a homebirth with my first. And when I saw that things were starting to deviate from the norm (baby poorly positioned, slow progress, waters had been broken for 24 hours so higher risk of infection) we transferred into hospital. It is that easy usually. Things rarely suddenly become desperate emergencies. Even those instances where things are fine one minute and you’re in theatre having an emergency c-section usually have warning signs and the professionals involved will be aware. The difference with a homebirth is that you don’t take the same risks as you would in a hospital as you know there is no back up.

I had DS (first baby) at an MLU attached to the 'big' hospital here. It wasn't my first choice as our local MLU shut for a number of months due to low staffing levels. However, had I been at the smaller MLU, or at home, I would have ended up blue lighted to the labour ward at the first sign of trouble. As it was it was just upstairs so the midwife said we may need to move you depending on what happens and I was able to give birth in the MLU (although did have to get out of the pool).

I had all of mine at home, including my first and it was lovely. The risks of anything going wrong are quite minuscule and unless you’re like an hour from hospital, you’ll be blue lighted into theatre as fast as anyone on the ward can sign consents and wait for on call staff get in and scrubbed up. What small risks there are are balanced against the increased risks created by a hospital birth (like risks of birth injuries or PPH).

Both of my births were lovely and straightforward, but my first took a bit longer (only 11 hours). If I’d been in hospital, they absolutely would have ended up performing an instrumental delivery (heightened risk of injury to both of us, never mind just traumatic). Because we were at home, they could give us a bit more time and all was fine in the end. She was born with no fuss when we finally got to it, even if labour progressed a bit slower. I’m incredibly grateful we got spared that unnecessary trauma.

So yes, I’d definitely go for it. There are some lovely supportive home birth groups online you should connect with.

Op
I had a hole birth and I would again .

Relaxed. Pain relief free because I was in familiar surroundings. Had my girl
And had a bath and got back into my own lovely bed with my dd in a Moses basket next to me.

I loved it. That was 21 years ago. Thouroughly recommend home birth if no issues or complications.

I had a homebirth with my first. Speedy 3 hour labour. Midwife turned up 20 mins before baby popped out.
I was keen to avoid hospital as didn't want any instruments of torture uneccessarily going near my nether regions!
Plenty of first timers have a homebirth, as long as your pregnancy is fine than there's no reason not to have one tbh.

Just from another perspective, I had a wonderful experience giving birth in hospital. I honestly can't think of one aspect that I was disappointed or let down by apart from not being allowed to go home and come back in two weeks - I think that's called transition... In fact i was asked on the post natal ward how long I'd like to stay in for and was a bit gutted that I really had no reason to stay in longer. Same midwife from first contractions to birth to stitching me up and making me presentable (total of 12 hours). Choice of birthing suite. No major intervention. No instruments. It's not so bad all the time.

It’s totally your choice - just make it an informed one!

Personally I’m faced with the same choice and I’ve decided not to. Just based on the rates of transfer (45% of first timers), the shitty traffic between my house and the hospital, and the higher rate of negative outcomes for first timers (5 in 1000 in hospital, 9 in 1000 at home).

But that’s my personal decision - I can still see plenty of sensible reasons to go for a home birth. The undivided attention and the continuity of care being a major one!

LaurieMarlow, as pp said, statistically speaking, catastrophic births are more likely in hospital because the higher risk pregnancies tend to be looked after there.

Both the examples I known of were low risk.

In both cases they were inadequately monitored, on the ward, by over stretched and inexperienced midwives.

Of course both babies were attended to by a team of doctors as soon as they were born, but the damage had been done by then.

If they'd been properly looked after by experienced midwives, the outcome would have been different. And that would have happened in a home birth situation. They would have been blue lighted to hospital immediately, rather than keep labouring, baby in trouble, because no one noticed anything was wrong,

hospital is only a 15min blue light run away

Can you hold your breath for 15 minutes? It's a very long time without oxygen for the baby if something goes wrong.

Oh, plus the time added on waiting for an ambulance.

What small risks there are are balanced against the increased risks created by a hospital birth (like risks of birth injuries or PPH).

Why are the risks of birth injuries and PPH increased by being in hospital? Not asking to be passive aggressive, I’m genuinely interested!

The advice has always been that if you are planning a home birth you need to be planning to avoid pain relief apart from gas and air which they bring. If you think you may want an epidural then hospital is your better option, transfer in labour is for medical reasons (and assumes an ambulance is available, unless it's an emergency it can take a while on busy days)

Harryo it’s not free birthing. You do have medically trained midwives with you.

I couldn't do it as PP said my baby wouldn't be here if I'd have chosen that option so I'd never entertain it x

Ps I had two natural drug free births in hospital, you just say no.

My baby would have been fine if I'd had a home birth. He wouldn't have a mother though. I just wouldn't take the risk

I had a terrible experience in hospital with my first labour that I seriously considered a home birth second time around.

I’m sure you’ll hear lots of lovely home birth stories and if all goes according to plan I’m sure it’s absolute heaven being comfy in your own home and being able to get into your own bed straight away. But I decided against it, in the end. My partner really wasn’t keen and the more I thought about it, i decided my reasons for wanting one were quite selfish in the sense I really didn’t want to go to hospital again, and it was all my worries and hesitations making this decision, but when I took myself out of the equation and thought where would the baby be safer if there was a problem - that was the decision made.

I had a water birth in a lovely calm room. Baby was back to back so took quite a long time, very painful and needed a lot of stitches. I was definitely in the right place and equally it felt nice and calm too.

How come on mumsnet every other poster or their dc ‘nearly died’ in labour? It just isn’t that common!

I'm not against home births but in both my pregnancies I resented the push towards it, that and the non-medicalised route. I was low risk all the way through in my first pregnancy but I said no when my community midwife asked if I would consider one. Then when I was in labour my DH called to tell them we were on our way and they tried to persuade us to stay at home!

We would have had to transfer to hospital if I'd have attempted a home birth because DS1 got stuck, I had an episiotomy and DS1 was resuscitated. I'm not being dramatic - I know he wouldn't have died at home as it wouldn't have got that far but when it came to it I was grateful that the route to the delivery unit was 5 minutes down the corridor rather than a 30 minute drive in an ambulance plus waiting time.

With DS2 a home birth wasn't advisable as I had cholestasis and I followed the recommendation to be induced, which, actually, was a much better experience than having a spontaneous labour. At my last appointment with the community midwife they tried to encourage me not to be induced and to wait until I went into labour naturally

How come on mumsnet every other poster or their dc ‘nearly died’ in labour? It just isn’t that common!

really? How many women have a c-section, how many babies are in distress, how many birth are actually "natural" with 0 medical intervention whatsoever?

So it might not be every other mother in real life, but of course it IS common.

I have had a home birth with my all kids and am planning another one. My aunty died in labour in hospital by nhs negligence. They were understaffed and her midwife assigned to her was still training and her superviser wasn't watching her properly. She missed vital signs and the baby and then my aunt subsequently died. Coroner said both baby and my aunt would have survived if given the correct care. Bad things can happen anywhere. Hospital isn't some magically place where it all goes right.