AIBU to want a home birth for first baby?

[User383673]

I would NEVER have had myself down as a home birth kind of person. Have always said I would want an epidural right away. But I’ve been doing a lot of research and I am now thinking that actually a home birth might be right for me. Here are the pros and cons as I see it:

pros

Get to be at home - much nicer & more enjoyable

DH truly useless in hospitals, will probably faint

I also hate hospitals

Worried about cascade of intervention

Kept in hospital for things you wouldn’t be sent to hospital for

Guaranteed birthing pool (if I hire)

2 midwives just for you

Less likely to tear & have forceps used

cons

Slightly increased risk of poor outcome

No epidural

Maybe a bit old? (30)

Likely to end up in hospital anyway

What if it all goes wrong?

Has anyone had a home birth for a first pregnancy? Does anyone have advice / experience to share?

Thank you!

Thank you

I've had 3 homebirths, including for my first. Very happy I made the decision to birth at home, was very well supported. My first labour was long but I was in my own environment so not rushed at all

I think there must be more to the statistics re people who had very urgent emergency deliveries in a hospital (myself being one of them!) with baby being delivered within minutes of a button being pressed after a massive rush to theatre and forceps/c-section. I know countless people classed as ‘low-risk’ in pregnancy who have had this kind of birth, including for subsequent babies so not just first babies.
Yet statistically it’s almost as safe to home birth for first baby and statistically equally safe to home birth for second baby... so surely it really isn’t the case that every person who ended with an emcs/crash instrumental delivery would have ended up with a dead baby if they’d opted for a home birth?

After care was also excellent where I was. MW came back later that day and did the checks, and the next few days I had community MWs daily.

No grim post-labour. (And they are grim).

Your own shower, clean bed, cup of tea in your own mug, toast and a brand new baby. Most wonderful moments.

I considered a home birth for my first but in the end I was too nervous that something would go wrong. I ended up in the hospital, and after a slightly less than ideal start (left in a side room without a midwife as the main birthing ward was full) I ended up in a room with a pool, music, dimmed lights and 2 midwives who never left me for the 2.5 hours it took to give birth. Incidentally DD came out not breathing and was rushed out to the resuss team.

Would love a home birth next time and definitely would if it wasn't for the small issue of DD not breathing first time. I know the midwives are trained in this but having a team of doctors on hand in the hospital to get her breathing and run tests for the next 24 hours was so reassuring. My midwife even said "And that's why I don't understand why people choose a home birth."... I don't think I'd be able to relax next time as I would be convinced the same would happen again. But will definitely chat it through with my midwives.

Also, if you want to be convinced that a hospital birth is the best option, read This is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay.

I'm in the 40% of first-timers that transferred in. It was no great emergency (the ambulance waited while we fannied about packing bags). It just became apparent that DC1's positioning meant I'd need an instrumental delivery (ventouse). I was living under 2 miles from the hospital so transfer was quick and easy.

However I did wait several hours between waters breaking and a midwife turning up, during which I was without pain relief, which was a downside.

For my second birth I officially booked for a home birth, but informed the midwives I'd see how I felt on the day. As I went into labour in the wee small hours, when there is less midwife coverage, I opted to go into hospital, as I didn't want to be so long without pain relief second time.

Not sure how it works in other hospitals but I had a dedicated midwife with me the whole time from monitoring onwards. I was taken into a lovely delivery site when I was 3cm, there was a digital radio, it was light and spacious, private bathroom, big comfy chair, bouncy ball thing (I ended up on lots of monitors so couldn't use them) and if I'd not been high risk I could've used the MLU on the hospital grounds which is even more informal, with pools etc. I've got to admit I didn't consider a HB largely because of the risk in my pregnancy and I just got a new bed and expensive mattress! I haemorrhaged a litre of blood and DH has said it was like a bucket full (exaggeration) so selfishly glad it wasn't at home!

Hi, I had half a home birth and then DS moved back to back transverse and I had to be transferred! (He is still being awkward aged 4 ).

While it was going well it was nice, I spent a lot of time in the bath. If it had worked out I would have avoided being on the postnatal ward as well, which would have been nice because that was not fun at all! I loved the idea of being safe and comfortable in my own home. Do your own research, the extra risks for a home birth in a low risk pregnancy are vanishingly small so dont let people who have never actually looked into it try and frighten you with what they imagine it to be like.

I have not considered one this time (38 weeks with DC2). A big reason for that is that we now live an hour away from the hospital, whereas before we lived a 5 min drive away. The other reason is that I have had a very different pregnancy, a scare over the baby's health, and some health problems myself, so I have a very different attitude to risk this time (bordering on anxious and irrational so I am not saying this is right either!). It has also been nice not worrying about the homebirth midwives not being available and having to change my plans last minute.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I had a quick easy labour first time- 3 hours from having a show to baby being born. So very fast. I considered a home birth for ds2. However it was dp’s first baby, and he was worried something may go wrong and we couldn’t get to hospital in time. So I knew if I pushed for a home birth dp would be really worried. So I went with a hospital birth. As it was again fast- show to baby 1 1/3 hours.. we didn’t even get into a delivery room! So it would have been fine at home. But I had to consider dp’s feelings too. But over all we had a easy labour and a healthy baby and really that’s the outcome we wanted, regardless of where babe was born.

I must add that the only 2 ladies I know who had home births are themselves midwives, which does tell me its not a ‘completely insane’ idea as a lot of people seem to think.

I had a home birth with my first. Bought NCT birthpool in a box & no pain relief.
Personally I decided yo go for it because I did not want 'cascade of intervention ' you talked about.
It was fantastic & definitely shaped my second birth also.
Go for it

I wouldn’t risk it. I have been the person that’s needed rushing into theatre twice now and had I had a home birth, I’m unsure whether DC or I would be alive. Second time the actual birth was perfect and I had no pain relief, stayed at home until I was 9cm dilated but suffered retained placenta and huge PPH straight after. I needed emergency surgery and blood transfusions. With DC1 they only realised his shoulder was stuck when I started pushing so needed emergency forceps delivery like PRONTO.

If you only live a 5-10 minute drive from the hospital it may not be so bad but any further and I just wouldn’t risk it. I had perfect textbook pregnancies but I evidently do not labour very well so that’s proof low risk pregnancies do not equal low risk births.

PM me if you want more info

I had a homebirth with my youngest purely because of the midwives looking after you. My first birth, in hospital, was horrid because they were so short staffed and busy.

and

The midwives who cover home births aren’t hospital ones anyway. So it doesn’t impact anyone who opts for hospital birth.

So, I get that this is two sets of midwives, but ultimately they must come from the same pool, ie, gone through the same training, etc. There does appear to be a bit of a mis-match with not enough midwives routinely available in the hospitals.

And the OP comments You don’t have 2 for the whole time, just while you’re in active labour. Maybe the cost is balanced against the cost of filling a hospital bed? Not sure how it’s all worked out. Cost must be secondary to actually having people available who are trained to do the work.

I had both mine at home. First time I was 34 second time 39 and high risk. Both were totally textbook births with no pain relief (gas and air makes me feel sick unfortunately) and natural third stages.

If I were you I’d at least start off at Home. You can always transfer in if you change your mind.

Remember though at home you get two midwives to yourself. In hospital you’re sharing one with lots of other women.

I had a home birth in a pool at home, for first baby, age 34. It was all good. I was overweight too, not super fit. I did a lot of reading about it beforehand, and about active birth, all that helped. I thought long and hard about what I could do to deal with pain and had lots of strategies from simple breathing techniques and visualisations to TENS machine and having DP press on my shoulders- all of which I was sceptical about beforehand but worked brilliantly for me, along with gas and air especially for the last hour

To end the day sat on my sofa in my dressing gown with my beautiful baby in my arms, eating quiche my mum made, was fabulous. I was completely exhausted going into labour after several sleepless nights of latent labour, I'm sure being at home helped me keep going.

As a PP though, I really struggled with breastfeeding in subsequent weeks and had no idea it could be a challenge. I got help, from La Leche League and amazing bf counsellor at local clinic, thank goodness.

Lots of people said oo you're brave, but two close family members had horrible experiences in hospital. But as they say, the plural of anecdote is not data. You never know what's going to happen and must keep an open mind. Prepare to stay home and pack a hospital bag.

Look round your local MLU, you might be surprised how nice it is. I think homebirth for a first one is not entirely crazy, but labour varies so much between women and it's hard to know how you'll respond let alone whether any medical issues crop up.

I had an ambulance transfer from a standalone birthing unit to a big hospital with DD, not an experience I would recommend! In an MLU within a bigger hospital you know you're close to the serious bits in case you need them, imho an important thing!

I would say to include all eventualities in your birth plan, don't get too hung up on how you want things to go because it's ultimately not 100% under your control, also don't forget to find out about things like babycare and breastfeeding, lots of people I know had problems BF and I wished I'd spent longer learning about that and less time focusing on a birth that went however it was going to go anyway...

Have had 3 ML birth centre births and for me it’s the best compromise between home birth and hospital birth.
Main reason first time was that you got your own room with DH for 24 hours afterwards instead of post natal ward which I believe is actually hell on earth.
With Baby 2 & 3 had quick relativily easy births but then placenta didn’t deliver so had to have it removed. But still had all the upside of a quick recovery after straight forward delivery and was home 24 later each time. Had I been at home I would have ended up transferred in each time.
For me it was a good middle ground-midwives focussed on you and are not pushing interventions/ pain relief unless you want it and back up is down the hallway if you need it. Would recommend looking into it.

For me, all the pros of a home birth are for the mother. And for me (only me, I realise everybody is different!) the needs of the baby outweighed my own needs, massively. And another one here who's baby would've died if I'd had her at home. You just never know with your first how you're going to be.

Home births have been found to be safer than hospital
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2742137/

Though I'd accept this would not be the case if you were known in advance to have complications that would require hospital interventions.

I planned a home birth for my first. Unfortunately I ended up having to be induced due to eclampsia but I don't regret planning for a home birth at all and would still say go for it if you want to. My midwife was amazing and I feel completely confident that if I had got to give birth at home it would have been super. The advice I would give would be to work closely with your midwife and to also check out the local hospital in case you end up needing the plan B. It's fine to have home birth as your preference as long as you're prepared for the fact you might need to flexible when the time comes.

Definitely look at midwife led units as an alternative. I spoke to my midwife about it as the maternity unit at my local hospital where I have all the appointments is one and it really appealed to me. Ok so no epidural but you do get the chance of a birthing pool with gas & air and IF something did go wrong. the usual transfer from calling the ambulance to arriving at hospital is 30 minutes on average. She also said as you'd be arriving by ambulance, you'd get seen as a priority. Some food for thought. I'm definitely tempted although DH isn't keen

How does your partner feel about a home birth? If you do opt for it, I would say you need a supportive partner who will remain calm and be there for you and know where to find everything the midwives need ie towels, light egg
I wanted a hb for my 1st but DH was not keen at all and thought it was very hippydippy new age. My mw was great and spoke to him about the pros and cons but he still wasn't keen. In the end I opted for hospital birth. Figured if anything went wrong at home, it would be DH dealing with it all and it wasn't fair on him. The baby is 50% him, so thought his opinion should be considered. I ended up having a textbook delivery, very calm and he was very supportive. So much so, that he was a lot more on-board for baby no 2 being a hb, which she ended up being.
I think as long as you are open minded to Labour and delivery possibly not being what you plan, a hb is possible.

Essentially this question will always be answered by a broad spectrum of opinions, ranging in extremes from one to another. It's unlikely to make your mind up for you. You must assess the risks, pros and cons of both and decide where you will feel most comfortable.

Op if you are on fb search for a hb group where you will get more factual info. Some of the stuff being written on here isn't fact!