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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want a home birth for first baby?

226 replies

User383673 · 04/02/2019 15:51

I would NEVER have had myself down as a home birth kind of person. Have always said I would want an epidural right away. But I’ve been doing a lot of research and I am now thinking that actually a home birth might be right for me. Here are the pros and cons as I see it:

pros

Get to be at home - much nicer & more enjoyable

DH truly useless in hospitals, will probably faint

I also hate hospitals

Worried about cascade of intervention

Kept in hospital for things you wouldn’t be sent to hospital for

Guaranteed birthing pool (if I hire)

2 midwives just for you

Less likely to tear & have forceps used

cons

Slightly increased risk of poor outcome

No epidural

Maybe a bit old? (30)

Likely to end up in hospital anyway

What if it all goes wrong?

Has anyone had a home birth for a first pregnancy? Does anyone have advice / experience to share?

Thank you!

OP posts:
FiveRedBricks · 04/02/2019 16:10

I had a home water birth with my first in 2017. I was 31. Two dedicated midwives. Checks every 15 minutes (instead of every few hours at the local Women's hospital). No conveyor belt culture or interventions.

I had a grade 2 tear after and needed to be transferred in for a few hours to get myself sewn up. That was the only downside - but only because our Women's hospital is so shockingly bad. In 3hrs they ruined the entire previous 24 of my birth.

Home birth and dedicated midwives EVERY time. I used One 2 One midwives. I would recommend them to everyone and anyone. Brilliant group of people!

Hillarious · 04/02/2019 16:11

What I've always wondered about home births is, if you've got two midwives, how does that impact on other people? We're not exactly over-run with midwives.

Original poster
User383673 · 04/02/2019 16:12

I’m definitely not anti-epidural and am sure I would ask for one if in hospital. It’s more that I need to decide if the benefit of an epidural outweighs the benefits of being at home (plus considering the risks, of course).

Definitely good advice to discuss with midwife! I might also speak to my MIL who is a retired midwife.

OP posts:
lnfb · 04/02/2019 16:13

I'm probably going for a home birth with my first baby too. It's a personal thing, people can tell you horror stories about labour in general but everyone's experience will be different.
Do what's right for you and I wish you all the best with the arrival of your first bubba

O4FS · 04/02/2019 16:14

If you think you want a HB, plan for one. You don’t have to go through with it, and have the option to change your mind at any point.

At a HB you have more control I think: the care of two experienced midwives who are with you the whole time, and will transfer with you should you go in. There are no hospital protocols to follow (ie intervention at two hours pushing). They bring resus kit and everything they need.

In a hospital you may have one MW looking after you and other women, and a student MW delivering your baby. (I refused a student and intervention for DC1 and I think this altered the course of things for my next 3 babies which were delivered at home). I think the difference was I had a birthing partner who was experienced and understood what was important to me, and knew to check in with me and what I wanted when the doctors came round, rather than be dictated to according to procedure.

Speak to your MW team and if they are encouraging start planning. Pack a hospital bag ready in case you change your mind. Don’t get lots of nice posh biscuits in for the midwives, go over due and eat them yourself. Grin

Original poster
User383673 · 04/02/2019 16:14

Blanca87 that’s lovely, thank you!

Hillarious not sure! You don’t have 2 for the whole time, just while you’re in active labour. Maybe the cost is balanced against the cost of filling a hospital bed? Not sure how it’s all worked out.

OP posts:
Janek · 04/02/2019 16:14

I had a hb with both my dds, i had planned to use a pool with dd1, but in the event i didn't want to remove the tens machine so i didn't use it. I wanted a home birth for all the reasons you said, and i was very happy with how they turned out both times (despite 9lb10 dd2's 98th centile head!!!).

Being at home meant I felt in control of everything and felt the midwives were very 'respectful' to me in my own home.

The only down side was I didn't get a huge amount of help with breast feeding and ended up in hospital with a dehydrated 5-day-old dd1. That experience (the helplessness, losing my autonomy, trying to follow someone else's rules and being told off when I didn't manage it...) led me to think that the home birth had been the right choice!

burritofan · 04/02/2019 16:16

OP, I'm planning a home birth with my first too. And I'm a geriatric 37! Although I'm only 6 minutes from hospital (in my clapped-out old banger, probably 1/3 that by ambulance) so it feels less risky. My birth plan is pretty much "let's try it this way but at the first hint of ~anything, transfer, no arguments or delays from me".

My area is statistically great for home birth with comparable outcomes to hospital birth. I do think some of the statistics are skewed, i.e. you're more likely to have forceps in hospital because you're more likely to have forceps with a tricky birth, for which you'd be in hospital anyway, if that makes sense? Hard to sort out the causation/correlation with some of it.

Original poster
User383673 · 04/02/2019 16:16

Don’t get lots of nice posh biscuits in for the midwives, go over due and eat them yourself. Grin

Sounds like an excellent perk!

OP posts:
ExFury · 04/02/2019 16:17

Research your area and decide what is best for you.

I had a homebirth with my youngest purely because of the midwives looking after you. My first birth, in hospital, was horrid because they were so short staffed and busy. My DD was crowning by the time my ex managed to get someone to come and check on me (I was in a 4 bed “monitoring” ward and hadn’t been looked after for 3 hours, the last of which I was continually promised someone would be in “in a minute”).

Look at how close you are to the hospital. What ambulance provision is like. Then make the decision that works for you, and also know that if you opt for a home birth you can change your mind nearer the time. Whereas it may not be as easy to switch to planning a homebirth later.

Also be aware some areas will tell you they “don’t do homebirths” which is nonsense.

SpartacusAutisticusAHF · 04/02/2019 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BunnyTeapot · 04/02/2019 16:17

Ok but with forceps you normally cut so you dont tear. I just asked because i didnt use forceps and had a 3c degree tear.

Have you looked into hypnobirthing? Id really recommend it whether home or hospital. I didn't want a home birth so used it in hospital. I laboured too quick to get the birth I wanted so couldn't have a water birth but hypnobirthing really helped me in the run up, during labour and also during surgery afterwards.

Poloshot · 04/02/2019 16:17

I personally wouldn't take any chances. The main thing is that the baby arrives safely and the best way of ensuring that is in a hospital.

Original poster
User383673 · 04/02/2019 16:17

Janek and burritofan that’s very encouraging, thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
User383673 · 04/02/2019 16:19

Have you looked into hypnobirthing? yes, definitely think this is something I want to try!

OP posts:
ExFury · 04/02/2019 16:19

What I've always wondered about home births is, if you've got two midwives, how does that impact on other people? We're not exactly over-run with midwives.

The midwives who cover home births aren’t hospital ones anyway. So it doesn’t impact anyone who opts for hospital birth.

You also only have one for the bulk of the time, the second is only required for the actual birth.

PerfectPeony · 04/02/2019 16:20

Does your hospital have a midwife led unit as well as a labour ward? My labour was long, back to back. The unit is very homely, not medical and you could bring your own pillows/ blankets etc. but have peace of mind that an epidural is next door. That’s what I did, and when I begged for one they transferred me in minutes!

clairestandish · 04/02/2019 16:20

@GailtheFish surely it’s only ‘not recommended’ that your husband didn’t drive his car, I can’t see how a separate individual can ‘not allow’ somebody to drive their own car somewhere

ExFury · 04/02/2019 16:20

the best way of ensuring that is in a hospital.

That’s a blunt, and not always accurate, statement. It completely depends on your hospital options for a start.

JasperKarat · 04/02/2019 16:21

My baby was back to back and got stuck after a long painful labour meaning I got rushed into they're for an emergency ventouse and episiotomy. I'm glad I was in a hospital. FWIW I was told by my midwife and the surgeon that they much prefer to use ventouse and forceps are an absolute last resort these days. I had a very minor tear that occurred before I was taken down to theatre, caused by baby.

PerfectPeony · 04/02/2019 16:21

Also just to add. Did you do NCT? They are very pro natural, relaxed home birth type stuff but it doesn’t always work out that way and I don’t know many people who would have felt comfortable at home for their first birth.

Original poster
User383673 · 04/02/2019 16:22

Sorry for not replying to everyone individually, I really appreciate everyone’s input!

OP posts:
Deadbudgie · 04/02/2019 16:22

In all honesty, I’ve known too many people who had awful births, in our Nct group of 7 this inc 2crash c sections where the babies were out in 5 min from the buzzer being pressed (and the change was sudden) which saved both mums and babies.

What about midwife led unit attached to a hospital

Sleepthiefsmum18 · 04/02/2019 16:22

I’d say book a homebirth and decide how you feel on the day! If you don’t book, you can’t have one. If you don’t feel like it when you go into labour, head to hospital. Also you could start off at home, do early labour, get checked over and when you are more established head in.

I booked a homebirth for my second but had to go in because my waters broke and labour didn’t happen quickly enough so I needed antibiotics. I had great care at home and I’d definitely book it again —not that we are having a third!—

Eviecat · 04/02/2019 16:24

I had my first in hospital but second at home.
It didn’t cross my mind to have my first baby at home, but it was suggested by midwives for my second as I had such a quick, ‘easy’ labour,
There’s no way of knowing how your labour and delivery will be, until the time comes, but with good research and support around you, I can imagine it makes it a whole lot easier. Personally i would say go for it. Good luck x