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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this personal question?.....

345 replies

pppers · 03/02/2019 20:52

To ask how many people you've slept with?

I had DS young and have only slept with 1 other person other than DP.
A friend made a light hearted comment about do I not feel like I've missed out, and I feel bad to say it resonated with me.

AIBU to feel sad that 2 might be my lifetime number??

OP posts:
RoboticSealpup · 04/02/2019 10:06
  1. I don't feel like I've missed out.
JustPoppingOut · 04/02/2019 11:15

I've just counted 16! Seven of them were when I was eighteen. A year later I became a serial monogamist but did manage to squeeze in a fling with each of three subsequent relationships.

When I met my DH though that was it and I've been faithful for the last 24 years Smile

Mishappening · 04/02/2019 11:18

If you are with the right man you have not "missed out." I have only ever had sex with my OH. I do not feel deprived in any way.

JustPoppingOut · 04/02/2019 11:22

I used to think of it as kind of an enhanced way of meeting people.

I like this attitude and it reminds me of my (now very settled) sister. She used to say that if you were getting on really well with someone, sex just seemed the appropriate way to end the evening.

I always thought that sounded great!

OdeToDiazepam · 04/02/2019 11:28

7

MadMadMad · 04/02/2019 11:29

My husband is the only person I have slept with

ScreamingValenta · 04/02/2019 11:30

YABU

Theonewiththecat · 04/02/2019 11:33

Just my DH. I was 16 he was 19.
I'd had boyfriends but nothing more than snogging behind the swimming pool.
DH had never had a girlfriend, so I was his first everything.
We've been together 11 years, and I don't think I've missed out on anything.

Livpool · 04/02/2019 11:52

6 - which I think is quite low really

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 04/02/2019 12:02

14

AmIOTTconcerned · 04/02/2019 12:16

9 including DP. This was between the ages of 16 and 19. I don't know if it's because of the young age and therefore inexperienced teenage sex but if I could go back I would never have bothered. None were anything to rave about.

So I don't personally think you've missed out.

Wallywobbles · 04/02/2019 12:29

8 in the last 28 years.

thecatsthecats · 04/02/2019 12:33

There's no sex I regret having. Isn't that enough?

sunshineandshowers21 · 04/02/2019 12:36

one. me and my partner have been together since we were fourteen and so have only ever slept with each other.

MsAwesomeDragon · 04/02/2019 12:36

Maybe 20? I had a reasonable amount of fun while I was young and single. Not many ons but quite a few short flings.

Met DH when I was 26, and I don't expect to add any more to my number.

HeyNannyNanny · 04/02/2019 12:39

6 of which were all within 1 year - very very unlike me, and I'm not proud. I had a nervous breakdown and over the months recovering sought an easy fix in a variety of men.

If those 9, I admit to 4 of them as whilst 1 was was the reason for the breakdown, all were legitimate partners I'd made the decision with whilst in my right mind.

PregnantSea · 04/02/2019 12:42

My DH and I were both wild before we met - we worked out that we'd probably both slept with somewhere around 100 people each. Ballpark figure as neither of us particularly counted.

So for us, we knew we'd had our fun and got it all out of our system, and by the time we met we were both ready to settle down and give ourselves to each other completely. But everyone is different OP and that's ok.

There are plenty of people out there who are still virgins when they get married. Not as common in the UK but in America there's a surprisingly large number of these people. I don't believe anyone who tells me that all of these people have missed out and are secretly unhappy with their sex lives. I know people like this and they seem to be very dedicated to each other.

Sex with someone you don't love is just sex. It's not special or interesting. I suppose it's fun but that's about it. Sex with someone you love is out of this world.

You didn't miss much OP. Except maybe some walks of shame and trips to the STD clinic? Lol..

Stormwhale · 04/02/2019 12:43

Before the age of 18, around 30. Since then (10 years) just the one (Dh) and that's the way it's going to stay. I have no desire to ever be with another man.

NannyRed · 04/02/2019 12:45

I stopped counting a long while before I met my now dh. I estimate around 100.

Member984815 · 04/02/2019 12:52

Just the 1 met my husband at 17 and no regrets either .

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 04/02/2019 12:55

JustPoppingOut She used to say that if you were getting on really well with someone, sex just seemed the appropriate way to end the evening

I just love this outlook! I would definitely get along with you and your sister! Smile

Cwtches123 · 04/02/2019 13:02

Only 2 - Exdh and dh.I don't feel that I have missed out.

madcatladyforever · 04/02/2019 13:06

At least 10 and I regret all of them. Don't think you are missing out you're not.

Clairaloulou · 04/02/2019 13:09

About 50, and I regret nearly all of them. Vast majority happened between 16 and 25, I was quite vulnerable and desperate to find someone to love me. Stopped when I had my son at 25, as there was no way I would inflict any of that on him. Still feel the same inside though. Wish with all my heart that I was one of those lucky people who met their husbands fairly young and got married and have been together a long time. That have someone to share their lives with. But I've given up on that!

Flairhead · 04/02/2019 13:12

Three. One was my STBXH, the other two are friends. Not really FWB, just something that's happened with each of them after a few drinks.....

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