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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this personal question?.....

345 replies

pppers · 03/02/2019 20:52

To ask how many people you've slept with?

I had DS young and have only slept with 1 other person other than DP.
A friend made a light hearted comment about do I not feel like I've missed out, and I feel bad to say it resonated with me.

AIBU to feel sad that 2 might be my lifetime number??

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 04/02/2019 00:08

I am quite heartened by how many "1's" there are...that is refreshing in this day and age. My parents were married for 40 years before my Mum died. Dad was her only. It wasn't the same for him to be fair, but I was never sure whether I admired or pitied my Mum. I think experiences are good largely, regardless of whether they were positive or not but as I mentioned in my earlier post, I really do envy those who found their "one" and have stayed that way, I think that's lovely

Fabaunt · 04/02/2019 00:12

3, I’m 30

RomanticFatigue · 04/02/2019 00:18

I counted when I got divorced. It was 32. 33 now with my new DP.
Great sex though is a different question. 2. Potentially 3... things are getting steamy with DP after a slow start... I feel like a teenager again and am getting to explore what I like. He's actually interested in that, unlike the majority of the others I've slept with. As someone up thread said, it's quality not quantity.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 04/02/2019 00:18

2 for me. The media shoves sex down our throats constantly so people probably tend to think everyone is having more than them, but this thread shows that there is a huge variety and everything is normal. I wish we weren't so obsessed by it!

PippilottaLongstocking · 04/02/2019 00:20

2, both long-term relationships and have a child from each

Notgotajarofglue · 04/02/2019 00:20

13 and I met my husband when I was 17. I wish it was more

MashedSpud · 04/02/2019 00:31
DustyMaiden · 04/02/2019 00:34

1

TooLittleTooLate80 · 04/02/2019 00:35

18
pretty much an equal split between long term/mid term/short term aquaintences.

PRoseLegend · 04/02/2019 00:42

1, my husband.
Why would you feel sad that you haven't slept with more?
Sex to me is the culmination of love, commitment, and friendship. It's about sharing and having fun and getting to know someone in the most intimate way possible... Put it this way, I feel about sex the way most people feel about their bank details and passwords. I wouldn't share those with people I've just met, only people I implicitly trust who have my best interest at heart and I theirs. So far, only 1 person has met this criteria.

WyfOfBathe · 04/02/2019 00:42
  1. DH and a previous long term boyfriend.

When engaged to DH, there was a time when I wished I'd waited so that he could have been my "first and only". I don't regret it any more and don't feel like I'm missing out.

PietariKontio · 04/02/2019 00:45

10, 50:50 relationships/one night (or two night) stands.
Only regret 2, but more for the whole relationship than the sex, if that makes sense.
By a country mile, and for many reasons, sex with my wife has been the best, and I couldn't have any regrets if she'd been the one.

Keepthebloodynoisedown · 04/02/2019 00:48

Around 15, men and women. I met dp at 19. Glad I had some fun before settling down. he was a virgin when we met and doesn’t feel like he missed out, but I did worry that he would feel like he did at first.

OldGreyBoots · 04/02/2019 01:02
  1. I'm 21 and have been with DP for almost a year and a half.
RomanyRoots · 04/02/2019 01:12

I have no idea, but it was a lot of fun.
Have been completely faithful for 30 years though, although both have lots of fun still.
He was really shy with women and ha two teen relationships before me.
He couldn't give a stuff about the past, and when we first had sex the sky lit with an amazing thunder and lightning storm.

tolerable · 04/02/2019 01:15

does it matter how many people??or how many times??...i prefer them awake

ClosdesMouches · 04/02/2019 01:17

OP not bothered to come back?
Hmm

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 04/02/2019 01:18

tolerable i prefer them awake

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Grin

Howdyhihi · 04/02/2019 01:23

4 and that's probably my lifetime number.

I'm happy without the drama Grin

Lobsterquadrille2 · 04/02/2019 01:27

About 60. I'm 49.

LiquoricePickle · 04/02/2019 01:42

One

Kerantli · 04/02/2019 01:48

4

I don't feel like I've missed out, number 1 is probably the one I regret the least out of 1-3, and 4 is fiance

talllikejerryhall · 04/02/2019 01:59

I think around 20 but never really counted, and certainly double-dipped with old lovers to keep numbers down and because I knew some could be counted upon. Having had a few one night stands I can honestly say only one was worth my time and effort - but it was extremely fun.

Sex with a lover who knows you, who you feel comfortable with, who you fancy, who fancies you, is basically the gold standard. If you've got that, you're laughing, numbers be damned.

Pfnb · 04/02/2019 02:47

This reply has been deleted

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Mountainsoutofmolehills · 04/02/2019 09:45

I fell asleep trying to remember. I wish the number was higher.

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