Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go on holiday somewhere were you can't drink?

111 replies

sockz · 03/02/2019 12:53

So our DS is 21 this year, and as his special birthday treat we were going to pay for him and his partner to go to LA or NYC for a week. The thing is, the only time he can do due to university commitments is when his partner will still be 20. And so the partner won't be able to drink. We'd be paying for him too. (The drinking age in the US is 21+)

Aibu about this, as they won't be able to go to bars, or go out. Nor can they drink wine over dinner which they do as are quite mature. They spend a fair amount of their chill time in bars with just a glass of wine. OR perhaps in their flat too..
With brexit, we don't really want to risk booking anything in Europe, and everything in March is cold in Europe, so may as well go somewhere with museums and culture/ new experience.

OP posts:
ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 03/02/2019 12:54

What do they want to do?

littlepeas · 03/02/2019 12:54

I would now, but wouldn’t have when I was 20!

WorraLiberty · 03/02/2019 12:55

You're asking the wrong people.

Just ask his GF what she thinks

Sirzy · 03/02/2019 12:56

I would ask them and include the offer to book it for them next year when they are both over 21. If they are mature I am sure they will be happy to wait a while longer for a holiday they can both enjoy how they want

mimibunz · 03/02/2019 12:59

I wouldn’t, and the Americans will ask for id. Then again they love a British accent so are inclined to be friendlier to Brits!

Buster72 · 03/02/2019 13:00

Worraliberty I dont think the girlfriend will be invited....

Try Canada or Mexico or buy him one of those fake ids they always have in the films

SinceYouAskMe · 03/02/2019 13:00

There’s a difference between what you do for fun at home and what you do for fun on holiday. I spend a fair amount of time at home watching TV, but wouldn’t do that much on holiday.

Strange reasoning about the weather. Rome or Barcelona have museums and culture but are much warmer than New York. When in March would you be booking? If they’re coming back before the 31st then surely a last trip to Europe would be ideal.

ZoeWashburne · 03/02/2019 13:00

If they want somewhere warm, why not the Caribbean or Mexico? Drinking age is 18 there. But there is plenty, PLENTY, to do in NYC or LA without drinking (fabulous museums, theatre, restaurants, parks etc).

Original poster
sockz · 03/02/2019 13:01

They've been to Rome and Barcelona together. Is there much to do in Toronto? Mexico looks more a beach holiday, think they'd get a bit bored on the beach.

They are going to Italy in the summer for the warmth

OP posts:
Justmeagain123 · 03/02/2019 13:02

Americans will not serve you alcohol because they like your accent, they're extremely strict on the matter. I guess it's a question for the partner not Mumsnet? Wouldn't have bothered me at all at that age, it would now!

Original poster
sockz · 03/02/2019 13:02

(We liked the look of NYC or LA as there are cheap flights for £270 economy at the moment)

OP posts:
VWpurse · 03/02/2019 13:02

Are they not even allowed in places with a bar? If not, that would be quite restrictive imo.

I’m not a big drinker so it wouldn’t bother me personally. Have orange juice!

maras2 · 03/02/2019 13:04

Grin worra Not GF.

OnceUponAThread · 03/02/2019 13:04

I wouldn't if I was you. I had a similar trip to the US (different area though) at that age and they wouldn't even let me sit in a bar with a non-alcoholic drink. Soooo restricting.

Dontcarewhatimdoing · 03/02/2019 13:05

If drinking is something they enjoy, then I wouldn't book that trip for them. There must be other options where both of them could drink.

Bestseller · 03/02/2019 13:05

TBH my boyfriend's mother taking this much interest in the detail of how we will spend our time on holiday would bother me far more than not being able to have a drink. Ask them. Let them organise it, it's a nice thing to do but give it freely, not as a means of retaining control over your son.

TheArtfulScreamer · 03/02/2019 13:06

Toronto is a fab city to visit loads going on and only a short trip to Niagra Falls. I much prefered Toronto to New York if I'm honest.

juneau · 03/02/2019 13:07

At 20, not I wouldn't have wanted to go somewhere I couldn't drink, or even go in a bar. Now, in my 40s, I wouldn't care.

Mexico is waaaay more than beaches. Ever heard of the Maya? Tulum? Chichen Itza? If not, Google them.

BikeRunSki · 03/02/2019 13:08

Ask them

SusanneLinder · 03/02/2019 13:10

Well it wouldn't bother me personally, but ask his partner what he thinks. If this bothers him, then look somewhere else or wait till the partner is 21. We planned for DD to go to New York, for her 21st, but will obviously wait till she is 21. It's not that she is a huge drinker, but she likes wine with her meal.

MashaBear1 · 03/02/2019 13:10

What do they want to do? Surely it's up to them. You seem very invested in their holiday/life TBH

CripsSandwiches · 03/02/2019 13:11

I think this really is dependent on the person. I'd be fine not drinking and the location would be 100x more important. But I'm not a big drinker - for me holidays are about location and food. For other people having a few drinks is a big part of a holiday.

It also depends how much they love those destinations of its a holiday of a lifetime they might be fine with not drinking if its just one of many places they want to go it might be more of a bummer.

WorraLiberty · 03/02/2019 13:11

Oh right I missed that Grin

Ask his BF then?

There are plenty of places they can go that don't involve alcohol. Perhaps they could do that and then have a drink back at the hotel room/apartment?

ZoeWashburne · 03/02/2019 13:12

With Mexico, look beyond Cancun- Mexico City is a vibrant, cool city with amazing museums and restaurants. There are amazing Aztec Pyramds at Teotihuacan just north of there. Oaxaca and Guadalajara are great too.

I love Mexico City (but I also love NYC too- LA is ok, but there are great places around California they could visit (Santa Barbara, Yosemite etc too).

Isitmybathtimeyet · 03/02/2019 13:12

The OP isn't doing that at all! She wants to make sure she books a trip that they will both enjoy. That's thoughtful not controlling.

Toronto is fabulous, as are Montreal and Vancouver. I would add that Brexit travel disruption could apply to all destinations if flights are messed up, so don't assume long haul will go unscathed! Ditto on chillier weather.