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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you go on holiday somewhere were you can't drink?

111 replies

sockz · 03/02/2019 12:53

So our DS is 21 this year, and as his special birthday treat we were going to pay for him and his partner to go to LA or NYC for a week. The thing is, the only time he can do due to university commitments is when his partner will still be 20. And so the partner won't be able to drink. We'd be paying for him too. (The drinking age in the US is 21+)

Aibu about this, as they won't be able to go to bars, or go out. Nor can they drink wine over dinner which they do as are quite mature. They spend a fair amount of their chill time in bars with just a glass of wine. OR perhaps in their flat too..
With brexit, we don't really want to risk booking anything in Europe, and everything in March is cold in Europe, so may as well go somewhere with museums and culture/ new experience.

OP posts:

PavlovianLunge · 05/02/2019 19:15

I got ID’ed buying wine in Washington DC last year. I was 55.

BlueJava · 05/02/2019 19:20

Why don't you ask them? I assume you've told your DS as you know his commitments, why not just ask.. It could be she rarely drinks anyway and isn't bothered, or maybe feels she can't have a good time without a couple of glasses. Personally I don't drink at all so wouldn't bother me.

KillJester · 05/02/2019 19:23

I went to New York when I was 20 so couldn’t drink. I had an amazing time. There’s so much to see and do you don’t miss the booze.

“Nor can they drink wine over dinner which they do as are quite mature”

LOL! Plenty of 20 year olds have wine with dinner, I don’t know if it’s a sign of maturity!

museumum · 05/02/2019 19:26

I was in the US at 20 and bloody hated not being able to go into bars at all. I’d have not minded not drinking but places with door staff did my head in.

anniehm · 05/02/2019 19:28

They are super strict on Id there so if they want to drink it's not the destination for them (I got id'd at 44!)

limitedperiodonly · 05/02/2019 19:49

AIBU pickiness strikes again.

I spotted that OP's son's partner is male - but does it really matter?

I don't think OP is controlling. I think she wants them to have a nice time, and maybe she and they don't realise how strict the US is on drinking ages and so she thought she'd ask people who did know.

I didn't realise when I first went at 29. Luckily it was my first night and I was in the hotel bar so they could look up my registration which had my passport details, but they wouldn't serve me without it. I thought they were joking but they were very stern.

And lastly, I'm glad sockz has asked on here rather than just asking her son's partner, because it's given me ideas of where to go like Vancouver, Montreal, Berlin and Copenhagen, that I've never thought of but sound good even to someone who sadly hasn't been asked for ID for years except for one bloke in the supermarket who likes to cheer me up.

limitedperiodonly · 05/02/2019 20:07

There’s so much to see and do you don’t miss the booze.

I'd miss it bitterly now but I also would at 20. I have never drunk alcohol while sightseeing - that might make it hard to focus on the paintings or avoid stumbling into national monuments - but I like to drink wine over lunch or dinner or spirits in clubs when the sightseeing is done.

For me, that is an essential part of being on holiday as an adult, which for the UK and many European countries and other parts of the world which are not the US, is when you are 18.

Someone who got married in the July in the same year that I married in the September was keen to tell me all her wifely wisdom. One of her tips was: 'You won't drink at all on your wedding day because you'll be so busy talking to your guests.'

I don't know about her, but I can talk and hold a drink at the same time. I can also sip from it, ask for another, carry on talking and walk without falling over.

CoughLaughFart · 05/02/2019 20:14

AIBU pickiness strikes again. I spotted that OP's son's partner is male - but does it really matter?

I’m guessing it might to the OP’s son and his boyfriend.

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 05/02/2019 20:19

They are super strict on Id there so if they want to drink it's not the destination for them (I got id'd at 44!)

VERY strict, because the penalties for their serving to minors are.

WineAndTiramisu · 05/02/2019 20:28

I also got served in the US no problem when I was 20 due to the confusion about DD/mm or mm/DD (even though mine didn't make sense,I still got away with it!)

Hushnownobodycares · 05/02/2019 20:33

I wouldn't go somewhere I couldn't drink but in your situation there are two options. Either suggest holding off until partner is 21 or see if there is somehere else they'd like to go where they can both drink. Ask them. No-one here can tell you what they might like

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