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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go on holiday somewhere were you can't drink?

111 replies

sockz · 03/02/2019 12:53

So our DS is 21 this year, and as his special birthday treat we were going to pay for him and his partner to go to LA or NYC for a week. The thing is, the only time he can do due to university commitments is when his partner will still be 20. And so the partner won't be able to drink. We'd be paying for him too. (The drinking age in the US is 21+)

Aibu about this, as they won't be able to go to bars, or go out. Nor can they drink wine over dinner which they do as are quite mature. They spend a fair amount of their chill time in bars with just a glass of wine. OR perhaps in their flat too..
With brexit, we don't really want to risk booking anything in Europe, and everything in March is cold in Europe, so may as well go somewhere with museums and culture/ new experience.

OP posts:
Squirrelblanket · 03/02/2019 13:12

I wouldn't. Holidays are not about getting hammered to me, but equally I enjoy a glass of wine with dinner, a cold beer on a hot day etc so that would be annoying.

Original poster
sockz · 03/02/2019 13:12

I don't think I am too invested, I'm the one working to pay for this and so want them to enjoy it ...

OP posts:
MsJaneAusten · 03/02/2019 13:13

Canary Islands are warm at that time of year.

Or Mexico if you fancy long haul?

CemetaryGates · 03/02/2019 13:13

@Bestseller

You think that it's controlling that OP wants to book a holiday for her DS and his boyfriend as a 21st birthday gift?

Squirrelblanket · 03/02/2019 13:14

The other thing, which another poster has touched on, she might not even be allowed in certain bars and restaurants if she's under 21, even if she's not drinking.

fruitpastille · 03/02/2019 13:15

When is her birthday? I got away with it on my student ID because they do the day/month the opposite way around. It looked like my DOB was 10th march not 3rd October. (Not my actual dob but you see what I mean!) So it looked as though I'd already turned 21 when I went in the summer.

LaurieMarlow · 03/02/2019 13:16

I would have been fine not drinking aged 20. I'd hate it now. Blush

This is a pointless AIBU. Ask them.

NYC is a brilliant holiday destination, but lots of other great places if they'd prefer to drink.

freezinguplands · 03/02/2019 13:16

zoe has said everything I wanted to about Mexico. It is so much more than all inclusives at Cancun.

The US is pretty strict, I went out in DC without my ID and couldn't have a drink all night, I'm in my 40's. It does vary though, the Midwest is a bit more relaxed.

DuggeeHugs · 03/02/2019 13:17

I may be missing the point a bit, but New York can be really cold in March

Bestseller · 03/02/2019 13:17

Without involving them in the planning of it, I do, yes Cemetary. Surprises are almost always more about the giver than the receiver Imo

LaurieMarlow · 03/02/2019 13:18

I loved Toronto. It's like a sanitised version of NY.

VampirateQueen · 03/02/2019 13:20

I would ask the BF what he thinks.

trooth · 03/02/2019 13:20

My brother has just come back from living in Toronto for 2 years. He loved it. Modern, clean, so much to do, easy to get around, close to amazing countryside, Niagara. He would definitely recommend. Only reason they came home is because he and his wife will be thinking about having children soon and want to be close to the family.

Theimpossiblegirl · 03/02/2019 13:20

I agree it would be very restrictive if they like bars and restaurants but one can't drink.
Either book it for another time or look at another destination.

Original poster
sockz · 03/02/2019 13:21

Flights to Mexico City seem to be around £450. Too steep really, plus they want somewhere LGBT friendly...

OP posts:
ZoeWashburne · 03/02/2019 13:21

There is very, very likely going to be at least half a metre of snow on the ground in Toronto in March.

Racecardriver · 03/02/2019 13:21

I wouldn’t care but I don’t drink much anyway. It really depends on what they are like. Does getting drunk matter to them? If not then it shouldn’t be a problem.

CanYouHearThePeopleSing · 03/02/2019 13:22

If you are looking at Canadian alternatives, Montreal is fab! (much preferred it over Toronto, and about the same as Vancouver). Loads to do, really scenic, multicultural and vibrant. We loved it! (was expensive to eat/drink though).

SaucyJack · 03/02/2019 13:22

It would bother me now, and would have when I was younger too.

What’s the hotel budget? If you get something apartment-y or with a nice balcony, surely your son can at least pick up a bottle on the way home to relax with at night?

JagerPlease · 03/02/2019 13:22

In a lot of places it isn't even about not being able to drink, it's not even being allowed in the bars. I would definitely look elsewhere or book for once they're both over 21

TinselAndKnickers · 03/02/2019 13:23

You seem very invested in their holiday/life TBH

Well yes as she's paying for it?!

What a lovely thing to do OP - but I agree with the others... just ask Grin

Isitmybathtimeyet · 03/02/2019 13:23

It really isn't about getting drunk. It's about having a glass of wine with dinner by the sound of it, and potentially not even being able to enter a club or bar.

ZoeWashburne · 03/02/2019 13:24

Cape Town is also great if they want to do long-haul. It would be warm in March and is pretty LGTB friendly. Plus wine country, penguins, beaches and great restaurants.

CoughLaughFart · 03/02/2019 13:26

What do they want to do? Surely it's up to them. You seem very invested in their holiday/life TBH

The OP is quite literally ‘invested’ in the holiday as she is the one paying for it! What’s wrong with wanting to choose a holiday she thinks they’ll enjoy?

OP - is this meant as a surprise (hence you can’t ask outright)? If so, could you compromise and ask your son’s partner, but still keep it a surprise for your son?

If one or both of them desperately wants to go to New York or LA, that will be more important than being able to drink. If, on the other hand, they don’t have a particular attachment to the destination and would just enjoy a free holiday, maybe look elsewhere. If they like sightseeing holidays, maybe somewhere like Lisbon would be an interesting choice? Plenty to do and see, it far from the coast if they want to go, and should be mild temperatures in March.

Wakemeuuuup · 03/02/2019 13:26

We loved Vancouver a few years ago as a family but there is so much for 20/21 year olds to do I'd say.

Much better to go somewhere that they can have a drink if they want but plenty to do that doesn't include alcohol