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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you go on holiday somewhere were you can't drink?

111 replies

sockz · 03/02/2019 12:53

So our DS is 21 this year, and as his special birthday treat we were going to pay for him and his partner to go to LA or NYC for a week. The thing is, the only time he can do due to university commitments is when his partner will still be 20. And so the partner won't be able to drink. We'd be paying for him too. (The drinking age in the US is 21+)

Aibu about this, as they won't be able to go to bars, or go out. Nor can they drink wine over dinner which they do as are quite mature. They spend a fair amount of their chill time in bars with just a glass of wine. OR perhaps in their flat too..
With brexit, we don't really want to risk booking anything in Europe, and everything in March is cold in Europe, so may as well go somewhere with museums and culture/ new experience.

OP posts:

BikeRunSki · 03/02/2019 13:59

I was id’ed in California when I was 32. They take alcohol a lot more seriously than in the UK.

Satsumaeater · 03/02/2019 14:15

Another vote for Berlin. Or Copenhagen.

TulipsInbloom1 · 03/02/2019 14:16

I would just say "id like to book a holiday for you two, budget is X, why don't you both have a look around for a holiday?"

WorraLiberty · 03/02/2019 14:17

Another vote for speak to the friggin boyfriend!

Why not ask him if he'll help you plan it? Ask his ideas and opinions etc?

Montsti · 03/02/2019 14:30

Like someone above mentioned, Cape Town would fit the bill. Lots to do, good weather in March, winelands, beach and very lgbt friendly...11 hour direct flight and only 1/2 hour time difference depending on the time of year...

saltinesandcoffeecups · 03/02/2019 15:04

American here...I think it’s hard to understand how restrictive being under 21 is in the states unless you experience it.

Yes there are a lot of things to do without drinking, however, there are also a lot of places that will totally be off limits. Night life generally involve clubs, bars, and restaurants. The under 21 will not be allowed to enter the bars and clubs, and restaurants could have some time restrictions depending on the establishment.

I think the evenings would be when they felt the restrictions the most.

To put it in perspective, my family would travel to places with lower drinking ages when I was under 21 just so we wouldn’t have the restrictions of where we went and the things we did.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 03/02/2019 15:08

I would but that's because I can take or leave alcohol really

However, for an event , such as your one, I would like to be able too.

Rezie · 03/02/2019 15:14

If I'm getting a free trip to NYC I really wouldn't care about not being able to drink.

x2boys · 03/02/2019 15:16

Is it not possible to wait until your sons boyfriend is also 21 ? I remember going to Boston when I was about 24 I had to carry my passport everywhere to prove I was over 21 .

Weedsnseeds1 · 03/02/2019 15:35

Drinking age is 18 in New Orleans

Weedsnseeds1 · 03/02/2019 15:36

And it's LGBT friendly

saltinesandcoffeecups · 03/02/2019 17:18

No, New Orleans drinking age is not 18. It is allowed at 18 if the under 21 is accompanied by an over 21 spouse or their parent or guardian.

The legal drinking age is 21 in all states, but some do have provisions for spouse and/or parent and guardian.

Hobbesmanc · 04/02/2019 10:43

I'd deffo endorse the idea of Cape Town- great climate, easy flight and very gay friendly. Loads of amazing places to eat and cheap.

Tel Aviv might be another option. It should be warming up and its become a top gay destination- and hosting Eurovision this year has only added to its popularity. Easy jet are doing cheap flights there too!

Marrakesh is less overtly gay friendly- although there are bars etc - but its a really laid back place with some stunning accommodation and great shops.

jay55 · 04/02/2019 11:04

Why not give them vouchers and let them decide where to go?

BarbaraofSevillle · 04/02/2019 11:21

It is allowed at 18 if the under 21 is accompanied by an over 21 spouse or their parent or guardian

So does that mean that they would both be able to drink alcohol in New Orleans or would they actually have to be married?

I wouldn't go somewhere I can't drink because I'd want a glass of wine in a restaurant or go for a beer or two. Not bothered about getting hammered, but I don't like soft drinks, so it would be dull just drinking water on holiday if I wasn't allowed alcohol.

Malaga wouldn't be too cold in March and plenty of museums, bars etc, plus also options to go to Granada, Seville etc. I

Worrynot1 · 04/02/2019 11:31

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 04/02/2019 11:34

mexico is amazing.

A world free from drinking. Why go to NYC to get drunk? At 21 its an expenisve place to go to get drunk.

Wouldnt risk Europe because of Brexit.?

PBo83 · 04/02/2019 11:53

"Everyone assuming the sons partner is a girl!"

And what does it matter if they did? I'm sure the OP won't take offence by people 'assuming' his partner is a girl if they are offering advice.

Let's not all jump around trying to get offended on other people's behalves eh?

saltinesandcoffeecups · 04/02/2019 18:44

@barbaraofseville

If the two were married the partner would be allowed to drink if he was with his spouse who was over 21. They have to be legally married and have proof.

If the partner was with his parents he’d be allowed to drink.

If the partner was with his unmarried partner he would not be allowed to drink.

m00rfarm · 04/02/2019 18:48

Seville. They will LOVE Seville. And so much to do - lots of sightseeing, fabulous bars, great nightlife ...

bluetheskyis · 04/02/2019 18:55

Fake id! I had one, they’re not that bothered as long and they see something quite frankly. It also varies state by state - NYC & LA both fairly relaxed and tons of bars where they won’t get bothered. Walmart will ID you if you look under 90, dive bars don’t care. Also the option of your DS purchasing legally and having a drink in a hotel, discreetly on a beach etc. I was ‘underage’ for 2 years in the US and wasn’t refused service anywhere...

Dogdogcat · 04/02/2019 18:58

Montreal/Quebec City! Loads to do and a cultural experience they would have in Toronto or a city in the US. The weather is usually pretty good that time of year. Drinking age is 18, so there would be no problems there.

SushiMonster · 04/02/2019 18:59

They won’t even be able to go into bars in NYC, so no

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 04/02/2019 19:17

Definitely wouldn't go to the US with a couple with one who's only 20.

CoughLaughFart · 05/02/2019 19:03

And what does it matter if they did? I'm sure the OP won't take offence by people 'assuming' his partner is a girl if they are offering advice.

No, but it doesn’t take much to read a pronoun.

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