To think this isn’t normal 2 year old behaviour?

[Purplepricklesalloverhisback]

DS was 2 in October. Since then he has hit terrible twos big time.

• he will only wear one pair of wellies. I had to source them in the next size up. If I wrestle any other shoes on to him he screams and pulls them off instantly.

-he hates being dressed. It’s tantrums, screams, tears, snot every morning. He always wants to rewear his pj top that he slept in. -he hates the bath. Screams the whole time, won’t sit in the water. No issues with it before turning 2 and he loves his swimming lesson!

• he has become very clingy with me. I have to be in the same room all the time and if I leave him anywhere he screams until I am back.

I’m 33 weeks pregnant and it’s killing me. I just want to cry all the time.

DH signed him up for a toddler football trial session this morning. It took two of us to wrestle him into some clothes and as soon as we got the trainers on him (he can’t do football in wellies) he pulled them off and threw them at us.

DS has gone out screaming and sobbing and I’m crying because I’m exhausted and I know DH will be back home with him soon because he has refused to put the shoes on when he gets there and so he can’t join in.

I’m at my wits end! Please someone tell me this is a phase and he will snap out of it. It’s been going on since October with no improvements!

I’m 33 weeks pregnant and it’s killing me

This may be exaggerating the terrible 2's phase. He may sense the uncertainty that a new baby brings and feel confused/angry/worried about the changes that are coming.

It sounds utterly normal, my two year old is the same, she just likes what she likes! But if you're worried speak to the health visitor :)

for context I have a 5 year old with sen and a 2 year old without

It's very much within the normal behaviour for a 2 year old. Although I understand it must be frustrating there are definitely ways to reduce the amount of stress and screaming.

he will only wear one pair of wellies.- let him wear the wellies
he hates being dressed - Try letting him choose his clothes (if you don't already)
he hates the bath. - Do you have a shower?
It took two of us to wrestle him into some clothes and as soon as we got the trainers on him - Pick your battles. He doesn't need to go to football, I would leave clubs with uniform until he is older.

Just leave him in the wellies. If he is still doing this at 16, i would probably worry then, but at 2 and up until about 5 (in my experience) children are very sensory.
They dont like the feeling of something but they dont have the words to explain.

Its very hard, its a time of great change for him and you. Go easy on yourself x

My nearly 2 year old is so similar to this, and it's exhausting enough without being pregnant! We have two pairs of the same wellies as they're all he'll wear and I worry a pair will go missing at nursery; it's a battle every morning to get him out of his pyjama top and into something else - weekday mornings I usually manage by time we leave the house so long as it's got a vehicle on it and at the weekends we don't bother and just put a jumper over the top; he is very clingy if I'm around but does settle quick enough when I leave and we have just managed to lure him back into the bath with bath crayons though! Don't speak to me about bloody teeth brushing though... and that it's screaming tantrums every mealtime because he only wants to eat Petit Filous🤦🏻‍♀️🤯

she just likes what she likes!

This probably sums it up perfectly.

Sounds very typical 2yo to me.

It us very very wearing and I really feel for you but that definitely sounds within the bounds of normal two year old behaviour. At that age my ds wore his Spider-Man outfit day in, day out with me only getting it off him to wash it. He doesn't now. I think go with it where you can - def ask your HV for help - and def forget the football.

Exactly what @IceRebel said!!! There is no need to go to an activity at such a young age if it is stressing you all out. Also there’s A LOT of “wrestling” going on. Stop the wrestling and relax, he will soon grow out of it all. But you will cause more issues by arguing about everything with him

Sounds completely normal. Two years old are unreasonable tyrants.. Personally, I would abandon toddler football and pick your battles.

Two year olds are pains in the butt for us but not for them because we have things we need them to do but they're not important to the child, they've got no concept of why they need to get dressed, he's basically realised he has a choice and can refuse to do something.

Unless it is direly needed ie. Getting dressed, getting a bath, don't fight it!
Even with getting a bath I usually give a choice out of two eg which bubbles do you want - blue or green, which shampoo do you want - green or red

I also pick out two sets of clothes and she picks which ones of the two she wants to wear
Even with the tops, just get a clean pj top thats identical, mark it so you know which ones pjs and which one isnt and just swap them over in the morning

Forget the football until he is much older.
Otherwise all normal two year old behaviour. Try to anticipate problems and avoid, distract and ignore.

My dd hated getting dressed, I’d put her in her top for the next day at bedtime as pyjamas

Sounds normal to me plus you’re pregnant (don’t big up the big brother talk!)

Also why on earth are you sending him to toddler football. Dh can take him to the park for a kickabout.

Pick your battles. And also use some natural consequences to deal with his tantrums.

Eg when he outgrows his boots, he’ll learn they don’t fit after a time. “Oh dear, let’s pick some new ones”.

If he wants to wear the same clothes, fine. Maybe give him two choices and let him pick one. My dd was very much in charge of her wardrobe at that age.

Doesn’t like a bath? Maybe he’s tired at the end of the day and it’s not fun. Try morning bathsor just a flannel wash.

He might be teething (molars), he might be ill (it’s winter with shit loads of bugs).

Or he might just be 2!

Ah I loved that age. They’d floor you with their genuine anger at something so trivial.

One thing which helped was signing - so my dcs could use basic signs and communication was a million times easier.

At 2 it's normal. Just keep an eye on it if it continues past 3.

DD was like this. She’s 5 now, I’ve always said maintained her sensory issues are beyond ‘normal’ discomfort - bearing in mind I have ASD we are monitoring for now. I worked hard to work with DD, finding clothes that she will wear, such as seam free socks! She was scared of the bath for a while but it turned out she dreamt she went down the plug hole..so we started putting a washing basket in the bath and then her in the basket and she was okay!

It’s worth reading up on how to talk to him - have a look at ‘Sulky? Rowdy? Rude?’ just to try adapting your communication. We’ve had a really challenging couple of weeks with DD and after reading that book I was able to get to the bottom of why (bullying at school). It might just help.

Defo echo pp - don't spend energy on getting him to toddler football. Scale back the demands on him.

Put him to sleep in a t-shirt he can wear the next morning. Let him wear wellies 24/7.

If it makes you feel better, my autistic, learning disabled son would only wear wellies throughout a blazing hot summer when he was two and wouldn't take his thick winter coat off either.

He feet nearly rotted off and people kept asking me if I should take his coat off and didn't I have a pair of sandals he could wear? it was utterly hideous and I kept worrying he would die from heat exhaustion.

He's 9 now and will only wear one layer of clothing - he played in the snow this week in a long sleeved t-shirt with tracksuit bottoms. He's still alive .

Your dd sounds like a normal, self obsessed, stubborn two year old. Prioritise your needs - you need to make life as easy for yourself as possible.

It's like DD, she loves her slippers, would live in them if she could, but they're not allowed at nursery, so she wears them until we get in the door then they get swapped over whilst I explain why - can't wear slippers at nursery, need to wear your big girl shoes, look mummys got her big girl shoes on, lets get yours on
She usually has a whinge, processes what I've said and calms herself down to let me put them on

They call it the terrible two's for this very reason! Pick your battles and it will get easier

I remember having to buy the same shoes in three sizes because of the floods of tears when DS1 grew out of them. He grew out of it at about 3.5.

he will only wear one pair of wellies.- let him wear the wellies I have been doing this but preschool don't like wellies (they take them for outdoor play but then like them to have soft trainers for indoors). It also means ditching the football which I was hoping would allow me an hours respite while DH takes him out once a week.
he hates being dressed - Try letting him choose his clothes (if you don't already) I do this. Makes no difference, he wants the pj top back on. I assumed because it was warm so I started warming his clothes on the radiator first and it makes no difference.
he hates the bath. - Do you have a shower? yes he hates it more than a bath, can't stand the water running over him.
It took two of us to wrestle him into some clothes and as soon as we got the trainers on him - Pick your battles. He doesn't need to go to football, I would leave clubs with uniform until he is older.

He hates change and really struggles when things are new. He does tumble tots which he loves, but struggled when he moved to the older class and the order was different. Took him a few weeks but he tolerates it now. Swimming lessons he loves, as long as it is me in the water with him and not DH. Tried it with DH this week as soon I won't be able to swim and he screamed the whole lesson.

I don't think he really understands about the new baby yet. His language development is behind and he didn't start talking until October. He has also had to go to a different childminder since Christmas as his usual one is off ill so he has had a lot to deal with lately.

I know he is just frustrated and confused. I am just really struggling to get him to cooperate with much at all. If I let him just do what he wants then he would spend all day in his pj's snuggled in my bed watching cbeebies or playing on the iPad! These are obviously allowed for the first half hour of the day while I get myself up and dressed.

What a tough time for you expecially being so pregnant....theses stages do pass...but in the meantime...

I had 2 under 2 and this is what helped me....(after lots of trial and error)

Don't plan anything that will require you being on time if possible...
Don't force him into clothes/shoes, force will cause more problems.

Before anything else, stock up on slots of small toys and treats he will love, hide them at home, inexpensive things.
An hour or so before you have to go out, get his attention and explain BRIEFLY what you will be doing, and that you have a special treat if he puts his coat and shoes on quietly or lets you do it. Repeat 30 minutes before, same words, lay out coat and shoes.

10 mins before, show him toy and say once you are ready you can have this, let him try on his own or with minimal help...STAY CALM...don't give him toy under any circumstances until he does what he needs to and says please......ignore tantrums/remove distractions if possible/ie TV off/favourite toys tucked away so he doesn't get distracted.
Help but don't force, if he runs off calmly lead him back to hall and repeat/ show new toy/point to coat and shoes/ NEVER GIVE IN ( hence not having to be on time!)

It may take a bit of time the first time, but if he gets his fun reward, very quickly he will realise he wants to get it as quickly as possible next time!! and lots of praise too.

PJ are soft and comfortable, so make sure you buy lots of soft and comfortable similar tops, and make sure he likes them, if need be let him sleep in the one you want him in for the morning...pick your battles...he is 2 as long as he is warm it doesn't matter what he wears.
Also NEVER asd him what he wants to put on, l soon learnt this! choose 2 or 3 suitable things, lay them out away from all other clothes and say 'pick one, put it on, and then come and get your special reward' stand back, let him pick his favourite, help only if he needs you to, be positive (lets get this soft warm top on so l can give you your reward) Be clever with clothes make him feel he likes the texture of all his clothes as ,much as his PJs.
I would take him to football in his wellies with no fuss before going, take trainers, let him watch on the sidelines, saying all boys wear trainers for football, so they can kick the ball, here they are|(put them beside him) if you want to put them on and play let me know.......most boys will want to play....and soon would WANT to put on the trainers to play, it may take a few sessions but will work eventually.

Re the bath, assuming you have a shower give him the option of coming into the shower with you, mine loved showers and hated baths, mostly they came in the shower with me in the mornings, and it was painless and quick.

I often found l had to do the opposite to get mine to do what l needed them to ,but consistancy and pre planning is the best way to get results, and lots of tempting treats/toys! soon they realise it is much more fun to do the task and get the treat.....good luch op and congratulations on No 2 baby!

Toddler football is a mad idea, sorry. Esp for a child who wants to wear wellies all the time. Pick your battles is good advice.

Sounds similar to my 2 year old DD she is obsessed with her wellies, she tries to go to bed in them everynight and wanted to wear them in the bath the other day. My older two where very much like this as well. I'd say this is quite typical for a 2 year old as exhausting as it is

@raviolidreaming yes that sounds exactly like him!

He used to be a brilliant eater- now only wants certain foods but will change his mind in a heartbeat so by the time I've made something he doesn't want it anymore and is screaming for the next thing.

Tooth brushing we can sometimes win by pretending I am searching for the characters from The Gruffalo (which he is completely obsessed with) in his mouth.

Hair cuts are a huge battle, he has long thick hair that grows overnight so a necessity every 3/4 weeks. He screams from the minute we get there and I have to pin him down while the poor hairdressers goes as quickly as possible!

We've got the dentist in 2 weeks.... I'm dreading it already.

Once he is wearing his wellies and still in his pj top he can actually be a complete delight and we have very few tantrums in public. It's the getting him out bit that is difficult.