To think this isn’t normal 2 year old behaviour?

[Purplepricklesalloverhisback]

DS was 2 in October. Since then he has hit terrible twos big time.

• he will only wear one pair of wellies. I had to source them in the next size up. If I wrestle any other shoes on to him he screams and pulls them off instantly.

-he hates being dressed. It’s tantrums, screams, tears, snot every morning. He always wants to rewear his pj top that he slept in. -he hates the bath. Screams the whole time, won’t sit in the water. No issues with it before turning 2 and he loves his swimming lesson!

• he has become very clingy with me. I have to be in the same room all the time and if I leave him anywhere he screams until I am back.

I’m 33 weeks pregnant and it’s killing me. I just want to cry all the time.

DH signed him up for a toddler football trial session this morning. It took two of us to wrestle him into some clothes and as soon as we got the trainers on him (he can’t do football in wellies) he pulled them off and threw them at us.

DS has gone out screaming and sobbing and I’m crying because I’m exhausted and I know DH will be back home with him soon because he has refused to put the shoes on when he gets there and so he can’t join in.

I’m at my wits end! Please someone tell me this is a phase and he will snap out of it. It’s been going on since October with no improvements!

My ds is exactly the same as this - literally every single thing you've said about your ds is the same with mine. He's been like this since 18 months and he will be 3 next month (sorry).

I posted a few weeks ago on here about my troubles with getting him dressed in the morning. I tried absolutely everything suggested on the thread and none of it worked. In the end my DH solved it by bribing him with an episode of paw patrol.

I have at times taken him to preschool with his wellies on and handed over his shoes to one of the staff to 'work their magic'. They make him wear a hat somehow too, which is nothing short of a miracle .

He was having total meltdowns at preschool so the staff suggested he start 10 mins earlier so he has time to adjust to being there before the other children arrive. They also have a quiet room where his key worker can take him if he's really struggling. He's been going there sincr September and it's only in the past week I've really felt he's more settled.

Bath bombs and letting him take some of his normal toys into the bath has helped with that a bit.

Character clothing for helping with getting dressed, though this can be hit and miss.

And I know you said he will only read the gruffalo, but might be worth having some books about getting dressed, going to nursery, etc lying around for him to find. The gruffalo phase won't last forever! I bought this slightly twee book for toddlers about how to calm down when you're cross (the toddlers I mean, not the parents ) when my older DC was 2. Older DC was never particularly interested in it, but DS found it in the back of a cupboard and became obsessed with it. After that, whenever he was throwing a tantrum I used to pretend to be the mummy in the book and quote bits of it to him, then we'd do the calming down techniques together. I do this at least once a day with him and it works every time.

Hope any of that is helpful to you. Annoyingly, it is mostly about figuring out what works best for your DC, which I'm sure you know already, but I feel needs to be said because lots of people will advise 'just do xyz' then it's easy to feel crap when that doesn't work for your DC.

@raviolidreaming
I once got into a bizarre heated discussion with my exasperated OH when I’d failed to tell him about a new “feature” of the nursery walk (my son would hide behind a lamppost and say “hello” in a deep voice). My OH hadn’t waited for the hello and my son went into absolute meltdown. “You didn’t tell me about the hello!!!!”

macaronip1e This is brilliant! Totally the sort of conversations that go on in our house too!

It sounds like my youngest at that stage, he’s recently been diagnosed with sensory processing difficulties. He still only wears a handful of things and he finds bathing unbearable. It might just be terrible twos but he might also be struggling with textures and sensations

DD2 was exactly like you describe and still has her moments now. I agree that your pregnancy might also be exacerbating things.

I always opted for the path of lease resistance so I’d let her wear her pyjamas if we went out but tell her the compromise was that she has to have her coat on as well. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's funny reading about the other Gruffalo babies We went through that phase too but we do manage some other books now.

All the Julia Donaldson/Axel Scheffler books have a hidden Gruffalo in them so that could spark his interest in different books.

I'm with zzzz on the crocs
My ds has asd and lived in these for years. He's was quite happy to wear them with thermal socks in the winter 🙈🤷‍♀️
And I got out of the house with a little less stress!

I used to take DD2 to nursery with bare feet and handed over the shoes at the door. I also let her wear literally anything that she was happy with as long as it wasn't like a swimming costume (I did once have to brave a tantrum when she wouldn't take her favourite soft red doggy coat off on an August afternoon when it was 28 sodding degrees) - I remember the nursery boss once remarking how nice it was that I let the kids fee free to express themselves through their clothes. I had very little choice! I mean, I suppose I could have insisted, but I prefer a happy two year old in bare feet and a pair of Mr Tumble pyjamas to a well dressed one who is ironing board stiff in the buggy and screaming their head off

As others have said, mine grew up into a preschooler with tons of sensory issues. Socks too loose (stick them in the 60 degree wash), hats unbearable, music too loud (get ear defenders, they are also totally cute), food not to be mixed up etc etc. My dad and I were both the same. She's grown out of most of it now at 6 but still kind of marches to the beat of her own drum. You'll come to find it charming, honestly. Totally anecdotal but I also think that if you try to accommodate all this stuff rather than overriding them, kids like this will reward you with becoming very loving and close to you. Unfortunately it takes till about 4 and a half to kick in - before that it's all don't cuddle me and I do it myself mummy aaargh.

All sounds very normal BUT...

My son can only wear 1 coat
-HATED the bath but loves swimming
-can’t handle haircuts or nails being cut,

• fussy with some food
• Cant go to stay and play groups
• no sense of danger
• won’t wear any clothes inside the house at all including pyjamas
• lines up toys

He’s autistic and a lot of what you have said is exactly how my son behaves and it’s to do with sensory issues and changes he doesn’t understand so might be worth keeping an eye out in case anymore things start to worry you in the future and just chatting to a dr or HV about it. My son didn’t have tantrums but completely meltdowns and id never seen anything like it. It was awful and now we know he’s autistic we parent him accordingly and don’t force him to wear certain things we know he’ll physically find very very very uncomfortable.

(My sons 3)

But everything you’ve said is also very normal toddler things :)

Hang in there OP. I’m in the same boat with have a 2 year + 4 months DS and 37 weeks pregnant currently. Exhausted and overwhelmed most of the time. Your DS’s behaviour sounds very familiar to me! I have a generally happy little boy but who has about 20 meltdowns a day about perceived injustices (wanting to keep his pyjamas on is a regular trauma in our house too!)

What has helped us so far? As others have said, fight only the battles you need to fight (removing him from dangerous situations, holding hand/ on reins near roads, apologising if he has been rude or unkind etc) and if something is causing lots of stress, consider how critical it is to fight this battle. My DS currently cries through every teeth clean for example, but sorry, teeth need cleaning, so we are persisting.

He does however live on yogurt, cheese, ham, crackers, chicken nuggets, fish fingers, pasta and potato waffles - I can get bananas, grapes, strawberries and sometimes apple into him but no veg apart if hidden in pasta sauce. This is not idea but I see it as a work in progress and I can’t currently deal with WW3 each mealtime (or an unsettled hangry toddler who hasn’t eaten because I tried to make it fish pie or nothing )

Also: somethings are stages. DS went through a ‘reject mummy’ stage in the early autumn, would push me away, shout ‘no mummy, go away!’ and cry for DH if left with
me. It was really really hard, especially as I was early pregnancy and sick/ tired/ hormonal but it has, thankfully passed now. As a wise poster on mumsnet advised me
at the time ‘it’s a phase, a tiresome phase’

Good luck xxx

Oh and chocolate buttons are daily currency in our house they cracked potty training for us!

So today, my two year old cried to go in the pushchair, cried to come out the pushchair, cried to go to school in slippers, cried to go in trainers, cried to jump in the puddle, cried because she had wet feet, cried because she wanted picking up, cried because she wanted to go down and now shes exhausted from all that crying...which leads to more crying...

Two year olds...who'd have em?!

Have a look at sensory processing disorder and trust your instincts. If i had a £1 for every time someone told me my childs behaviour was normal I'd be a millionaire.