To think this isn’t normal 2 year old behaviour?

[Purplepricklesalloverhisback]

DS was 2 in October. Since then he has hit terrible twos big time.

• he will only wear one pair of wellies. I had to source them in the next size up. If I wrestle any other shoes on to him he screams and pulls them off instantly.

-he hates being dressed. It’s tantrums, screams, tears, snot every morning. He always wants to rewear his pj top that he slept in. -he hates the bath. Screams the whole time, won’t sit in the water. No issues with it before turning 2 and he loves his swimming lesson!

• he has become very clingy with me. I have to be in the same room all the time and if I leave him anywhere he screams until I am back.

I’m 33 weeks pregnant and it’s killing me. I just want to cry all the time.

DH signed him up for a toddler football trial session this morning. It took two of us to wrestle him into some clothes and as soon as we got the trainers on him (he can’t do football in wellies) he pulled them off and threw them at us.

DS has gone out screaming and sobbing and I’m crying because I’m exhausted and I know DH will be back home with him soon because he has refused to put the shoes on when he gets there and so he can’t join in.

I’m at my wits end! Please someone tell me this is a phase and he will snap out of it. It’s been going on since October with no improvements!

@sarahandduck18@. That's not true, my dc did not say a word until he was two, now I can't shut him up.

Gettingsomewhere my son was also exactly the same at 2, at 3 1/2 he’s grown out of it. Most 2 year olds have some sort of behaviours around sensory issues, but it’s just a developmental phase. For a few like your ds it isn’t and the issues continue because of an underlying cause (I hope that doesn’t sound critical, I know having a dc with spd is really tough).

OP I was in your position a year ago (and pregnant as well!). It’s really tough, but normal and your ds will almost certainly grow out of it. You need to make your life easy, but at the same time decide what is non-negotiable e.g. you can’t wear your wellies inside, and just ride out the tantrums without getting stressed (easier said than done, I know!).

I’m also a senco and while he may have been late with his speech, I honestly wouldn’t be getting worried about where he is now or about any sensory issues. Our local speech therapists do a drop in clinic once a week, so you could see if you have something similar to put your mind at ease and get some advice about supporting his language.

Are you sure he cant wear wellies at toddler football. Football for two year olds is very much not like proper football at all. You are lucky if their foot makes contact with the ball half the time. My uncle runs football for 4 year olds and even at that age he would let them wear wellies if they wanted to.

Librarybooksandacoconut - if you're a senco then I'm surprised by your comment that 'for a a few like your ds it isn’t and the issues continue because of an underlying cause (I hope that doesn’t sound critical, I know having a dc with spd is rally tough)'

There is really NOTHING to suggest that Purpleprickles's toddler will have ongoing issues of any underlying cause.

Sounds perfectly normal to me.

I’ve got a photo somewhere when mine was little in wellies fast asleep in bed. Never took them off. Hated the bath. Hated certain clothes and was a total shit at times.

They are just learning how to find a place in life - it’s a big world when you’re two. Pick your battles.

Ravioli, I think you’ve misread my comment. I was replying to another poster who said her ds with spd was the same at 2. I 100% agree there’s no suggestion the op’s son does and I was hoping that the other poster’s comments hadn’t planted that seed in her mind.

aww love! i am very old and a nana, just remember

'this too shall pass'!

btw, it really is not the end of the world to let him go out in pjs and wellies! take photos and look back and laugh at them when he starts uni!

Sounds all very normal, very tiring as well.

Make life as easy for yourselves as possible, and cut yourself some slack. Toddlers like sameness, so the change of shoes, clothes, baths and activities coupled with his vague awareness of the baby coming will make him feel offkilter. He is telling you what he needs - and it is very much a need.

Gruffalo shoes maybe? I think Sainsbury's does them.

Otherwise I'd echo others re picking your battles. Hugs OP, it sounds really tough.

Another parent of SPD/ASD child here. It's impossible to say at this age whether there is anything going on. At 2 it's completely normal behaviour. That being said I would flag with hv in light of the accompanying speech issues so they can review him again when he's a bit older. Whether there is anything going on or not a visual timetable may help?

@Headinabook85 I would love to use a childminder nearer home, then he could have started at preschool when he was slightly older worn then doing the pick ups. Unfortunately we live rurally and there isn’t one anywhere near us.

I am also a SENCO although secondary trained rather than preschoolers. I’ve considered sensory processing, autism, speech and language issues, but I don’t really feel he quite fits those labels at the minute.

Purpleprickles, don’t think sen until he’s at least 4 as you’ll drive yourself mad! When you work in sen you can sometimes be a bit too tuned into these things as you’ve seen the cases where it is actually not a phase. Just remember of all the kids at your secondary school, 95% will have been the same at 2 and they will have grown out of it (or gone through some weird, teenage hormone fuelled regression where you sometimes wonder if you are actually dealing with a toddler ).

zzzzz - Introduce him to crocs.
Please don’t do this crocs are 😷
🤣🤣

OP how is his skin? I only ask this as echoes some of the issues a friend had with dd at similar age. Turned out she had very sensitive skin. Just a very faint rash but a cream from chemist worked wonders. Even if it's not this, use baby moisturiser and tell him it is magic cream to make the bath/shower/clothes better - assuming he's not a very young 2 and has reasonable understanding

I recognise a lot of this in one of my grandsons. Dressing him was a physical fight, as was putting him in his car seat. He was constantly in motion, climbing, covered in bruises and just contrary. He used to lash out and hated lights, noise and busy places. Bath time was reduced to a minimum and my son used to get in the bath with him.

His speech was delayed and at his 2 year check the health visitor said call us in 6 months if he is no better. Our local SALT said this was a common tactic (in our area) to keep the waiting lists low. However as he seemed to have sensory issues and was clumsy it was better that he was seen earlier rather than later so he was referred for an assessment. The appointment took 6 months and he was talking much better and at check up 3 months later he was discharged as he had come on leaps and bounds.

I would leave him in his pj top, there is no harm, and your DH can take him for a kick about in the park wearing his wellies rather than something that will stress you all out. My son took the path of least resistance and my grandson is delightful. He really did grow out of it.

Now he is older he tells us that some clothes irritate him, he always pulls the cardboard labels off clothes before trying them on and sometimes puts his socks on inside out as the seam bothers him. He still doesn't like bright lights or a lot of noise, unless he's listening to loud music .

It is hard and you receive so much conflicting advice on whether it's normal or not. I think you should move forward with requesting an assessment and meanwhile don't try to make him conform. I would much rather have a happy child wearing pyjamas and wellies than a stressed one wearing clothes.

Good luck

Thank you everyone. DH has returned from the football with him and says DS put the trainers on once they got there and he realised the wellies were at home so not an option!

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ sorry, Librarybooksandacoconut - I absolutely did misread your comment.

At my DS's 3 year old check the HV asked me if he helped me when I got him dressed. I just laughed and said no, it was more like wrestling with an octopus! 6 months later he was a lot better. In that I didn't have to pin him down so much!

I’ve considered sensory processing, autism, speech and language issues, but I don’t really feel he quite fits those labels at the minute.

I think most toddlers fit most of the labels! It is hard work, but toddlers are not rational creatures.

He sounds like a pretty normal 2 year old. Mine refused to wear any shoes at all he would only wear red wellies and it went on for about a year! But I wasn’t all that bothered by it. Perhaps get himsome gruffalo wellies, slippers, shoes, tops, my youngest lived in a Sully outfit...along with wellies and the nursery did not care one bit. If the nursery are not prepared to relax then move him to a different one. Speech wise, sounds normal, your HV is right listen to her and go back in 6 months if still an issue. Your DH can take your son out for an hour, it doesn’t have to be a structured activity, why can’t he take him to a zoo? Tbh the bathing .....limit it so long as he is clean don’t stress him out, he does sound tired and thy will tantrum over the funniest things, try not to get stressed with him just let him have his tantrum and then give him a cuddle. My eldest had a tantrum once because I wouldn’t let him grab Izal toilet paper, he screamed for an hour over that! My youngest was more into protests ...... he didn’t scream he would just stand there looking at me refusing to put clothes on pants and wellies were fine for him ....... to get something on him I let him wear the sully outfit which he approved of and voila he had clothing on and could go and play with his friends at nursery. They are naughty stroppy obnoxious little humans, try to see the funny side in what he is doing, there is no logic or reason to it ....your poor little man is having meltdowns over the funniest of things.

Oh and both mine had speech issues, my eldest was unintelligible until 2 and a half and the youngest was very nasal.......they are now adults .....still throw the odd strop but are able to speak clearly even if I don’t always want to hear the rubbish that they spout!

My dd will be 2 in April. Since the last month or so she's turned diva. You just have to ride it out. I went through it with my two boys as well, it passes.

That's just 2yos. Don't worry.