To say fuck it all and get on a train

[LearningMySelfWorth]

I'm struggling at the moment with my mental health and I cannot cope anymore with the relationships I have with the people around me. AIBU to tell them that I'm gonna take some time for myself and then get on a train to go to a theme park and stay in a hotel overnight and bloody well enjoy myself for once? I know it won't fix the issue but if I don't get away I'm going to break.

Go for it!
Everyone needs a break

Do you have children in your care?

As long as leaving does not endanger anyone, then take a break now. If someone would be in danger, then make arrangements and then take a break.

No I'm a 24 year old mature first year student who is constantly surrounded by 18-21 year olds that need help to do and arrange the simplest things and I'm sick of playing 'mum' and being the one to sort things and always be the one to give. I can't do it anymore. They're lovely people most of the time but still very clearly in the mindset/habit of having mummy or daddy fix everything and getting their own way.

I had a very different upbringing and the very nature of my family requires you to grow up and take responsibility for yourself and your needs ASAP. Which might not be right but it is what it is and means that I have 14 year old nieces and nephews who are more self sufficient than they are and I find that alarming.

YANBU. And if you do have children in your care then their father can jolly well look after them can't he!

Wanting to get on a train and run away was the biggest indicator to me that I was depressed, I couldn’t even tell you where I wanted to go or what exactly I wanted to escape from. Is there anyway you can take some time for yourself (maybe even to visit that theme park!)?

Sounds good op. So long as your mental health is good enough so that you aren’t putting yourself at risk. Don’t let others worry - let them know you’ll be back etc.
They sound very hard work and you deserve a break !

I think right this second I'm on the edge between mania and crashing. I've spent the last few days struggling/unable to get out of bed. Sleeping through alarms and I mean sleeping through them. I'm compulsively buying things that I don't even need. I'm not eating properly. I've gone from a size 22 to an 18 in two months due to stress but I can and will pile it on and more because my diet has gone to shit and I'm now sitting eating cheesecake. My arms have broken out in rashes/hives that I get due to allergies and stress.

Take the break. And have a word with your university's welfare team. They will have some strategies for dealing with this.

I was a verrrrrry mature student, had no issues with the younger ones but two other mature students on my courses expected some of us to do all the work. Avoided them like the plague, stupid K my head down in various areas I could get quiet study, and made sure I never told them about these places.

Running away won’t help, just stop being a mother figure to them and live your own life

The problem I'm having as a mature student is that they seem to see me as a older sibling/parent substitute and I can't be that all the time. They do and have tried to help me but they're very young for their age and would have no idea how to deal with anything that I'm going through. I've spoken to the welfare team but as I'm not 'at risk' they can't do anything as they're so underfunded and oversubscribed.

learning good you’ve come on here. Have you seen your gp or do you have any mental health support who can help you through this ?? You sound as though you do an amazing job caring and supporting others. Time to get some care and support for yourself.

I try to ignore it and not do that and to an extent it has stopped but when they come to me crying or panicked for whatever reason I can't turn them away. I'd be crushed if I reached out to someone and they told me to go away. Practical things like cooking/cleaning/making calls and the like I leave to them. It's not my job to sort them.

I was on fluoxetine for a year but it had serious side effects like neuropathy and messed with my short term memory and I'm only just getting over most of that. My GP is monumentally crap tbh and I'm in process to change to another surgery.

Why don’t you tell them that it’s not your job?

Maybe calling a mental health support line could be helpful.

You say they have tried to help you, so they know of your mental health? Maybe they think coming to you and bonding will help you. They are young. You need to speak about how you are feeling in full to your doctor

I'm going to see my GP once I've managed to get the paperwork at a new surgery accepted, the one I have is abysmal tbh. I've used mental health support lines and they do help but right now all I can think about is the brief release I'll get by leaving for awhile and then coming back with a fresh look on things.

I understand some gps are better than others, I’ve been there. But if you are in a new area you can see an emergency gp. Or call 101 and explain, they can find you someone better

I didn't know 101 could do that, I usually only call them if I'm stuck between not knowing if I need A+E or a GP.

If you call 101 and tell them you don’t want to see your gp they will help

Ummm ... isn't 101 the non-emergency police number?

Its 111 you need. 101 is the non emergency police number.

Apologies yes i meant 111

Whoops good thing I didn't call haha, I knew you meant 111 but didn't even question the mistake.